Losing Those 15lbs

15lbs. It’s the average weight most people would like to lose. I know I would. Ten pounds gets you to a healthy weight, but fifteen gives you room to wiggle. You know, the old gain-five-being-bad, lose-five-being-good routine. It’s been said the average person gains fifteen pounds each decade. Yikes. If you’re not aware of the gain, cognizant to stop it, that’s how you end up seventy years old, overweight, and with joints so old you’re unable to move and drop the weight faster like you could in your youth. It can be done, it’s just twice as hard to do. I want to stop the weight gain before it gets to the point where it’s too hard to do or more difficult than it needs to be.

But weight loss is NOT easy. At 40, my metabolism decided to get even slower than it had been in my thirties. I’ve been on a personal health journey for 15 years. I know way more now than I did then, but my clothes size doesn’t necessarily reflect the knowledge. Why? Because we live in a world of instant results, instant gratification, instant coffee, and microwaveable life. And knowing all the right things isn’t the same as doing them. Every day. Every minute of the day. Every second.

True weight loss and then weight management begins with daily, lifelong choices. Hourly choices. Minute-by-minute, craving-by-craving choices. I want sugar! Nope. You need to drink more water. Salty snacks!!! Nope. Try an apple or hummus first. I’m SO tired. One more TV episode. Nope. Let’s go for a quick walk around the block. Do you see the battle here? Constant desires of feeling good, tasting good, being comfortable—this is called temptation. It is constant. The barrage of temptations doesn’t quit in this world. It’s actually quite exhausting and no wonder why most people just keep gaining those fifteen pounds every decade. To fight off temptation can be a full-time job all in itself!

The same is true in your walk with the Lord, only the temptations come in the form of voices in your mind, lies that have been building since you were a child. Lies once whispers in adolescence are full on bull horns in adulthood. We ignored the whispers but cover our ears in pain at the bull horn. I don’t know about you, but I’m done with the bull horns. I want the voices silenced, and if they can’t be erased this side of heaven, I at least want them back to a whisper for goodness sakes. Those bull horns are heavy, and I want to drop some serious spiritual weight. How?

True weight loss and then weight management begins with daily, lifelong choices. Hourly choices. Minute-by-minute, craving-by-craving choices. I want recognition! Nope. You need to drink more Living Water. Influence!!! Nope. Try scripture memory and meditation first. I’m SO alone. No one even cares who I am. Nope. Let’s go attend that Bible study. Do you see the battle here? Constant desires of feeling not enough, wanting more, being discontent—this is called temptation. It is constant. The barrage of temptations doesn’t quit in this world. It’s actually quite exhausting and no wonder why most people just keep gaining those fifteen pounds of bull horns every decade. To silence them is a full-time job all in itself!

When I try to manage my weight loss, of any kind, on my own, I fail miserably every day.

I am in constant, desperate need of a Savior, an accountability Partner, a Source of Life and meaningful motivation. God the Father is all those things and more. Jesus provided direct access through His sacrifice. A direct intravenous (IV) line to the hydrating Living Water of God. Then when He ascended back to heaven to prepare eternity for His loved ones, Jesus left behind the Holy Spirit—His Spirit—to fill and guide His children, to provide a constant source of nourishment. As a child of God, I’m never alone. I’m always enough, never too much, perfectly content, fully satisfied and filled to overflowing in all the things of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. That is who I am. (John 7:37-39, John 14:16-27, Psalm 103:4-5)

If you don’t observe me living like this is true, it’s because at some point in time in my journey with the Lord, I messed with the IV needle. I might have even yanked it out, or maybe someone else bumped me and dislodged it, or maybe something done to me even yanked it out. Regardless, my source of nutrition, wellness, fullness, help—it’s come loose. It’s not in place and flowing like it should.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I hate needles, and if my IV has been dislodged, I am not about to even try putting it back in place. So, from my place of weakness, need, and/or discomfort, I cry out for my Great Physician, and He comes and puts me back together with as much care and gentleness as He can manage given the circumstances. He is patient and gracious with me, not condemning or withholding. (Psalm 18:6, Hosea 6:1, Matthew 7:11)

He freely restores my Source of constant Help—His Spirit—as soon as I confess I need it. (Proverbs 28:13, 1 John 1:9, Acts 3:19-21, 1Peter 5:10)

I think that’s the weight loss tip I have yet to master. I need help. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every breath. I need help. I need Jesus. I need His Holy Spirit connection to enjoy lasting results of any kind, physical or spiritual.

In Matthew 26 verse 41, Jesus is pleading with his disciples to “watch and pray,” so they wouldn’t fall into temptation because “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Don’t I know it! To watch means to be aware. To pray is the act of seeking support from Someone higher than you. Whenever we fall to temptation, we’re either unaware—whether innocently or by our own choice—or we are refusing to seek support from someone Who knows more than we do.

Friends, I want more victory in my life! I want to shed these fifteen pounds. For good. God has increased my awareness for decades, now I pray He increases my faith to pray, to take courage, to access the power of the Holy Spirit readily available to me (2 Peter 1:1-4). This weight is coming off, friends, and it won’t be my doing. If you see me fifteen pounds lighter in the days, months, years ahead, let it be a testimony to my Helper, my Savior, my Personal Trainer. He prompted, led, guided, encouraged, and fueled the journey. And if I’m not, grace please. It’s so easy to forget we need the IV connection and try to live without it for a while.

We are all a masterpiece in progress, a world-class athlete in training. In progress. In training. There’s still a work in us to be done. A work our Jesus is faithful to perfect (Philippians 1:6). He’s doing His part all the time. Our part is simply to let Him do His. Believe, trust, obey, follow, have faith. Love Jesus in word and deed more than anyone or anything else. And when you mess up and miss the mark, forgetting His plan is better than your own, take some time to confess and return to Him once more.

I’m learning confession in all areas of life really is the best way to lose weight. Repentance—the returning—is the best way to keep it off. Confession keeps my proud heart in the right posture before God—humbled, aware of my great need that only He can meet. Repentance opens my heart to be filled by the Spirit once again, to live from the Spirit instead of just for Him. These small nuances make all the difference over time, like logging your meals or choosing fruit over ice cream. Confession and repentance are our reset button, like a daily cleanse for your gut.

When’s the last time you hit the reset button with Jesus? Not just a quick “I’m sorry,” but some time in prayer, on your knees, getting it all out there in the open? There’s so much more here I’m still learning to unpack. I’m learning to practice what I preach even today. So, I think I’ll stop here today and go do just that.

 

A Child's Place: My Truth Reminder

I don't know about you, but when you live in a child-centric culture like ours, it's easy to begin doubting oneself on almost every level, every minute of every day. Questions bombard parents on a daily basis that usually come in the form of second-guessing, self-doubt, or self-criticism. Am I my child's protector? Am I accountable for their future? Am I making the right choices to assure their health and safety? Can I ensure their health and safety, really? What's my responsibility and what is just out of my hands? Do the choices I make for my children really direct their future? How much of this is on me and how much of this is on the Lord?

Lately, as my children continue to grow and change, and I think about the teenage years being just around the corner, I find myself in an inner state of worry and turmoil. Am I really doing my best? Have I done all I can do? Am I presently, in this moment, doing all I can do? And my brain spins and mind rages, and that knot in the pit of my stomach tells me I'm missing something or my kids are gonna end up irreparably damaged. To make the voices stop and get off the crazy train, I had to go to Scripture because that's the only place I've ever found reliable truth. I asked, what does the Lord require of me as a parent? On some very light research, here's what I found...

***Children and pain kinda go hand in hand. It's unavoidable, but children are also a source of pure joy in a world where real joy is difficult to experience. They are one of many sources of God's blessing for us here on earth. Genesis 3:16, Psalm 113:9, Proverbs 31:8, 3 John 1:4

***Children often elicit deep, irrational emotions from us. (Guilty and Amen.) Genesis 30:1, 1 Samuel 1:8, 12-16

***Children are a gift from God. A gift, which makes us the receiver of the gift.  We are not the Giver or the Creator of the gift, just the recipient. So like most people should do with gifts, we say thank you, and we cherish what has been given. The gift does not get elevated to a place of prominence and importance in our lives. The person who GIVES the gift does. The Giver gets the recognition and thanks for any recognition their gift may bring. How many times have you been complimented on something only to turn around and deflect the praise to the person who gave you whatever has been complimented? Genesis 33:5, Psalm 127:3

***Children ask us questions to which we are to answer with God's answers; they are to be taught. They are students. We are teachers. This is a Biblical responsibility on their part and ours. We are tasked with developing life-long learners with teachable spirits. This may be our greatest role and goal as a parent. We are to do this in such a way that exhorts and encourages our children, not exasperates or discourages them. Exodus 12:26, Deuteronomy 4:10, Joshua 4:6, 21-22, Psalm 34:11, Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21, 1 Thessalonians 2:11

***Children are recipients of our spiritual and physical inheritance. The trickle down effect is real. Your character matters in this generation and the next. They are to be valued and given provision. Exodus 20:5, 34:7, Numbers 14:18, Deuteronomy 4:40, 5:9, Joshua 14:9, Psalm 78:4-6, Proverbs 13:22, Jeremiah 32:18, 39, Mark 7:27, 2 Corinthians 12:14, Thessalonians 2:7

***Children are God's visuals to us. How we treat our children is suppose to mirror how God treats us. The innocence and purity of children is suppose to remind us of the attitude with which we are to approach God and His kingdom. They are a visual to us (adults) of how we are to approach and receive the kingdom of God in our lives; therefore, all children should be allowed the opportunity to come to Jesus. The disciples were actually rebuked by Christ for trying to keep the children from Him.  Psalm 103:13, Matthew 7:11, Luke 18:15-17

***Children are to obey their parents; therefore, it's our job to see to it they know what it means to obey. We are also responsible for keeping them under control and managing their behavior. That means the adults make the choices and decisions that matter, not the child. Ephesians 6:1, Colossians 3:20, 1 Timothy 3:4, 12

So, quick debrief...children are:

A source of pain, irrational emotion, joy, and blessing. A spiritual growth stimulant. Our own personal classroom. A visual example and reminder of how our hearts should be positioned before God. Our heirs and students. Compassion practice. A gift. Children are many things in this world, and we have many responsibilities toward them, but notice the things that are NOT on this list...

***I am NOT my child's salvation. Jesus is. I am to be a picture of protection, a reflection of God's safety and security in their lives, but ultimately I am limited and will fail. I must teach my children to take refuge in the Lord alone. Psalm 36:7, Psalm 72:4, Proverbs 14:26, Matthew 23:37

***I am NOT the guarantor of their success or happiness or application of their potential. That's all been spelled out in God's plan for them already. I'm on a need-to-know basis for this one. Therefore, I can be the best teacher I know how to be for the time and opportunities I'm given to teach/coach, but ultimately my children are not a reflection of me. They were created to be a reflection of God's glory, to be a reflection of God. I can guide them and point them in that direction, but the outcome for that is out of my hands. Psalm 139, Proverbs 16:3-4, Proverbs 19:21, Jeremiah 29:11, Matthew 6:31-33, 1 Corinthians 2:9, Ephesians 1:11, 2:10, Philippians 1:6, 2 Timothy 1:9

If God created them to be a reflection of His glory and His heart in this world, then whether or not they are successful in this arena is His responsibility. WHY? Why are we so quick to try to do God's job for Him?!?!?! I'm not prideful enough to think I can do God's job better than Him (or am I?), but I'm afraid I'm ignorant enough to not recognize when I'm trying to shoulder the burden of a weight that I was never created or expected to lift, much less carry. Sometimes, when the weight is too heavy, you just need to stop. Stop and recognize your limits. Just stop trying to pick it up and release it all together. Step back and walk away from that weight. You were never designed to lift it.

Over and over in Scripture, children are listed in line with "men, women, and children." They are acknowledged as small adults. Separate, yet equal to men and women. What applied to the men and women always also applied to the children. The judgments AND the blessings always equally applied to men, women, AND children. They are not special or exempt simply because they are young. Ultimately, we are ALL children, children of God, subject to the judgments and blessings of HIS kingdom. Romans 8:16-17, 21

I fear we live in a society where this verse rings all too true:

O My people! Their oppressors are children, And women rule over them. O My people! Those who guide you lead you astray And confuse the direction of your paths. Isaiah 3:12

And there you have it. Scripture rings true again. Scripture brings peace and clarity into my mind that is assaulted by the false messages of culture and this world on a daily basis. My role as a parent is actually quite clear and as usual simple: Be the best life-coach/teacher I know how to be, that God has equipped me to be, and constantly shepherd my children toward the Lord. (Oh yeah, feed and clothe them too;) If what I'm concerned about during any given moment of the day for my children doesn't fall into one of these categories, then I've walked back to that weight I was never meant to lift, and I'm trying to lift it....again. If I'm overly concerned about their safety, their health, or their future, I'm trying to lift that weight again.

Jesus lifts that weight with his pinky finger, with the bat of an eyelash. Why am I even trying? It's a question that bears examination, and it's where I've ended this train of thought today. It seems my job as a parent is simple and clear and so is God's. He's trusting me to do my job--provide, educate, enjoy; I need to trust Him to do His even if His choices of how He provides "safety", "health", and "success" don't match the world's or my own definitions of these things. That's a hard truth to wrestle--when God's plan for safety, health, and success doesn't match your own.

But for today, for this blog, I'm grateful for the freedom and release that comes from taking the time to draw closer to the heart of God and His plan for my life, to try and find a balanced, scriptural perspective on His expectations of me as a parent. And for today, I am strangely relieved and feel lighter in my step accepting and trusting His role in the lives of my children in comparison to my own role. In reality, God has the much harder job. Praise Jesus!