...and such is the way God has designed all things. I sit here in the hospital, waiting rather impatiently for them to tell us we can go home with our Billi Bed and our baby to our own comforts and familiar surroundings, and I can't help but think about the emotions and heart treasures God has given me to contemplate in the past 72 hours.
On one hand, I look at this sweet, precious, cuddly little boy and praise God ecsatically that he is finally here...safe, no NICU needed, a great sleeper, and learning to be a good eater. How blessed am I! So thankful not to be in discomfort, to be relieved of the pains of pregnancy and the worries of bed rest and what ifs. Yet, now, on the other hand, my little boy is here and already beginning to grow and change, and the responsibility and priviledge of raising another little life to follow the Lord weighs silently in the background reminding me of why God gives us children to begin with...to keep His legacy of love, forgiveness, second chances, and new days alive for a dying world to see and remember and turn to seek Him.
Anyone who is a parent knows all too well this double edge sword of succulent sweet joy and piercing heart ache that goes along with growing children. I look at my Savannah now, so big in comparison to her little brother!!! I laugh and smile warmly at her every new phrase and action. reveling in the relief of freedom that her growth and understanding brings, yet silently part of me wishes she would never grow up. That I could forever enjoy the joy of her innocence without the heart ache of growth that knowledge and discipline bring. 
I giggle and marvel in her daily independence then inwardly cry when I realize that only 22 months ago, she was as dependent as my little Weston is now. I warm and my heart smiles at every grunt the little guy makes, patiently waiting out the squealing cries knowing all too well, these days will pass too quickly, and I will be marveling and aching at the same time over his new found independence as well.
I look at this sweet picture of me and my mother, and I know that these feelings never change, lessen, or go away. Everyone constantly learns to latch onto the joy of fleeting moments while tempering them with the knowledge that "this too shall pass." Yet somehow God allows us to bear the daily heart ache, so we can cherish the daily blessings. Is this not how He deals with us too? Every day? In everything? Don't you know as His children we cause Him the same joys and pains? Our Lord is all about telling us His story, and the most precious gift He allows us is that He doesn't just tell us His story, He allows us to live His life--granted from a limited earthly perspective--but could we really handle all the realm of emotion our Lord must be made of? I think not!
So for the rest of our lives, where one story ends another will begin. The plot, setting, and characters will change, but I'm finding as time passes that the theme remains the same. God loves me. God loves you. God loves my family, and it is my response to Him to see to it we all share this love with everyone who will take a moment to listen and see and turn to seek His face.
I may be an emotional, post-pardom mother right now, but I'm pretty sure this all rings true. My milk is in, my breasts are killing me, but praise God Weston can nurse! I'm thanking the Lord that this hopefully will not be a repeat of breast-feeding horrors like it was with Savannah=) The beginning of this story is off to a good start! I'm looking forward to what God has in store for my little ones!
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