We're Moving--What It Looks Like to Follow

In December we got the phone call that made it official. Summer of 2021, our family would move back to Georgia.

We had known for over a year this was the direction we might be heading. We had talked about it in brief conversations, always putting it off for another day or month until we just couldn’t put it off any longer.

But that phone call made it very real and very permanent. This chapter is closing for our family and a new one is about to begin.

And before the well-meaning love and excitement of friends and family from the east coast begins to pour in, I need you all to know, I love you, but I don’t want to leave California.

A piece of my heart will always call Georgia home. It’s where the seeds of my faith, beliefs, and family values were planted, watered, and grown.  

But California is where my soul has sung a song I didn’t know I could sing. I have found an intimacy with my Jesus, my husband, my children, and my friendships I didn’t know was possible.

To leave the life we have built here is an act of pure, submitted obedience to how we feel the Lord is leading both Joey and I in our prayers and conversations with the Lord. We go where our God sends us, no questions asked, just trust.

It was the story of the sending of Abraham that moved us out here (Genesis 12), and it is the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac moving me back (Genesis 22).

Because I am not the same person returning as I was when I left. Seven years of my highest highs and lowest lows, of relying on my family of four, of learning to depend upon strangers who became family, of self-reflection and therapy and stretching myself—seven years of talking to God first and more because sometimes He was the only One around to listen. I am not who I was when I left, and my soul longs to stay. The calling of Abraham to sacrifice his promised heir and beloved son feels very relatable with this move. I feel I am being asked to sacrifice all the promises God fulfilled of my own dreams here in California, trusting He knows best and has better plans ahead.

I wanted California to be my Promised Land. I wanted to put down roots here and bask in the beauty of its coastlines, the wonder of the ocean, and majesty of the mountains for all my days. To live here is to have access to adventure and exploration every weekend for the rest of your life. On my down days, my low days, riding waves in the frigid ocean is refreshing, renewing, and rejuvenating. In the chill of the water, the weight of the world washes away, and I’m left like a child with the thrill of the moment right in front of me. I am fully present. Salt, wave, ocean, sunset, bonfire, my children playing, my framily laughing—fully present in the gifts of God in my life. Soaking them all into my being like the sunshine that is always present. Never wishing to be somewhere else.

I love my Peach State home, and in the fall, I will relish the crisp temperatures, the need for fuzzy sweaters, and the sound of leaves rustling. In the spring, I will smile at cherry blossoms and how the world comes alive with green. I will reconnect with family and find joy in the journey of high school for my children, but I’m not sure I will ever not wish to be somewhere else.

Part of me prays that’s not true, that the ache of leaving will fade, and part of me prays I can carry the weight of wanting because the people in California I will want to be with are that dear to me. For them to cease being a part of my life, feels like a death I cannot bear.

There is not a day that passes I don’t shed at least one small tear over saying goodbye, over last experiences here on the west coast, over a chapter in a book that is ending, and you just wish it weren’t. It was that good. It is that good. I’d reread it again and again.  

But there is a peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6). A peace that only comes from my Jesus Who abides with me daily. We already have a home. The Lord quite literally handed us the perfect house on a silver platter in the middle of downtown Marietta paying below appraisal. If that’s not a modern-day parting of the Red Sea in today’s real estate climate, I don’t know what is. The Lord has given us a peace and a path for sending our kids to Marietta City Schools for education next year. This will be their first experience with public school, and I covet your prayers for them and for me. Again, another choice covered in supernatural peace, shrouded in its own layers of the unknown.

It’s difficult to describe the inner tug-of-war inside my mind, but my soul is at peace. I rest assured God will not lead me anywhere He has not already been Himself, nor somewhere He will not go with me.

We are not told much about Abraham’s emotions, thoughts, or reactions as he made that trek to Mount Moriah with Isaac. Was he angry at God? Did he curse and mumble under his breath as he cut the wood for the sacrifice of his son? Did tears of great grief and fear fall from his eyes as his aged hands shakily packed the knife that would take his son? Did he set his course with eyes fixed full of hope knowing His God was true, no matter the cost? We don’t know.

And I think we don’t know because it doesn’t matter. Abraham’s emotions, reasons and thoughts were all secondary to his obedience. In the end, how he got to the point of obedience was not as important as the actual act of walking by faith and loving nothing on this earth more than he loved God.

I want that kind of faith and trust in Jesus as my legacy. I have screamed and wept and hoped also on this journey to leave California, but in the end, what will matter, what does matter, is our family will obey and follow in faith where the Lord leads, no matter the cost. I have no reason to believe my Jesus will not provide every step of the journey, one moment at a time. He has already gone before us. He has already made smooth so many rocky paths. He has remained true and so must I.

Like so many stories in the Bible, Abraham’s is not just a story, it’s an example to follow. It’s the instructions to life we so desperately seek, crave, and beg God to give. He already has. He’s given us all we need for life and godliness in the scriptures and the Holy Spirit, all made possible by the death and resurrection of his only begotten, beloved Son (2 Peter 1:3, 2 Timothy 3:16). Maybe one of the things I love most about my Jesus is He never asks me to walk the path of an experience He does not already know intimately Himself (Hebrews 4:15). The details may look different, but the emotions of the heart are the same. He knows what it takes to do what He asks from first-hand experience.

Why would I not follow? How could I ever think I have a better plan or better way? Where He goes, I go. His people will be my people, and His land my land (Ruth 1:16). ‘Til death we unite. To live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21). The older I get, the longer I follow, the more that phrase makes sense.

What do you choose to follow so passionately you willingly sacrifice all that is most dear to you? Is it worth it? My Jesus is always worth it.

Will You Follow?

I have believed many lies in my brief 30+ years on earth.  Some of them were taught to me, but I'm learning more and more that most of them are simply part of me, part of how I think, part of being human.  The lie that got my attention today is being a Christian should be easy, or at least easier.

Now where this lie originated (the devil!) in my life, I'm not sure.  Maybe it's been all the years of "I can do all things through Christ," or "with Christ living through you anything is possible," or "just lean on the Lord, He will get you through."  Now, there is truth in all of those statements, but when you've been a professing Christian since you were four years old, and it hasn't gotten easier yet?  As a matter of fact, I'd say it's actually gotten harder to live the Christian walk?  How do you make sense of it?  What's the truth?  What do you tell your children?  Because Lord knows I never want to knowingly lie to them!  How do you honestly convince people in general that this straight and narrow path is really worth it?

My girl had a tough go of it at school for a few days, bringing home yellow faces instead of green on her behavior card.  As soon as she would get in the car, she would break down into tears and just cry, "It's just so hard to obey, mommy!"  And I'd have to sigh and rub her leg and agree.  Yes, it is very hard to obey.

It's actually easier to choose to do the wrong thing.  In that moment in time when the wrong choice beckons you to follow down the crowded, wide path where everyone appears to be having a party, it is EXTREMELY difficult to choose the narrow road no one seems to be choosing.  And isn't that what every decision, EVERY decision boils down to?  In a split second of time, when your flesh is tugging you in one direction and the Spirit in the other, it is very hard to obey.

Here's the catch though.  Every decision comes with consequences, some positive, some negative, but every decision is followed by consequences.  Some consequences are immediate, be they positive or negative.  Some consequences fester in the heart and mind and soul over time and are played out in months and years to come, but every person reading should be assured that EVERY decision has consequences.

So the real decision in that moment should be, what consequences do I want?  Do I want the added calories and fat from the chocolate bar in the aisle which will not benefit me toward my weight loss goal?  Or do I want to forgo those calories and focus on the fact that my body is slowly getting into shape and I need to do whatever little bit I can to help it out?  See, the question really isn't do I want the candy bar?

The question is do I want the consequences of choosing the candy bar?

And teaching this, teaching this kind of thinking to our children is more than difficult. We live in a microwaveable, instantly downloadable, always accessible society. Instant results and answers have become the norm. Thinking about anything for any length of time or heaven forbid, actually having to spend time in a library doing actual hard-copy research has become antiquated and somewhat extinct. You have a question? You google it. You want a discount? You google search for that or download an app. You want a very specific thing of any sort? Google search and buy anything you can describe online. Instant gratification all the time, any time, from anywhere.

It's no wonder our children grow up thinking they deserve it all. They kinda have it all at their finger tips. It's no wonder they shy away from working hard for anything. They aren't required to work harder than what their fingers can search for on the internet. Yet this is the time and place that God chose for them live, and as a parent, I have to accept and embrace this fact, seeking the Lord for how to best guide them through this life, their world, our world.

Everything in our lives is either orchestrated by God or allowed by God. Argue the semantics of this all you want, but this truth is hard to swallow. Children die every day, leaving behind grieving parents, yet God is still a good God. That is a hard truth to believe. God is sovereign over all governing authorities. That is a hard truth to accept.

When you start to strip down to the bare bones of who God is, we mere humans are left with hard truths, hard paths, hard choices. And still the question will beckon, 'Will you follow Me?'

Will you follow Jesus when His ways are not your ways, when His choices are not your choices, when His politics don't align with your politics, when His definitions of things don't match your beliefs? Will you follow Him through the green meadows of life AND the fiery furnaces that feel a whole lot like Hell? Will you follow Jesus when you can't Google or study to find a suitable answer to your greatest questions? Will you follow Him when it makes absolutely no sense to do so other than He's calling?

At the beginning, in the middle, and at the end of all the hard roads, the only question you really have to answer, every second of every day, is: Will you follow?

And sometimes, most times, by faith, you say yes to that question for no.good.reason. I find as I get older I don't always have the right answers for everything, most things actually. I find I don't want to explain all the decisions I choose to make. (I should be ready to defend my choices, but not feel the need to publicly announce and justify my choices. Ahem--Facebook.)

The truth is living out the Christian life is hard, most days, most of the time. And while it might not get easier, I will say the perks are sweeter, and nothing quite compares to falling asleep every night knowing you are fully loved, fully accepted, and fully forgiven to live another day.

So to all the Timothy's in my life, the ones younger who for some reason think I might have an inkling of wisdom, I will truthfully tell you this: Choosing to follow Christ in a trusting relationship between you and Him is the hardest mission you will ever choose to accept. Which means it will also be the one with the greatest rewards when it's all said and done. And real Christians believe that truth and live that truth by faith alone, and there's really no amount of explaining that can make it make sense to a critical world. Only the Holy Spirit can do that.

So the question remains, will you follow? In good times and bad, for better or worse? Do you believe you are cherished enough by Jesus to trust Him no matter what? Because sometimes it IS just hard. Good thing the Man I choose to follow is the Creator and Sovereign Lord of the Universe. Talk to anyone. Life is hard regardless of who or what you choose to follow. Wouldn't you rather follow the Man who designed it all from the beginning of time anyway? I'm pretty sure He's the only one that knows the right path to take, even if it doesn't always make sense to me or the people around me.