Birthday Waves

It’s no secret my children enjoy challenging my creative abilities when it comes to their birthday cakes.  And it’s no secret creating their imaginations brings me much joy.

For her 13^th birthday, which is a slightly big milestone in my mind, my daughter asked for a from-scratch chocolate cake with chocolate mousse decorated with an exact replica of her surfboard surfing a wave. Oh my.

First let me tell you, ideas for how to create a 3D ocean wave were completely absent in my online and Pinterest searches. Second, my daughter might have changed her mind three times within the week before her birthday about what would be acceptable to her. Third, I have skills, but no training. Any skills I posses are winging-it at best (Thank you Lord for an inkling of artistic talent.). My daughter has more decorating and baking experience than I do at this point, but she has been gracious, and after a few terse exchanges about the mind-changing difficulties, she stepped back and let me do my thing.

To say the oversized-cupcake result represents a monumental amount of failures would be an understatement. Compared to the vision in my head, this is an artistic Pinterest fail. I’d also give myself a D+ on execution and technique. (If you had only seen my kitchen in this process…eye roll.)

But as I stepped back to survey the end product, for an untrained decorator with no source of inspiration other than my daughter’s surfboard, it’s not half bad. It’s almost even pretty. Others might find it incredible. The artist is always their biggest critic.

And all I could do was think about my daughter and me and surfing and life and all the lessons held within this experience.

Our ideations of how life should turn out rarely come to fruition the way we envision, but along the way, on the journey, in the process, we learn invaluable lessons.

At one point in my complete frustration with icing the project, my daughter walked over and gently came alongside me and just helped. She didn’t placate me with encouraging words that weren’t true. She didn’t say anything negative or positive about the wreck that was unfolding in front of me. She just offered to help. Then with calm confidence, she did. She fixed the issue, and in the process taught me how someone can be gracious with their help, how someone coming alongside you can calm with just their presence, how tackling problems together without a lot of words is worth its weight in gold. She got me back on track, then walked away, leaving me encouraged to keep moving forward and able to manage what was in front of me.

She’s good at that. Her confidence, when bridled with gentility and grace, guides others. Life’s kinks and bumps in the road have never phased her for long. She just takes it as it comes, and like surfing, sometimes she catches the ride while other times she waits for the spin cycle to end to take a breath.  But no matter the outcome, she gets back on that board and paddles back out because the thrill of trying is worth possibly getting crushed, and if you’re out there in the line up with friends, even better. She’s a ride or die kind of friend that would rather encourage you to keep going with her than throw in the towel. She’ll laugh with you, not at you, then laugh at herself harder.

All these lessons from one almost-failed attempt at a birthday cake. All these lessons from my girl. I hope the lessons keep coming. I hope I’m never too proud to learn from the younger, to learn from the mistakes, to keep trying, to keep paddling back out.

Happy 13^th birthday, Savannah Lee. I pray for many more years of learning our way together through this life because one thing’s for sure, you’re gonna make it fun. Hugs, your Mama

Christmas Letter 2016

Dear Family & Friends,     

We love California. Living here is a gift from the Lord. One we never even knew we needed.  There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t breathe in the blue skies, sunshine, and 70degree temps and thank the good Lord that this is my home for this season of life. This year especially, I’m grateful for this daily blessing of beauty and serenity because a more truthful confession is this has been one of the hardest AND one of the best years of my life all in one. I’ve lived out both sides of the coin, moment by moment on some days. Some days and moments were heads up, and many days and moments were tails up, head buried. So when you read this letter, I pray you hear an honest voice and see an honest glimpse into the life of a family that at the end of the day, the end of the year, just loves Jesus and wants you to love Him too because His presence has taught me how to persevere with joy this year.

Perseverance. He gave this word to me in January in the middle of the study of Revelation in Bible Study Fellowship (BSF).  At the time, I figured it was just the word I needed in order to finish strong the study (not an easy book to study!), a word that reflected what was required of God’s people throughout the book of Revelation. Ah, but it has represented so much more. Through the comingling of joy and struggle, God is teaching me the unsurpassed beauty and treasure of perseverance.

Perseverance, endurance, stick-to-it-ness, steadfastness. Words our present culture respects from a distance, but no one gets too close, and most people try to pass them by. Those words have teeth. They hint at something hard and negative, sounds like work. Those words require a way of living that isn’t fast-paced, constantly changing, full of options and instantly microwavable results. No, these words produce a character quality in someone that makes them resilient and rooted and strong and beautiful.

Savannah got her first set of braces in January, and I watched her persevere all year with an amazing attitude and acceptance. The braces came off in November and her teeth are beautiful. I’ve watched her persevere in swimming, tennis, and gymnastics this year, along with developing her skills in the arts and her academics. (Learning Latin is not for the faint of heart! She is taking 3^rd grade by storm!) My girl has more energy and more gumption for life than any child I’ve ever known. But the best news of all came in February when she openly prayed during our family devotion on the first day of Lent to receive Christ as her Savior. She chose to be baptized in my mom’s pool in July, surrounded by our GA family and friends, and I have watched Savannah persevere in her growth as a child of God ever since. She is nine years of joy!

I’ve watched Weston persevere in his walk with the Lord as well. He’s my cautious, intuitive thinker, and it’s been a joy to watch him grow in courage and determination this year, willing to commit and take more chances. Turning 7 in August, he was more than ready to begin first grade and has excelled. But watching him begin to fall in love with the game of soccer this fall was maybe my favorite thing. He works so hard! He doesn’t give up, and he takes correction, honestly always trying to improve. He scaled wall after wall of rock climbing courses at a gym at Thanksgiving, like a pro. We jokingly called him “Rock-boy,” to which he replied, “Call me Peter. His name means Rock.” We laughed, but my heart swelled because Weston’s name means Steadfast. He is more like Peter the apostle than he even knows. Watching my son persevere to overcome fears this year has been a gift.

Joey has persevered in his work and in his growth as a husband and father. I’ve watched him approach every change that came his way at work with grace, always acting with integrity in each situation, giving nothing but his best. I’ve watched him seek the Lord this year in a new way. I’ve seen him grow closer and stronger in his role as our family’s leader. After fifteen years of marriage, he is still persevering with me in marriage and seeking to pursue me, know me, see me. We began the year on the tails up side of the coin, but through the power and provision of our relationship with Jesus and our love and commitment to one another, we’ve been living the heads up side for most of the year. Joey’s perseverance in choosing Jesus, choosing us, every day, has been my greatest gift and highest high of this year.

The heads up moments have been simply amazing, dreams realized—God’s provision in completely taking care of buying back our not-well-made RV, traveling to San Francisco, driving the Pacific Coast Highway for Spring Break taking in the breathtaking majesty of mountains dropping into the vastness of the ocean, camping in Joshua Tree National Park in the middle of 20mph winds (so many stories!), visiting dear friends in Brazil over the summer, getting to see Iguaçu Falls while we were there (one of the New Seven Natural Wonders of the World!) which were simply mesmerizing, a last minute trip to Hawaii before school started back full of snorkeling with sea turtles and ogling over the uniqueness of our Creator’s design, co-leading a table of multi-generational women through the women’s ministry at our church, deepening my relationship with my now-sophomore girls in high school ministry, developing so many new friendships, lots of paddle surfing, and spending almost every weekend boogie boarding and watching sunsets by a fire on a beach with our dearest CA friends. These are some of my favorite memories ever, in my entire lifetime. So many amazing blessings. I have loved the heads up side of the coin this year.

The tails up moments have been learning to persevere in the mundane, the ordinary, and the seemingly insignificant routines of this stage of my life. The never-ending laundering, child-shuttling, grocery-shopping, meal-planning, homework completing, errand-running, need fulfilling stage of life where my identity seems to disappear into the titles of “mom” and “wife.” I love these titles. I’m blessed to have them. But they become only titles and not blessings when my life is not fully connected to my heavenly Father who breathes life and purpose into the mundane. Who has asked me this year to stay the course and live out everything I’ve ever proclaimed I believed in the ordinariness of my life, placing one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, being present, and daring me to find joy in it. He’s challenged me to be content being a nobody (in the eyes of the world) for Him. To live a faith filled, righteous life for the sole purpose of being noticed and praised and seen only by Him. This has been hard, but it has also produced an abiding joy I am still learning to define.

In the middle of these highs and lows, my dearest CA friends lost their eight-year-old son in a tragic accident. Savannah and Weston lost a playmate and friend, and the world lost a beautiful soul. Grief has colored the last six months of this year for me because I have come to love these friends and their family like my own. Choosing and desiring and loving being a part of their daily lives through the pain of this journey has taught me what perseverance means more than any other experience in my life.

Perseverance is not something you set out to accomplish or obtain. It is a natural byproduct of loving well. I love my friends deeply, so despite the pain from their lives that naturally ebbs into mine, I will persevere in that friendship. I love my children deeply, so despite the irritations and hurt we may cause each other, I will persevere in my role as their parent. I love my husband with all my heart, so despite the inevitable hardships our growing and changing lives will encounter, I will persevere in learning to be the helpmate God created me to be for him. I love my Jesus with all that I am, with my whole life, so despite the pain or discomfort that crashes into my life from tension with this world, I will persevere in my relationship with Him.

Perseverance is the natural byproduct of loving well. What a treasure!

So this Christmas season I challenge you also to persevere. Look around you and love well everyone and anyone the Lord has placed in your path. Follow Jesus’ example in Hebrews 12:1-3:

1Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us (you are NOT alone), let US also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us RUN with perseverance the race that is set before us, 2fixing our eyes ON JESUS, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the JOY set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

3For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (emphasis added mine)

Some of you need to believe you are not alone, some need to throw off weights and/or sin entangling your stride, some need to give yourself credit for loving well and fixing your eyes on Jesus, some need to despise shame and endure the cross God has given you to bear out of love for Jesus because Jesus doesn’t ask you to persevere through anything in life that He hasn’t already persevered and claimed victory over Himself! Learn to love well like Jesus. Recognize that somewhere in the middle of the process of enduring, there is JOY! The more years that pass, the more I believe that true joy cannot be experienced without deep struggle. So persevere because true joy is the reward, the prize, the gift.

May your love for Jesus produce perseverance in your life that brings glory to God and blessings uncountable to you and yours this coming year. Never give up on your pursuit of Christ because He will never give up His pursuit of you. He even came as far as heaven is to earth to humbly love us so unconditionally as to become One among us. Immanuel. God with us. Merry Christmas!

Grateful to be called His children,

Joey, Jennifer, Savannah, & Weston

Paddle Back Out

I watched my daughter paddle surf for the first time the other day.

Yes, you read that correctly. My almost-nine-year old hopped on mom's 9'6" board with a paddle just her size and paddled straight out into the ocean, into the waves. All by herself.

Kinda. I helped her carry the board, pulling it in and out of the water as she needed. I paddled out with her in the beginning. Watching, waiting, coaching here and there. I was gauging her fear, her ability, her confidence, and her openness to correction. It was low tide. She was in three feet of water at its deepest. She's a strong swimmer. The waves were rolling soft, no more than a foot or two at their max, but they were strong enough for a 90lb independent little girl to surf.

And surf she did! And I'm not talking a little ways off shore. I'm talking she paddled 100-200+ yards off shore. After a few bursts of advice here and there (and fully understanding the dangers she might face), I left her to explore, to try, to experiment. To learn. To adventure.

I love the water. I love everything about it. I want to be in it, on it, by it for the rest of my life, but I also realize that my loves in life may never be hers. So I've watched her since she was a baby, never pushing more than was necessary, but never allowing her to fear the water either.

And when we moved to California, water safety became paramount. You don't kayak, paddle board, swim, boogie board, or snorkel without being wise and safe and prepared, both physically and mentally. So both my children are required to take swim lessons. I would hope they can both repeat what I believe is the number one rule on the water: Never panic.

We bought them wet suits, so they could swim year round. Boogie boards so they could learn and feel the power of the waves, how they move and push and pull. Kayaks so they could build muscle, feel comfortable on a large mass of water, understand how you can glide across the surface. Snorkeling gear so they could learn what's underneath them, a whole other world of life. All the while, educating and dispelling fears.

Maybe more importantly, she's watched me paddle surf for a year now. She's seen me paddle out into waves and fall, crash, smash, duck and dive in the surf. She's seen me climb back on that same board and try again and again and again. She's heard me talk about how scared I was at times, but it didn't stop me. She's seen the exhilaration on my face and in my voice when I catch one, the triumph, the victory, the sheer joy.

She road with me once on the front of my board. I was nervous because I didn't want to scare her. I didn't want us both to get thrown off the board, and I'd be the reason she never got back on. By God's grace we caught a wave and rode it all the way into shore, literally. I actually had to make her bail off at the last moment because in my nervousness I forgot how to make us stop before crashing into shore. So I told her to jump, and she did, and she was shaken, but the thrill of the ride had left its imprint.

Now three months later, the conditions being perfect, she asked to take my board out. And she took it, and paddled, and actually caught waves! The thrill on her face when she realized she could stop paddling and the wave would continue to carry her was priceless. She'd raise her paddle over her head with both hands high and look for me, to make sure I was watching from shore, and I'd raise my hands in celebration with her. Then she'd turn, and she'd paddle out again and again and again.

And as I sat on the shore watching her, I saw her fall. Many times. I held my breath, bit my lip, and stilled myself to burst into the water after her should she show signs of distress. But each time, she climbed back up on that board. She never gave up. She wisely came in for short breaks when she was tired, but then she'd go right back out. I watched the waves wash over her. Watched her lose her balance. Watched her face sets of waves as they rolled unrelenting at times.

And I've never been more proud of my little girl in her almost nine years of life than when she'd fall, pop out of the water smiling, climb back on that board, and paddle right back out into the waves. She never let her failures keep her from trying again and again.

And for as much as I enjoyed celebrating her success, part of me more deeply enjoyed watching her persevere in the face of her failure.

And I wondered if God doesn't feel the very same way about me, about you, as His child, His children.

I look back at the circumstances and events of my life, and I can see how the water in my life has gotten deeper. The waves I face higher and faster and more fierce. But God has been gracious to me. He didn't throw me in the deep water first. He's been preparing me since I was a child. Small waves in shallow water. Small failures and small successes. He being ever present, guiding, coaching, watching.



As I sat there on the shore intently watching my own daughter, I could see my heavenly Father in my mind's eye watching me as well. Ever present. Ever on the edge of His seat to snatch me from danger. Celebrating with me, but maybe more importantly allowing me to fail, so I could learn and grow stronger, and try again, and persevere.



I feel my Father's favor and know His pride when I choose to persevere and never give up. On Him or on myself. Perseverance, gumption, endurance, stick-to-it-ness--these are the hallmarks of the faithful--the Hebrews 11 crowd.



Friends, I want to surf the waves of life regardless of how hard I fall or fast I fly. I want to surf. Not duck and cover, not bob aimless in the swells. I may rightfully fear the wall of circumstances that rise up from the deep of life, but I pray it's a cold day in Hades when I give up and settle for a seat on the shoreline.



Which means I must choose to take up my paddle, climb back on that board, and paddle back out. The last wave might have taken me out, washed me clear off my board, broken my paddle, and left me with a bruised body from the fall, and maybe the next wave will do the same. But maybe, maybe I'll make some adjustments, shift my feet, lower my stance, and catch the next one. And fly.



One thing I know for sure--my Daddy will be watching. He sees me. He knows exactly where I am in the ocean of life, and when I look to Him, His eyes are always on me. When I raise my hands in victory and praise, He raises His hands in glorious acceptance and joy. When I fall and look to see if He's there, I see Him poised and ready--sometimes with a helping hand, sometimes with an encouraging thumbs up, and sometimes with a knowing stare that silently conveys, 'You can do this. Get up.'

"Therefore, I won't throw away my confidence, which has a great reward. 36 But I have need of endurance, so that when I have done the will of God, I may receive what is promised. 

37 For yet in a very little while, Jesus is coming, and will not delay. 38 But you (Jennifer), shall live by faith;And if you shrink back, Jesus has no pleasure with you.

39 But I am NOT one of those who shrinks back to destruction, but I am one of those who WILL have faith to the [l]preserving of my soul." 

(Hebrews 10:35-39 Jennifer standard version)

This has been my life verse since high school, my motto in life, the driving voice I hear in the back of my mind when the waves of enemy voices come crashing with their lies, threatening to drown my will, my belief, my faith. I've been floundering here lately. Closer to the edge of retiring my board than I like to admit, but my daughter needs to see me keep trying, and my Father is still there, always there willing me to get back on the board and surf.



It's really for my own good and enjoyment that I do so. He knows I will only be miserable and slowly rot in my own self-pity, fears, and anxieties if I don't paddle back out.



So I think I will.



What have you been on the verge of giving up? your faith? your family? a relationship? a calling? a mission? a goal? Have you been benched for a season, and waiting is too hard, so you're thinking about throwing in the towel all together? Stick with it! Endure! Persevere! You may have unbeknownst little eyes watching you, but more importantly, your Heavenly Father's eyes are most definitely watching you. Paddle back out with confidence, knowing you are watched and seen by the undistractable gaze of the Risen King, Commander of Sky and Sea, and He's proud of you whether you fall or surf. Maybe the most proud when you fall and refuse to give up.



So take a deep breath and paddle confident. Paddle seen and known. Paddle like you are fully loved and life abundant depends on that. Because the truth is--in Christ--you ARE. Confident, always seen, intimately known, and fully loved every second of every minute of every day for all eternity simply because you are His child and for no other reason.

So get up. Go. Have faith. Persevere. Paddle back out.

.

Psalm 105:1

Tonight I sit overwhelmed and amazed and in perfect, exuberant peace. Tonight my daughter accepted Christ as her Savior.

In September, her younger six-year-old brother joined the family of God. He was beaming from ear to ear when we went to pick him up from his Sunday morning class, and he matter-of-factly announced that he had said the prayer to accept Jesus into his heart. Being six years old, Joey and I were hesitant and probably even doubtful this was a real decision, but boy, did God prove this doubting Mama's heart wrong.

My son was different. He was more open to spiritual conversations, more attentive, more willing to listen and attempt to apply Biblical truth to his life. He drew a precious picture of his heart with a stick-figure God inside, writing along the side that, "Yes. I did it. The God of Heaven" with arrows pointing to inside his heart. I didn't even know he had drawn this picture. I had simply mailed the envelope for him, but then my mother-in-love texted me a picture of the drawing when she received it. My heart jumped! Of his own accord, he had willingly told someone else about his decision. In the days to come, he would write messages in the sand on the beach, and my shy, little-man-of-few-words would volunteer to lead prayer time in his Sunday morning class, saying prayers that only come from the most pure of heart.  There's no doubt in my mind, the Holy Spirit filled my son this past September, and the conversations we have had since then have blessed me deeply.

But in the meantime, my eight-year-old daughter was hesitant, even resistant toward conversations we had with her about this decision. The Lord had to work on me. He told me I needed to shut my mouth, speak carefully and gently only when those small windows of opportunity arose, and not press. This was her decision, not mine. Her life choice. So I shut my mouth and prayed so fervently every night because I knew she knew. I knew she understood, but her open defiance was also clearly on display. She is queen of changing the subject, and Lord help us if we ever started to go deeper into anything than a puddle, she was always the first to come up for air, distracting herself with silliness and giggles and goofiness.

The Lord was faithful. He used a dear friend to point out Romans 2:4 to me, which basically states it is God's kindness that leads us to repentance. Kindness. That is not a character quality I would rank high on my list of attributes. We are a low mercy home in general. Practicing kindness seemed foreign. Good manors, respectfulness, obedience...yes, we do those, but kindness? Kindness relates closely to words like caring, heartfelt concern, mercy, compassion, empathy. Yeah, gut-check. I needed to work on those. My daughter needed to know my kindness, so she could understand in part the kindness of our heavenly Father.

So I stopped rolling my eyes at her dramatic flair; instead, at the Lord's prompting, I took more deep breaths and saw her for who she was right in her emotional moments. Hurt feelings, splinters, bruises, friend problems, school issues--these were all moments to put kindness into practice. Learning to love another person for who they are, right where they are in life, not getting frustrated at their unused potential, not seeing the person God is molding them to be, but seeing the person standing right in front of you, needy, hurting, responding to that person, that child--that has been embarrassingly difficult for me to do.

Lord, thank you for helping me to see my daughter through your eyes--valued, loved, wanted. Even in her rebellious heart, she was still wholly and completely desired as my child. Wow. Such a tender life lesson and peek through the looking glass at the heart of my heavenly Father. I don't think I really got it until I had to live it, to put it in to practice. Thank you, Jesus, for hard lessons.

Over the last few months, I've had to entrust my daughter over and over again back into the hands of her Heavenly Father who made her and knows her so much better than even I can hope to know. I've prayed often in tears. I've trusted the Lord's promise to me that before the age of 12, my children would choose to follow the Lord. I believed the encouraging words of wiser women who spoke truth that one day, my daughter would make that decision for herself. Somewhere in the past few months, I stopped focusing on my desires and my timeline and my daughter's attitude, and decided the only hopeful place to focus was on Jesus.

So I ordered the She Reads Truth Lent study. I've never observed Lent. I'm not even really sure what it stands for or what it is or how to rightly observe it. But I knew it was about my Jesus' journey toward the cross, and it was about intentionally focusing on Him and His sacrifice. So tonight, on Ash Wednesday, I sat my kids around our table. We lit the candle in our Lent Wreath and began the first of a 40 day journey toward the cross together.

Something about lighting that candle cast a spell on my children. They watched the flame and listened intently to the Scripture readings. They read some of the verses from their own Bibles. We talked and discussed and ate scripture together, and my heart was so full. And we talked about sin and repentance and confession and forgiveness and what it means to be a child of God. And in the tender closing moments, right before we prayed, my daughter tentatively announced that God was asking her to repent, that she believed in Jesus and what He had come to do, and that she wanted to follow Him and be a child of God.

And my heart overflowed! It burst open. Satan immediately tried to get in there with his voice of doubt, but I looked into my daughter's eyes, and I chose to believe God, just like she was doing. And she bowed her head and prayed, and I listened to her sweet words of repentance and confession and proclaimed belief in Jesus' death and resurrection. I didn't even have to say the words for her.  She spoke them all herself, and she spoke them perfectly. And then I knew she was my child because the tears of happiness began to flow and her eyes shone and glistened, and the joy of the Lord filled her countenance.

And in the quiet evening of Ash Wednesday our family of four was made complete in the Holy Spirit, sealed together in Christ for all eternity. My children choose Jesus. I can ask for nothing more.

At ages and six and eight, I know that they know. Their Spirit testifies to mine because it is the same.

I have no greater joy than to know that my children 

are walking in the truth. (3 John 1:4)

No. Greater. Joy.

May you also be encouraged. May you faithfully trust the Lord with the hearts and minds of those dearest to you. May the Lord hear your fervent prayers from heaven and look on you with favor. May you too know the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. (Psalm 27:13) Amen and Amen!

Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name;

Make known His deeds among the peoples. (Psalm 105:1)

   

Christmas Letter 2015

I post this every year for those of you I may have inadvertently forgot to send our Christmas card to. Enjoy and Merry Christmas from our family to yours!  .....

Dear Family & Friends,                                                                                                                 December 2015

Well, this was our first full year as Californians, and I must say, we have lived it to the fullest. Legoland, Disneyland, San Diego Zoo and Safari Park, USS Midway, Joshua Tree National Park, Big Bear snow tubing, paddle surfing, whale watching, too many beautiful sunsets to count--from the desert, to the mountains, to the beaches, we live California.

Weston turned six in August, and in September he joined Savannah as a kindergartner at Grace Classical Academy. God answered so many years of prayers on my part by giving him the sweetest class of all boys, brothers in make-believe games and soccer battles. But September 20th marked the best news of all for us, when Weston said the prayer to accept Christ as his personal Lord and Savior in his church class. The Lord has been so kind to this doubting Mama to confirm over and over again in very clear ways the presence of the Holy Spirit in Weston's heart and life, and the change in him is undeniable. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for his tender, yet deeply understanding heart!

Savannah is still my joy and lover of life. She's taken second grade by storm, turning eight years old in October. She loves everything and everyone, and while I still pray daily for her salvation, I am grateful for all the conversations we are having now about life and faith and people. Her heart is so tender and loving and open toward others that I can't wait to see how God is going to continue to use her to draw people to Him. She is a constant source of energy and life in our family for which I am truly thankful, and I have learned she sees value in things I overlook or take for granted. God is already using her to smooth out rough edges I didn't know I had, and for that I am learning to be grateful ;)

Joey continues to love his job, and we are blessed beyond measure by both our Chick-fil-A family here in California and in the corporate office. Every year that passes, I am more and more grateful for the faithfulness of the Cathy family to have built a business based on biblical principles.

But perhaps the theme for this year, the over-arching lesson for both Joey and myself and our children has been: Do the hard thing. Not just the next thing, but the hard thing. When you’re not sure which step to take next, step in the direction that is hard to go.  God has met us down that path so many times this year.

I cannot think of a time in my life where I have more actively sought the face and will of the Lord more so than in this past year. I have sought Him in stillness and patience and quietness and long, deep pauses of life. A life not busy. A calendar not full. A day not scheduled. And if you know me, you know how hard this has actually been for me to sink into.

We have sought the Lord in the most difficult task of finding a church home, a place to belong, friends to call our own. This journey has forced us to dig deeper into God's Word and challenge what we think we know. It has been the hardest journey to discern what is best for our family at this stage of our life. The Lord was faithful to finally open some doors in October, and we find ourselves finally at peace for a season connected with some awesome people we hope become lifelong friends in a church home that preaches the truth of God's Word without watering it down or avoiding the tough issues. Just the Bible--that's all our family really needs.

In August after much prayer, we bought an RV, and have enjoyed the intentional memories it allows us to make with our children as a family, seeing the beauty of God’s creation that is all over the west coast, but that too was a hard path to choose to take. God continues to ask us to trust Him with our finances in so many areas, but I’m so grateful that every time He asks us to take a plunge of faith He meets us right where we are and provides in ways we couldn’t have foreseen.

I've prayed with so many this year, had so many conversations, read so many news and opinion articles. It has been a hard year for many, for our nation, for the world. If I’m being honest, it’s still hard. Joey and I are pressing into the Lord and into each other during this season.  We’re holding our marriage and our children up to the Lord in daily surrender, with open hands, trying not to have expectations and to let God be God. A godly marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Separating the truth from the lies inside your own head is hard.

But friends, it is also SO VERY GOOD.  Hard, but good.  Because in the midst of choosing the narrow path, the hard path, the Voice of Truth comes and fills your life with meaning and goodness and a sense of purpose and fulfillment that only comes from a Good, Loving Heavenly Father who created us, so He knows exactly what fills the longings of our souls. You find His mercies truly are new every morning that His forgiveness covers a multitude of failings, giving you the renewed joy to try again.  You find refuge in His strength and not your own.  You find peace in His plan, so far out of your control that all you can do is trust and hope and try to be obedient.  And even though the obedience is the hardest part of all, the daily moment-by-moment choice to choose the Lord and His way, it is also where some of the sweetest moments of life are experienced.

I wonder if this year has been hard for you as well.  I wonder if you have taken the easy path, the fun path, the path you think you deserve, are entitled to, the life you think you should be living. I wonder if you have nothing to show for it but regret. I’ve made that mistake this year, and I’m so grateful that every time I turn around to try and choose a different way, the Lord is faithful to place before me the same hard path I could have chosen the first time. The path He always knew would be best. I didn’t miss it. He didn’t take it away, and He was right there to walk it with me every. single. time.

So my encouragement this year is to choose the hard. For me, I have to choose to be still instead of busy. Some need to become active instead of being still. For me, I need to pray more in secret and speak less in public, hence the fewer blog posts. For some, God is calling you to speak out the truth in love instead of holding it all inside. For me, I need to learn to be okay with being uncomfortable, to get comfortable with being rubbed raw and worked on from the inside out, and that is a hard journey I am only just beginning. Some of you have been uncomfortable you’re entire life, never feeling like yourself, and God is calling you to get comfortable with Him.

Do you see what I mean?  What is hard for me may not be hard for you!  We are all so different, so wonderfully made, so perfectly created. What is the hard thing to sink into at this point in your life, as this new year approaches?  What hard path have you been avoiding that you finally need to take the hand of your Heavenly Father and just trust Him, walk with Him down that path?

The words of Jesus Himself, John 16:33, "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble (guaranteed). But take heart! I (Jesus, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit living inside His believers) have OVERCOME the world!" (emphasis mine) Amen, Amen, and Amen!

Praying this Christmas season you can claim victory in Jesus as we celebrate His birth as the beginning of the end of the curse of man! The best gift of all because Jesus brought salvation for us all from it all. May you live a life of victory in 2016 choosing to do the hard things with Christ, overcoming and not losing heart.

“O victory in Jesus /My Savior, forever./He sought me and bought me /With His redeeming blood; /He loved me ere I knew Him /And all my love is due Him, /He plunged me to victory, /Beneath the cleansing flood.”

 –Bartlett, E.M, “Victory in Jesus”, 1939

Grateful every day Jesus took the hard path from heaven to earth, from earth to the cross, from death to life. Grateful he gives me a choice to follow His example, but also that He chose me to follow His example.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Praying you fully embrace the abundance of good in the midst of the hard,

Joey, Jennifer, Savannah, & Weston Durham

My Savannah

So some years are just milestones.  I can't pinpoint what makes six years old a milestone, but something about attending Kindergarten, reading on her own, memorizing flashcards, reciting and performing songs word for word (almost in key) makes six years old a milestone.

Six years ago today at around 6:30pm on a Monday, Savannah Lee changed my life forever when she made me a mom, and she keeps changing me every day.

She challenges me to draw closer to the Lord because only He knows how to parent her in the way she should go.  And I'm sure every parent feels this way, but her way will be special.  It will be blessed--full of joy, life, and the abundance of the Lord.  Her heartbreaks will be deep.  I'm seeing that now, but oh, the heights to which she will soar.  The heights to which she can make you soar.

She is the best of me and the spitting image of her daddy.  She is fun, brilliant, and kind.  Caring toward her friends, she manages to play dress up with the girliest of girls and turn around and wrestle with the best of the boys.  She has the Bounds family trait of being good at everything she does.  She is one of a kind, and I am so blessed God loaned her to me.

Happy Birthday precious girl!  You are loved so much more than you can even imagine.  I pray you don't just do great things in this lifetime, but that you learn to just be the best child of God you can possibly be.

With all my love,

(Click the picture above for more information about the photographer.  Lindsay Whited is a sweet friend of mine.  So blessed to have so many talented photographer friends in my life!)

Savannah Prays

So I've been wanting to post this for a while, but leave it to my most wonderful babysitter in the whole wide world to finally get a decent video of it=)

I'm not sure where my daughter learned to pray like this (and let me assure you, this is only the first few minutes of what is usually at least five minutes long).  Let me emphasize--we DO NOT pray like this at home! I would love to take some credit for this, but this is totally not of Joey or me, so I will chalk yet another thank you up to BSF and their fantastic children's program, and I will also say, I think my daughter might have a gifting in prayer if there is such a thing.

You be the judge.  Again, this is just the opening...

So I've been praying for God to teach me how to pray more effectively and more diligently and more genuinely.  Think maybe He's trying to tell me something through this sweet girl?  Genuine thanks, prayers for unity, blessings for others, scripture?  Not sure I could come up with a better outline=)

Oh how the Lord must wish we could all keep our child-like hearts and attitudes!  May I never become so prideful that I can't be as an innocent child before my Lord.  Happy praying=)

The Priceless

 (He's my skinny, mischievous little boy who just starting giving me the sweetest, real kisses in the past few weeks.  Melts my heart into butter.  She's my beautiful drama queen, always full of silliness and smiles, so I couldn't help but post this pout=)  She's my joy and sunshine--always has been.)

So, I haven't written much about my two munchkins lately.  Truth be told, we stay so busy, I don't have much time to write at all!!!  I feel so much like Mary, the mother of our Lord, pondering and trying to treasure all these things in my heart, praying that one day God will help me recall them and put them on paper in some format.  But today my heart sang, and this is why...

Saturdays have become my favorite day of the week now that Joey is home ALL DAY.  We eat family breakfast together, usually run a few needed errands together, then hang out at the house just soaking up the opportunity to be in each others' presence, fiddling around doing any odds and ends a home requires.

Today as I was busy prepping for the spring consignment sale, Savannah and Weston were busying themselves picking holly berries and placing them in a watering can.  This is the conversation I overheard:
Weston: "Sissy, I love you." (Completely out of the blue and unprompted!)
Savannah: "I love you too, Weston.  And we are going to be each other's friends forever and ever, right?"
Weston: "Right."

My heart thrilled and soured and dipped and twirled inside my chest!  It was such a matter-of-fact, Fox and the Hound type moment.  They are only 2 and 4, but I have prayed from the day Savannah was born that her brothers and/or sisters would be her best friends the rest of her life.  That God would give me the wisdom to somehow instill a sisterly/brotherly love for each other from the start of their relationship.  I don't want Savannah to grow up thinking she needs to be Weston's second mother, and I don't want Weston feeling like she is.  I want Savannah to grow up feeling valued and loved by Weston, and he respected and honored by her.  These deep desires start NOW.   I plant these seeds daily and earnestly at the leading of the Holy Spirit.

To be honest, I'm not sure how to even go about doing this, but I do the best I know how, responding as the Lord leads, and I try to think about how settling what seem like inconsequential arguments between them now is creating the building blocks for fostering that relationship and those future conversations.  So needless to say, this overheard treasure was deeply special.  One to be captured and hung in the Memory Hall (as I like to think of this blog.)

A little bit later, Weston is off doing his own thing, and Savannah walks herself out to the curb at the front of our house.  "Savannah, where are you going?" I yelled from the garage.  "I'm going to go sit down and talk to God for a while, Mom."  Really?!?  Does it get any sweeter than that?  "Ok honey, that sounds like a great idea."  Smiling to myself, I returned to work, and marveled in the sweet nothings of voice and sound that were coming from her direction.  Words I could not hear, but words nonetheless to our Heavenly Father.  I'm glad she felt the freedom to let me know and to just go---and talk to God.  May she always be wrapped in that freedom.  May those conversations only increase as her life moves on.

These are the priceless days, the priceless moments when time stands still and all is right with the world, even if just for a moment.  These are the truly priceless things.

(This one's for my brother Matthew--pretty sure she's pulling some form of the raptor pose in this pic=)

Christmas Letter 2011

Ok, so in case you didn't get one of these, here it is=)  I apologize to anyone who feels slighted...I simply ran out=)  If you did get this, scroll to the bottom for an addendum=)


Dear Family & Friends,                                                                                                     December 2011

This year I find myself writing with a full heart and in an overflow of gratefulness.  God has truly shown Himself good to our family this year, and as I write, I believe He’s not finished with us yet because this year still has a few more weeks left in it! ;)

This year Weston turned two and with adenoids removed and a new pair of ear tubes, I feel like my little boy just came to life over the summer.  He is so much fun!  And funny too!  He keeps us in constant stitches and giggles with his “Ahhh man” comments and other little man quips.  His dry humor, only understood through his still broken speech, just adds to his adorable smile and mischievous ways.  He’s learned to keep his sister in check, and the two of them play so well together; it’s truly heart-warming and an answer to prayer.

Savannah turned four this year, and I have been amazed and so grateful for her sweet attitude, caring heart, and helpful hands.  She is very capable and independent, but deeply concerned for the well-being of others as well.  I have enjoyed watching her little heart for God grow over this year.  She still can’t explain what it means to ask Jesus into your heart, but she adamantly claims that she already has.  I look forward to the day when she can completely understand and walk the aisle in baptism professing what I already know is deep at work in her heart.  Is that day not the completion of the best a parent can hope for?  A great answer to so many prayers?  I am expectant and so grateful to a God that works in our lives even as children.

I have kept busy with a long list of things this year among which I include the completion of two half marathons, one sprint triathlon, a Warrior Dash, and a Muddy Buddy Race.  I have fond memories of each, and I look forward to what this next year may hold for physical challenges.  I also was able to begin Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) in January, and I cannot say enough about the Biblical principles and spiritual growth I have experienced through this study.  The spiritual growth I’ve seen in my children through their children’s program is even more amazing, and it’s all free!!!  I highly encourage anyone searching for something solid and straight Bible to check out their program.  On top of this, probably the best decision we have made as a family this year was to join Burnt Hickory Baptist Church after the first of the year.  God has truly, deeply blessed our socks off through the ministry, people, and friendships we have made here.  I feel like we have finally found a church to call home for the next long season of our life, and I am beyond grateful for this blessing.

Joey officially graduated with his MBA from Mercer University in August of this year, and I cannot be more relieved to have that behind us, but more importantly, I am so proud of my husband.  He finished this degree while enduring the regular day-to-day difficulties at his store, weathering a pregnant wife and birth of a second child, and all the while managed to be there every time I needed him.  He stressed, but it never put a huge strain on our marriage, and I never felt neglected in the two and half years this took.  He is truly an amazing man of God with a great future ahead of him.  I believe God is already in the works to use him for His mighty purposes to bring glory to His holy name.  I look forward to the adventures 2012 holds for Joey because I know God is just beginning to use his leadership of our family for great things.

And there you have it, the year in review, in a nutshell.  All praise to our heavenly Father who chooses to give His good and perfect gifts!  We are so unworthy, yet still He is faithful.  What a mighty God we serve.

May this season of celebration grace you with an expectancy in your life of all God is capable of accomplishing in just today and even more so in the tomorrows to come.

“May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 (NIV)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Joey, Jennifer, Savannah, & Weston

So the addendum is written over here if you haven't seen this post yet.....

September Smiles

 OK, I'm a little behind as always, but these pictures turned out too good not to share, so I'm recapping September for those who'd like to know...

Callaway Gardens with Mimi started our month in September.  Good times, good memories, and LOTS of new experiences and adventures=) 

 Do you see these kids???!!!  I mean, I've been blogging since Savannah was just a baby--look back in the archives--I just can't believe how big they've grown.  My mommy heart aches, but I am so proud of them, so unbelievably humbled that God has loaned them to me for this short time here on earth.

 Weston is my little chillin' man.  He's gonna break some hearts one day, and Savannah, well she's all joy as always--loving life and everything about it.  A trip to the HillCrest Apple Orchard was such a fun family outing.  Their first petting farm....

 Her favorite?  The kittens of course 

(I am HIGHLY allergic).

  Weston, well he wanted to put the animals down just as quickly as he had asked for them=)  The picture of him with the lamb below just makes me laugh.

 These are my two kids.  I pray they spend the rest of their lives experiencing adventures together in all this life has to offer.  The best of friends--this has been my prayer since they were born.  Next up, first pony rides and some photo ops with a bull...(Savannah is just so not a toddler anymore...she became a girl overnight...and yes, I know the bangs are hideous, but such is the growing pains of growing them out.)

 The many faces of Savannah, and I picked just a few for the blog....

  Told them both to make a funny face for this next picture...they both just make me laugh=)

 And last but certainly not least, September 29th brought us the blessed presence of my second first born niece for the 2011 year (seems our family is 3-0 for having first born girls)--Karis Laurie Harper is finally here and adorable.  Who would have thought our clan would ever turn out such a tiny little girl.  At 6lb 9oz, she's been the tiniest of us all.  Welcome baby girl=)  Guess Weston is just gonna have learn to live it up in a woman's world for now=) 

More thoughts in the works....hope you enjoyed the update though!