I Run & Obstacle: Fear Conquering!

Ok, so about a year ago, I signed up for this crazy "race," but everyone who has "competed" knows that to finish is your only goal.  Tough Mudder calls it a "challenge" not a race.  Most people who peruse the link to the website will call you "insane."  I am here to testify, 'I AM INSANE!'

The race was located on the former GM proving grounds in Mesa, AZ.  Climbing over the torn up asphalt roads was conveniently part of our 12.5 mile course and was just an added perk to the 29 obstacles we were to complete.  I've included a few favorite pictures in this blog, but my cousin April and her sister-in-love Erin have already done an excellent job of blogging pictures and videos, so check those out for more context if you like=)

For me though, I must admit I was deeply terrified to complete this course.  I was most worried about holding back my team of 7 other super-fit friends because to be honest, I was the only one in our group who has had kids, and I just didn't have the time or energy to train how was necessary.  I won't give excuses, but I can admit I was not in the shape I needed to be for this race.  I knew it, and I was scared.  So scared, I'm pretty sure that's where my week-long blinding headache came from for the whole week before the race.

But ultimately it boiled down to conquering the fear.  Fear holds us back from accomplishing so much in this life.  Fear of making a wrong decision, so you don't make one.  Fear that the decision you just made was wrong, so you live in doubt and anxiety.  Fear of never trying anything, so your life will fade into oblivion without a blip on the radar.  Fear of trying things because you might fall flat on your face, fail, injure yourself, and/or make a complete fool of yourself.  Fear of this.  Fear of that. Fear, fear, fear!!!

If we were honest, especially as parents, we fight fear every day of our lives.  We battle with fear on the spiritual battleground hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute, decision by decision.  If you're like me, and you're always trying to extrapolate the final results of every decision 5 minutes to 5 years out, fear can be paralyzing, depressing, and ultimately become your prison.

God did not put me on earth to live paralyzed, depressed, and imprisoned.  So IN HIM ALONE, I claim movement, joy, and freedom(Galatians 5:1)--IN Him I live and breath and move have my being. (Acts 17:28) In Christ alone I will walk, I will run, I will jump, climb ten foot walls, shimmy through mud pits under barbwire, dunk myself into a bath of ice water, leap off 15 foot platforms into the 33 degree water below, hurl my body up a 15 foot half pipe trusting someone stronger will catch me, and maneuver my way through a maze of live wire enduring the 10,000 volts of electricity that shock my lower back feeling like a baseball bat has crashed into my spine.

Crazy?  Absolutely.  Insane? Positively commitable.  Would I do it again?  Bring it on! (It's taken me two weeks to write those last 3 words, but yes, I would do it again.)  Why?  Because when God provides for you through one of the most difficult things you've ever experienced (and I include childbirth in this category because their was no epidural to numb the pain), when you stumble across the finish line almost in tears out of pure relief, you come to a slow realization as your body relaxes and rewarms and reorients that YOU ARE STILL ALIVE!  Very much alive, actually.

Oh, you have a few bumps and scrapes, some seriously ugly bruises, and others that day (not in our group) left with twisted ligaments, displaced joints, and a few with broken bones--but no one died.  No, we all lived!  Really lived.  Fully lived.  And to fully live like that is the greatest, deepest feeling of accomplishment and true, utter joy I've experienced in life.  Some people say you get addicted to the adrenaline, and there's probably some truth in that, but it's also knowing, knowing for sure, without a doubt--I did that.  God did that.  Wow.  Look what we can do together.  Look what He can do through me.  Wow.

Everything I'm writing here is about a physical challenge, but if you look a little deeper, it also applies to our spiritual lives and walks with the Lord.  What is it you are afraid to accomplish?  To do? To try?  Is fear holding you back from fully living for the Lord?

 Are you taking the first steps?  I mean, I didn't get to the point where I could physically complete this "race" over night.  It's been over 2 years since my first 1 minute run down the street.  There's been multiple 5Ks, 10Ks, and half-marathons leading up to this point.  Where are you on the road to doing great things?  Are you following the Lord's leading in even the small things, so He can trust you with the bigger?  A principle from my BSF study this past week was God works step by step, not leap by leap.

Have you surrounded yourself with a team of people to help you accomplish your goal?  Because let me tell you, at mile 6 when my entire leg was cramping so bad it felt there was a moving creature running inside my leg from my butt cheek to my ankle, and all I could do was walk, I silently blessed my sweet husband for walking by my side and never making me feel less of a team mate for having to slow the pace.  I silently thanked the Lord for each member of my 8-person team who at one point or another shouted an encouraging word, offered a helping hand, took some time to walk by my side when I couldn't run, and just overall let me know, they didn't care I couldn't keep up.  It didn't matter in the end that I wasn't up to their fitness level, they just wanted me to finish with them.

And believe me, everyone of us openly admitted there would have been no finishing without a team to support you.  This was not a one man "race," and neither is our walk with the Lord.  It is a challenge for the body of Christ to love one another and get each other through to the end.  Leave no man behind.  Lift and push them over the walls of life.  Pull them out of the ice when the tunnel vision has set in and they can't move forward.  Encourage them through the tunnels and over the hay bales of life.  Pull them up when they are about to slip back down a slippery slope.  Jump together into the cold, dark water holes of life.

If you haven't surrounded yourself with these people, then honestly, you have a slim chance in Hades of making it out alive or making it at all.  Chances are you will simply give up, quit, and go home.  Then all the glory God could have gotten, all the joy He wants to give as He works through you is wasted and useless, and you will feel the weight of the shame.  Thank God for forgiveness and repentance, grace and second chances, but that still means you have to wait and start the race another day,from the beginning, working through some of the same challenges you had already faced--again.  So find the right people to help you through.  Find them, listen to them, encourage them in return, invest in their lives as well, build and honor those relationships, and run together.

Do life together because even Christ surrounded Himself with 12 loyal disciples.  Even He was in constant communion with His heavenly Father.  Jesus died absolutely, positively alone as the Father turned His back away from the sin that weighed on Christ's shoulders on the cross.  For a brief moment in time, Christ had to die utterly alone, so that we NEVER have to be alone, ever, not even for a moment because IN Christ we live and move and have our being. (Acts 17:28 but I also like Ephesians 2:4-10)  His very presence is even evident in nature. (Romans 1:20)  God's plan is not for us to be alone.  Alone with Him at times, maybe, but never completely alone.  Only Jesus had to suffer that horrible fate.  All for love of us.

So find those people and conquer those fears.  I challenge you to find something physical that seems insurmountable because God (obviously) has taught me so much through the analogies of the physical and spiritual life, and He will be faithful to carry and teach you as well.  Never be afraid to really live!  To fully live!  We serve a BIG GOD!  Amen.  There's nothing too difficult for Him=)

So, fear conquering in a nutshell...
1) Identify the fear and admit you are afraid.  There is no condemnation in Christ! (Romans 8:1)
2) Commit to overcoming the fear.  Sign up for that race, put down that non-refundable deposit on that mission trip, whatever it looks like for you--commit yourself!
3) Prepare.  This can be LOTS of prayer and scripture memory.  It may be more physical in a nature like training your body.  It could be doing your research and talking to the right people.  Whatever preparation looks like, put forth the best you can offer.
4) Surround yourself with the right people for support. Let me tell you, our two team-members standing on the sidelines with water, energy gels, and snacks during the "race," following us around from obstacle to obstacle, taking pictures and cheering us on were JUST as important as everyone actually doing the "race" with me.  Surrounding yourself with the right people can take many different forms, all of them vital.
5) Trust God. Period.  Only He is capable of defeating fear.  He holds all the power.  Trust Him!

Now live life fully and go conquer some fears!  Trust me.  It's exhilarating!!!

^{Romans 8: 37} No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I Run--The Day Of

What is it about the morning of a race that gets your blood pumping so early in the morning? I've been awake since 4:15am. Really didn't sleep much before that in expectation.  I've been here since it was dark. Thinking.  Praying.  Hoping.
As the athletes begin to pour in and set up, I can't help but begin to compare.  To feel less than. Inadequate.  Unprepared.
The sunlight begins to fill the sky and with each ounce of light being shed in the atmosphere, my heart begins to quicken and stomach churn. Can I really do this again?
What was I thinking? !?!?
Then my mind and heart remember.  I can't. But God can.
I pray silent prayers rebuking satan's attempts to chip away at my faith. How can he attack when I agree with him?  I am inadequate.  There is nothing in my own strength that will get me through the grueling 2 hours of racing other than the thought, 'God can.'
Maybe this is why I keep doing this.  Keep pushing myself.  Keep towing the line. Because when I'm in the middle of a race, I am precariously aware that my body, my life, is not my own.  In the middle of a race, all I do is hope and yearn and strain and push for the finish.  I am hyper aware of God's voice and presence and ever present help.
I like being that close to His presence. His self. His being.  I think that's why I keep coming back.
What race are you running? Are you still preparing for your race? Maybe life is hard and tedious, boring or sometimes pointless? Keep training. God is right there. He's about to show up in a real way.  Bet on it.
Are you in the middle of it yet?  Do you feel like you're about to give up, give in, give out? Don't!  Push a little harder. Focus a little narrower.  And listen. God is right there. Find strength in His presence, in His voice, in Him.
It's time to race. It's time to put your faith training to work. He won't fail you. He never does.
The Son is up. The finish is closer than you think. 

I Run-A Reflection: Goal 4!!!!

When was the last defining moment of your life? Were you fully present when it happened, or did you have to look back on that moment in time from a distance to realize it was a defining moment? When was the last time you set a big, hairy, audacious goal? (A BHAG as they’re called in the Chick-fil-A world=) A goal so lofty, you really weren’t sure if it was actually attainable, even feasible, but you went for it anyways? If/When that BHAG was realized, how did you feel? Are their words?

I’m not even sure I have the words. But this is my story…might want to settle in with a blanket by a fire for this one=)

This past Saturday, January 8th, 2011, I was fully present in time for the realization of one of the first BHAG’s I’ve probably ever set for myself--if I was honest. I crossed the finish line of the Disney Half Marathon with an official time of 2 hours 30 minutes and 31 seconds. 13.1 miles of careful training and God-breathed energy had passed under my feet. By my guesstimate, I walked maybe 2 miles or less only for the sake of taking in water or energy gels, then it was right back to running.

I’m serious when I tell you, there really are no words to explain to you how this made and still makes me feel. My eyes are welling with tears as I write this simple statement. I literally cried when I crossed the finish line. I’ve never pushed myself that hard for something I really felt so unprepared to accomplish. Heck, my longest training run was only 8.8 miles! How the heavens did I run 13.1????

There’s really only one answer. GOD. He orchestrated every circumstance before and during this race. He met me for the past 5 months of training for every run, through a week off due to a sinus infection, for a week off due to tendonitis in my hamstring, for time off just due to the holiday craziness. He remained faithful to sustain my spirit, my drive, and ultimately—on the day of the race, He sustained my body and my mind.

I had resigned myself going into this race that there was only one plan that could get me across the finish line alive. My plan was to run 3 miles and walk 1 mile until I reached that finish line. That was my plan of attack. I honestly felt my body could not physically endure 13.1 miles of solid running. I was being realistic and setting a goal I could reach. I would finish--THAT was the goal. Admittedly, inside I felt a bit defeated having to settle for this plan, but muscles were aching and cramping in my high mileage training such that I wasn’t going to risk really hurting myself. It seemed the wise thing to do. I trusted God just wanted me to finish.

Joey and I were the only ones of my family actually able to make it race day. My dear sister and brother-in-law Tim were holding down the fort back at their house with kids, for which I am eternally grateful because without their help, we couldn’t have done this.

2:30am came calling early as we carefully got dressed and headed down to the starting line. Mad props should be given to the Disney staff for their careful herding of 27,000 people. Four porta-potty breaks later, at 5am, the nerves were itchy, and we anxiously awaited the start. The first wave started at 5:30am, we didn’t actually get to start the race until 6am. Did I mention there were 27,000 people???

Not even ½ mile in, Joey and I were making a mad dash for the woods along with many others who had over hydrated themselves for this race. Men have it so easy—I was just hoping no one further back in the woods was getting a better show of my backside.

Fully relieved and ready to run, Joey said he would hang with me until I wanted to walk my first mile. I was feeling great and hitting a good stride, so I didn’t actually stop to take in my first round of water bottle and energy gels until mile 4. Joey went on ahead, so I was left alone, but I really felt so good, I decided it was time to see what God could do with me. Instead of walking to mile 5, I started running at mile 4.5.

Unbeknownst to me, Joey was having a tough time. A collision at a water station took him to all fours as he tried to cough all the PowerAde out of his lungs he had inhaled only to lose his iPod nano trying to recover and get back in the race. This set his pace off just enough that I actually caught back up with him at mile 8! Trust me…this is unbelievable, and truly God-ordained.
We ran together to mile 9, and I took a quick walking break to finish my water bottle and refuel with gels. I was tired. I won’t lie. Four more miles seemed like an eternity. BUT, Joey was with me. He decided that we would finish this race together. In hindsight, I can’t express how much that decision meant to me.

His knee was in excruciating pain, and by mile 11 my Achilles’ tendons and tendons in the bottom of my feet were cramping. I didn’t stop, but I almost tripped half a dozen times because when those muscles cramped it felt like someone was grabbing me and pulling my foot to the ground. Joey would say, “You’re doing good. Keep going! We’ve got this babe.” And I would bite my lip, and stomp my feet into the ground until the cramp let go, and I would keep going until it happened again.

By mile 12, I was on the verge of tears. I wanted to quit so badly. I wanted to walk the cramps away. I wanted to stop and stretch, but we were so close. Joey kept encouraging me. Kept reminding me of all the people we were finishing ahead of. (We finished in the top half of 27,000 people actually.)

The finish line finally in sight, Joey grabbed my hand and we slugged our way down the homestretch. There it was. A beautiful banner…FINISH LINE. With a stadium of cheering people looming behind it in the distance. Somehow, I think entering the gates of heaven will feel like this, and I can only wish that my best friend is holding my hand when we cross over that finish line together too.

Video of us crossing finish line--we cross on the right at about minute 2:58 on the clock--along with the marathon photos: http://www.asiorders.com/view_user_event.asp?EVENTID=74486&BIB=36751&PWD=

The last 10 yards we let go and sprinted—or what felt like sprinted, I’m sure it looked like a slow run—toward that final time ramp in the road. There were so many people. The rush. The noise. The panting. The whirring. The herding. His hand holding mine. His words gasping, “We did it. You did it! I’m so proud of you.” I’m doing the best I can, but these words don’t do it justice. I could have lost it completely in tears at that moment. Sobbed uncontrollably on the ground in the middle of these throngs of people. But Joey kept me focused on the next step, and together we made it to a quiet parking lot patch of asphalt where we could down bottles of PowerAde and help stretch each others’ muscles that were cramping sporadically.

It was finished!!! We did it!! God is so good! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that physically I was unprepared to run this race the way I did. I don’t care how committed to training I had been, this was the ultimate test. My physical break point. I WILL NOT be training for a marathon, in case anyone was wondering. 13.1 is my break point. However, I might do it again, especially at Disney. It was a very fast and flat race with plenty of entertainment as you ran through The Magic Kingdom and Epcot. My favorite part was the fanfare of trumpets as you ran through Cinderella’s Castle=)

Why even talk about the next thing? Some people would say I’m crazy. How do you top that experience? Well, I don’t, but God can. However, I have to follow His lead, follow His plan, and put in the hard work, effort, commitment, and perseverance it will take to get to that next BHAG. You have to have a dream, a goal, a vision. The Lord was wise when He recorded in His Word, “Where there is no vision, the people perish. (Proverbs 29:18a)” It’s true. If I don’t set another goal of some kind, be it physical or spiritual, then I promise you, I will slip quickly into depression and gain back the 25 pounds I’ve lost in a year. Trust me. It will happen.

So what’s next? I don’t know. This year, I definitely want to run the Peachtree for the first time, and complete one maybe two sprint triathlons. But this year, I’m setting other goals as well. If you can’t tell, my heart is to write. Write a book. A book that gets published. A published book that people actually want to read and benefit from reading. A book that impacts this world for Christ. Maybe even a best-seller? Too much of a BHAG? I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve ever announced this thought in a public arena. Fear already overtakes me, and doubt clouds my thoughts. Rejection and failure are also comrades that hide in the recesses of my mind when I think about this goal.

I don’t know. There’s still much training that the Lord must provide before this goal is realized. But one thing’s for sure, after this year and 3 months of physical training, I am more mentally and spiritually prepared now to face what it will take to meet this goal than I have ever been in my entire life. That is a God gift. That is how God works. You must follow Him through each step of His plan before you can even think about another one. I leave you with His Word spoken into my life for this New Year:

“12 NOT that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; 16however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained. 17Brethren, join in following my example (God's example, not my personal=), and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us.”

(Philippians 3)emphasis mine

What's your next BHAG? It took me 15 months to accomplish my first. Probably will take me 15 years to accomplish the 2nd, but hey, that makes the next 15 years worth living, right?

What about you?

I Run-Lesson Nine

Lesson Nine: God can.

Simple huh? While life lately has been anything but simple. I haven't written much because I haven't had the time to write. I'm still running, but ever since the Sprint Triathlon, I've also been recouping. Babying some injuries that needed some time and a little less stress. Now, starting tomorrow, it's time to kick back into gear.

January 8th, 2011--the Half Marathon looms dark and ominous in my future. Ha! The problem with this statement is, honestly, this is how I've been viewing it. There is nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero--nothing inside of me that wants to run this race, much less train for it. Period. To be perfectly transparent, I haven't truly decided how much of it I will actually commit to running. I guess the training schedule will tell. I'm discouraged and in a very negative place when I think about this race. Sigh.

Why you ask? I think I'm just afraid I can't do it. The other part of me is afraid I just don't want to do it bad enough. I'm scared of re-injuring myself or injuring something else. I'm afraid I will ultimately be disappointed with my performance. I'm just flat out scared.

So why do it? 1) I feel like it's the next step in my running journey, what God's called me to do. 2) On a personal level, I'd really like to get to a point where I could do more triathlons, definitely more sprints, but even more challenging, something inside of me gets excited about trying to complete an Olympic length triathlon. Running a Half Marathon is just stamina preparation for that next step in my training. 3) I've lost weight. I'm fitting into clothes 3 sizes smaller than I was last year. If that's not motivation to keep running, I'm not sure what is.

So where does that leave me? Continuing to run. Like the little train that could, chugging along, thinking, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." Except somewhere in the middle of my run, I realize, it's not helping. These thoughts aren't getting me through. They are not enough. Then I find myself repeating, "But God can. God can. God can. I KNOW He can." Suddenly my mileage for the day was almost done, and God did. And I trust that He will just continue to be my God of "can" because "can't" isn't gonna cut it anymore. Not with 13.1 miles ahead of me in January. I can't, but God can.

What can't you do, that God WILL do through you today?

I Run:Lesson Eight-Part 1

The latest lesson I’ve learned from my running (that never ceases to amaze me as to all the spiritual applications) is the difference between running in the heat versus running in the cold. I highly recommend all new runners beginning in the cold because running in the heat can be down right discouraging!

Lesson #8: The cold is a slow start with a fast finish. The heat is a fast start with a slow finish.

What does this mean? Well, for me, when I started running back in November 2009, I had to invest a decent amount of money in the right Cold Gear for running in 30-40 degree weather. The hardest part was getting started. It was almost like your body just didn’t want to get going, anything to not be exposed to the freezing air outside. Mentally, it was the same likeness to how you feel when trying to get in a cold pool—your whole body cringes, and you really, REALLY just don’t want to do it. By the time you can convince yourself to get going, your blood starts pumping, and as you heat up, the run actually begins to feel good. The colder the weather, for me, the stronger I finished my runs because it really felt good to be warm.

I liken this to someone, albeit myself at times, who is quite comfortable with where they are in life. They are in a warm, safe environment that isn’t really challenging them mentally, physically, or spiritually. They aren’t necessarily doing anything wrong, but they’re not really doing anything right either. They just are. They eat, sleep, and do every day exactly the same thing in the same way. If they’re Christians, this means you are probably going to church regularly, fairly consistent with your quiet times, and possibly even involved in Bible study or service opportunity. But what you’re NOT doing is listening to the nagging voice deep down inside you that keeps saying, “Isn’t there more? Isn’t there more to this life than just being? Take a risk! Do something different! Be all the God-creation God made you to be! Your Source of power is unlimited! Why are you settling for less than what could be?”

Now, there is a season for everything. And I honestly believe that God sends seasons of comfort, peace, and contentment because we need them. We often experience them at the end of some trauma or hardship or when we’ve reached a spiritual plateau, and we’re still forming the good habits of the Christian walk. We need these times and places, but we have a God who ultimately always calls us to more because He knows us best.

He knows that when we get too content, too at peace, and too comfortable, we begin to forget about the One who brought us to this pasture land. We begin to rely more and more on our own strength to get us through our contented days, and gradually, we move from contented to complacent. Nothing good comes from complacency, unless you consider pride, boredom, rebellion, selfishness, and laziness a list of admirable character qualities.

No--God eventually calls us to come walk on the water with Him. (Matthew 14) He wants us to sell all we have and follow Him. (Matthew 19) He challenges us to go cast out the demons, or preach to ALL the WORLD the good news of Jesus Christ. (Matthew 24) God is about big, hairy, audacious goals because He knows us best. He knows we always need more—something to attain. For where there is no vision, the people perish. (Proverbs 29:18) He’s a BIG God with so much to offer. We can set goals and chase Him our entire life and still need more, still be more. Why would anyone chase anything or anyone else? I know of nothing on this earth that has more to offer than God Himself. I challenge anyone to taste and see that the Lord is good that He has abundantly more to offer than you could ever think, dream, or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)

All that to say, listen to that small nagging voice…there is more. Be grateful for the time of rest God sends your way, but when the time comes and that small voice begins to ask again, “Isn’t there more to this life?” Do something different! Take a leap of faith! Grab onto God and run. It might be a slow start like a cold day, but I promise, you’ll warm up to the idea=)

I Run: A Reflection-Goal 3!

So, I know I complained A LOT about my training schedule for this sprint triathlon, but really, now that it's over, part of me wishes I had the time to train for another one. The race day was a REALLY fun experience=)

Here's all the girls at 5am, Sunday, August 8th in front of the transition area, getting ready. (Left to Right: Aunt Debbie, April, Amy, me, my mom)

I can't tell you how proud of my mom I am. If I'm still willing to step out of my box and conquer a physical challenge like this in 21 years, I will consider myself following the example of a great woman.

April and I have done a lot of life together over the years. She has been my inspiration to get fit, and my #1 coach/encourager/physician through this whole year really. Especially for this race. She listened to me cry on the other end of a phone too often. Love her to death! Check out her blog for all the race details/specifics.

The swim was a little insane, and this picture a little embarrassing, but hey, love the skin your in, right? I finished the 400 yards in 8 minutes 23 seconds. Pretty darn good if I do say so myself. I was fortunate I didn't get disqualified for dunking people while they were trying to grab and drown me there at the end=)

The 13.1 bike ride was uneventful, and slightly discouraging as everyone flew past me on their road bikes. Definitely an investment I will be considering for my next race. But I finished at 57 minutes 38 seconds, so my goal was under an hour, so I was pleased.

Now it was time for my least favorite...the 5K run. And I will admit, I was struggling. I even had to relent and walk some of it...not much, but some because every time I tried to catch my breath, I would start to cough, and I could never get in a rhythm. Not to mention it was hot as blazes!!! There are small, inner parts of me that regret not being able to run the whole thing the entire time, but I guess that just gives me a goal for my next one, next year=) Still, 35 minutes and 51 seconds is not that far off from my 5K race time.

If you are ever in need of a picture of pure joy, these would be good ones. A finish line never looked so beautiful.

We did it! We all did it. Each of us had our own personal obstacles to overcome. Each of us had our own reasons for training and completing the race, but we did it. Together. It's actually a really cool event when you think about it. When you think about our ages (scrawled on the back of our calves), the point in our lives where each of us was racing from, the camaraderie that was shared by all. It was such a HUGE accomplishment for everyone. Well, maybe not April...she is the Fit Queen, but I think it meant a lot to her to do it with all of us too=)

And so it was over. Three long hard months of training six days a week ended in 1 hour 45 minutes and 41 seconds. I struggled for a bit there after. There was a sense of let down. Like, this is it? What next? For a moment, satan tried to steal my joy by whispering those not-so-innocent lies of, "That's it, huh? It's all downhill from here. What can you accomplish now compared to this?" LIES!

I found myself wallowing for a brief moment in time, listening to these lies. But was soon and quickly reminded that there's always more! God always has more! His challenges for this lifetime are endless. We, as a society, as a people, always want more. As with all things, this can be bad, but I'm learning it can be good too. When what you want more of is directed at things of God, at experiences that will draw you closer to Him, you find everything and all and more than you can even imagine.

A sprint triathlon is the least of my challenges God has left for me on this earth. Raising two godly children in a falling world ranks pretty darn close to impossible on some days. Staying faithfully committed to one man in a marriage that seeks to honor the Lord and lead by example is a goal that is attacked every day in some ways. Running this race for the glory of God, pointing others to Him, experiencing every challenge with the grit and determination it takes to finish the race, and finish well, and finish strong--these are the challenges that keep me going. This is the correlation I need to make to my running journey to keep me focused and alert and alive and living each day to see His holiness and goodness all around me. There will always be another challenge. There's always a race that needs to be run. The spark inside never has to die. God always has more.

When's your next race? And where will it be taking you?

I Run: Lesson Seven

Lesson Seven: Sickness requires a different response than injury.

I know, this seems obvious, right? But here's what I'm learning. Injury can be forgotten, sometimes ignored, covered up, treated mildy, treated with physical therapy, a change in attitude, by learning to forgive daily, and a whole host of other treatments I won't go into. Sickness on the other hand, creeps up on you slowly. It starts effecting you from the inside out, from the very cells inside your body, and once the virus or bacteria is in full force, there's no denying or escaping the fact that you are sick. Everything inside of you knows it...feels it.

My poison? Diagnosis: viral asthmatic bronchitis....fancy words for a really bad cold that gives you an even worse chest cough. Not to mention, the fever! Holy cow the fever! I've literally been hot, then cold, then sweaty every 30 minutes today. Joey's been like this for 3 days, so I'm assuming I'm not over the hump yet. Every joint aches, every movement makes me wince, and I don't mind sweating during exercise, but just all of a sudden soaking through your clothes unexpectedly is really unpleasant. Unlike injury, sickness attacks at your most vulnerable spot and works it way out into your whole body, into your whole life.

Sickness is a soul condition.

Injury is that person in your life this seems impossible to love, those biting words someone cut you with, that scar that you wear that every time you see it, you are reminded of the past. These are the daily "thorns in the flesh" if you will (2 Corinthians 12:7). Small reminders to stay humble, forgive, accept forgiveness, forget with God's help, and move on. Keep going.

Sickness, on the other hand, stops you in your tracks. Sickness is the feverish fear that has you shaking in your boots, unable to move forward, unable to take a risk, unable to trust God.

Sickness is the deep ache of depression. So deep, you feel almost paralyzed. People can see the ache in your eyes, hear it in your voice, but no one knows just how hard it is to inhale the saving breath of grace.

Sickness is the piercing joint pain of loneliness and abandonment. It keeps you from moving freely into relationships, it holds you back from accepting the love of others and opening yourself up to new possibilities. This pain of loneliness ironically keeps others from being able to touch you, even though that's what you so desperately need the most. A soothing hand of comfort and assurance.

Sickness....any sickness, all sickness....is a soul issue. Only God holds the curing salve for a sick soul.

So what do you do? Unlike injury, sickness demands rest. It demands that you lay down in the bed of God's Word and allow His Psalms and exhortations and promises to wrap your feverish fear in hope and sovereignty and the challenge of a life worth living--HIS way.

Sickness demands that you take your aching depression before the Father in prayer and pour out your broken soul to Him in tears. The bottle He keeps them in is beautiful and precious to Him (Psalm 56:8).Only he can bring forth beauty from the ashes (Isaiah 61:1-3). Only He offers true joy, contentment, and fulfillment, soothing those deep aches.

Sickness demands that you take the piercing pains of loneliness and abandonment before the feet of our Lord. In exchange for a mind stayed on Him, He promises perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3). To heal loneliness, you must replace the holes, the emptiness in your soul with His promises. He says He will NEVER leave or forsake you (Joshua 1:5). If these words are not on your mind daily, part of your life daily, then the sickness will only worsen. You must meditate, marinate in these words.

The only thing we as mere humans can do to heal ourselves is believe and trust and follow a God who is greater than ourselves, all-powerful, all-knowing, the one and only Creator of the Universe, who in one breath spoke life into being, who in one blink of an eyelash can heal my broken soul, my broken heart, my broken life.

All praise be to the Jehovah Rapha, the God who Heals!!! May this sick little clay pot bring Him glory even in the midst of my brokenness. May my shortcomings reflect His mercy. May my failures reflect His grace. May my sickness reflect His healing. My my attitude reflect His heart. I cannot complain...I believe God works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

I believe that.

And tomorrow is another day, another chance to rest in God's goodness and reflect on His purposes. My race day will come, and my God will be my Defender and my Deliverer. He will carry me through the sand, over the finish line, leaving only His footprints behind. So should it be. So should it be.

28“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.

30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11

A promise, a calling, a presciption from Jesus' own mouth. What more are we looking for in this world? What other answer do we need? He says He will GIVE all this! All we have to do is COME. That's the simplest training tip I've ever had to follow=)

I Run:Lesson Six

So, now I run, I swim, AND I bike. I love incorporating the other sports, but the training schedule is brutal. I'll be honest....I will be VERY glad when August 8th has come and gone and the finish line is behind me. In the meantime, I'm having to buckle down and learn how to work through one of my most difficult lessons yet.

Lesson Six: Injury is inevitable. How you respond to the injury says more about your character and faith in God than anything else.

My injury....plantar fasciitis in BOTH feet. What does this feel like? Well, back in mid-June, I'm pretty sure it all started with some sort of torn ligament in my right foot. This felt like knives sticking into the side and arch of my foot every time a stepped. That went away, but was replaced by a dull, throbbing ache in the mid-arch of my foot, tender to the touch. This dull ache has never gone completely away. For a month, I lived in pain. I don't think I really realized how much it was affecting me physically and mentally until I just broke down one night and cried and cried and cried.

Now in the running world, this type of injury--I'm finding--is referred to as "Plantar," but you must emphasize the word and say it with contempt like a pirate would say, "Arrgh!" Got the picture? Every runner I know sympathizes, and they all offer advice, but really it just boils down to a simple matter-of-fact: the only cure is rest. Rest. For someone in the middle of training for a race, this word is like a death sentence. I would love to rest. I would gladly rest, but I have a race to finish. A goal to meet. A call to heed.

Now everyone has "injuries" in life with which we must deal--mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. Some are like my "Plantar", constant, just under the surface, distraction causes the pain to fade, but at the end of the day sometimes you just have to cry yourself to sleep. Other "injuries" are more public. Maybe you bleed for all to see, or there's a scar that you just can't cover up. Regardless, of what your injury looks like or feels like, it's there, and you have to deal with it.

Now, I don't know enough to argue whether a sinful world is the cause of our injuries, our sinful selves, or God gives us injuries to test us. An argument could be made for all, I think. Fact is probably somewhere in the mix of all of these lies the truth. Regardless of the why, I do believe that God's sovereignty allows these things to happen, just as much as he protects us from other circumstances. Again, why? We will have to ask Him that one day, but I suspect, as in all things, He just wants us to depend on Him and not ourselves. He knows that our only true fulfilment, peace, clarity, success, and protection comes from being dependent upon Him--completely.

I took a cortisone shot in each foot to help me continue training to finish this race. I HATE needles. I wanted to run out of that podiatrist office and never run again. I wanted to give up. But, it was almost like an out-of-body experience, or I should say an in-body God experience. I looked the doctor in the eye and said, "Give me the shots." I felt God's hands on top of my clinched ones as the burning liquid filled my feet. I felt a peace, even as the tears trickled from the corners of my eyes. This is what I was called to do.

You must be willing to make the sacrifices needed when following what God has called you to do.

How do you respond to "injury"? What is your pattern of response when things get difficult? Do you quit? Do you try to find a way out? Another path? Do you doubt God's calling? Do you ask yourself, "Did God really say that, or was it just me?" Do you try to change your circumstances instead of riding out the storm? OR

Do you grin and bear it? Do you pray and go before the Lord and seek His face and beg for strength and wisdom and endurance? Do you push through because God's original calling was a true one, a wise one, and to doubt now would only make you weaker, expose your belly to the enemy? Do you educate yourself? Do you follow the Great Physician's instructions?

How do you respond? And what does that response say about your character and your faith in God?

For me, it means I rest more. Instead of barreling stubbornly through my training program despite it all, I consider my ways. I listen to my body and the Holy Spirit more acutely. I cut back on my running, but I still run. I still swim. I still bike. I train harder on my pilates video to strengthen the core of body to help support the rest of me, to hopefully prevent more injury. I follow my doctor's instructions: stretching, icing, Rx ibuprofen. I pray daily and speak against the enemy of fear. I tell myself and prepare mentally that if I have to walk....it's ok. I will finish. God is my Redeemer, my Healer, my Coach. He would not call me to complete anything He has not already equipped me to accomplish.

2 Timothy 3: "10 You (my readers), however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, 11 persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch(5k training), Iconium(10K training) and Lystra(Sprint Tri training), the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them.

12 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,

13 while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting

and training in righteousness, 17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Sometimes it helps to make scripture truly personal, so you can literally see God in your daily life. Now, in no way does my small experiences of running and training compare to the persecutions some of you face on a daily basis. But if I find these promises to be true in my own life, in what is a seemingly meaningless daily venture...then Oh! How much more will our Big God make this true in your own life for the truly unbearable injuries???

Keep running. Keep training. Keep believing God. No matter what.

I Run: A Reflection-Goal 2!

So, it’s been a while since I’ve written about my running. To be honest, nothing much has changed. Everything I’ve written to date applies pretty much consistently across the board. I cycle through up and down phases of training, but in the end, God always motivates me to complete my goal.

Monday, May 31st at 7:30am, I started goal #2: a 10K race….6.214 miles to be exact. This was so much harder to train for than I expected, so I had serious concerns about actually being able to run this entire race.

(My biggest fan, Joey, accompanied me to the race and took all the glorious pictures you see here=) If it wasn't for his encouragement and coaching, I don't think I'd even have been able to do this. There were so many mornings when he literally would just gently encourage me to get up and go run "just 2 or 3 miles"--"do what you can" he'd always say. Inevitably I would always pound out the 4, 5, or even 6, just because he knew me well enough that if he could prod me to get me up and moving, I'd accomplish my goal. You are more appreciated than you'll ever know, babe. Thanks for always being there for me!)

So, back to the race.....10K, lots of hard training, feeling insecure...

My concerns were only heightened as the rain began to POUR five minutes after the race began. And I mean pour—rain steadily and heavily for the next 35 minutes of the race. For me, that was pretty much the entire first lap. It rained so much that I had issues seeing where I was going and actually breathing because of the amount of water flowing over my face. But, praise God, I never stopped running. I would have been so disappointed if I had.

(I told you I was not a pretty runner...and here is proof!)

So with lap one complete and the rain letting up, I now faced the joy of running in sopping wet tennis shoes and soaked, body-hugging clothing. Now, I won’t lie, I enjoyed the fact that this kept me cool, and I really never broke a sweat. If I did, I couldn’t tell the difference between sweat and excess water run-off=) However, the added weight of wet clothing was a concern and having to spend a little extra energy avoiding large puddles on the road did slow me down a bit.
Nevertheless, 1 hour and 6 minutes later, God got me across the finish line having never stopped running once! It was the best feeling in the world to complete that race. I actually felt like I could have kept going, I had energy to spare, and part of me wished I had kicked my pace up a notch the last mile instead of just the last ¼ of a mile. But no regrets! My goal was always to finish and finish faster than 1 hour and 10 minutes, so I was pleased.

(Joey calls this my "game face"...I was actually determined to sprint across the finish line, thereby passing the elderly gentleman who had managed to stay in front of me the entire race...Ha!)

I wish I could explain, for the benefit of those who read and who are thinking about racing or doing anything that seems difficult or just down right impossible, how amazing it felt to cross that finish line. Yes, the training was miserable. Yes, the training lasted way longer than the actual race, but crossing that finish line!!! There is nothing in this life more satisfying and fulfilling than working hard to meet a goal, making the needed sacrifices to complete a task, beating your body and mind into submission to heed a higher calling.

Nothing is more satisfying.

(And of course, all runners do it for the T-shirt=)

And this applies across the board, across the entire spectrum of life. I keep writing that it’s not just about running. It’s not just about getting my body back in shape. This journey is teaching me about THE Journey. This Journey with Christ. This adventure He has called us to live. Most days of our lives—let’s be honest—are kinda like training. There’s the monotony, the misery, and the “maybe some other time” days. But then there’s the race! The test, the event, the experience that makes it all worth while. The good decision made that reaps great reward, only after countless hours of prayer. The person you were able to help see Christ or encourage in just the right moment, but only because you had been putting in the weeks of steady study in God’s Word. That moment in an argument when you were able to take a deep breath and refocus instead of blowing up in rage, only because for months you’ve been diligently meditating on Christ and His influence on your life.

There just simply is nothing more satisfying.

So where do I go from here? Bring on the Sprint Triathlon, baby! I am pumped about this! August 8th the majority of the women in my family will hopefully join me to complete the PT Solutions Acworth Women’s Sprint Tri at Lake Altoona. (Ladies who read, if you're interested, sign up and come swim, bike, run with us!!!!) Then again on September 18th, Joey and I will complete our first Sprint Tri together in Gainesville, GA. After that, well, I’m signing up for the Disney Half Marathon, but I’m not fully committed to how much will actually get run—only time and training will tell=)

Never be afraid to take the next step toward the next goal. Even if you don’t complete it—and 99% of the time you will—remember you’re in the majority just for trying.

Nothing is more satisfying…I promise=)

I Run: Lesson Five

Lesson Five: For God is able to do and accomplish immeasurably more than we can even hope to think, imagine, or comprehend.



Today I ran six miles. A complete loop around my community. Not re-lapping or passing anything twice. An entire loop of six miles of sweat, controlled breathing, and small inward prayers, "Dear Lord get me home." And He did.



Six miles people! Are you kidding me? Now that I've done it, I shake my head and wonder how in the world did that happen? That was the longest run, covering more ground than I can even comprehend. An hour and a half--give or take--of running. Up and down steep hills, long, gruelling, gradual hills, and winding roads. Somewhere around mile three my inner thighs began to burn from chapping, but I figured (rightly, by the way) it would hurt worse to stop and walk than to keep going through the dull, constant, rubbing, heated pain. I started, and I finished, and I sit amazed at the wonder of a God who enables our frail, fleshly bag of bones to be able to accomplish this feat.



Six miles. Now I know I can do it. Now I dread doing it again. I still hate to run. The thought of covering that distance again, on another day, is daunting, tiring, and I truly deeply dread it. But I will do it again...Lord willing, I will do it again.



Why? Because this is the path He's put me on. This is the task He has set before me. There are lessons to be learned, words to be typed, and thoughts to be shared. I run because He asks me to--no other reason. No deep theological thoughts to share, just encouragement for the weary. This seems to be my niche in life--to remind people to stay the course and keep going. The task at hand soon fades in comparison to the call of the Master on your life. Be encouraged!

"20Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, 21to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians3:19-21

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Galatians 2:20

When you run this far for this long, at some point in your run, between the counting of breaths and the gritting of teeth and the forgetting of pain of chapped inner thighs, you lose yourself in the knowledge that only God can carry you home. You have no strength of your own left to give, only a determined heart and mind, a willingness to hang on and hang in there--to have faith-- because your Personal Trainer tells you, "It's worth it. Run." Listen to His voice--it's worth it.

I Run: Lesson Four

So one would think that when you finish a 5K (3.1 miles), you would be halfway in your training to a 10K (6.2 miles) correct? Wrong!

Lesson Four: Pride goeth before a fall. Or in my case, a fall short. (Proverbs 16:18)

It's funny how pride sneaks up on you. How one day your praising God for being able to run for 5 minutes straight then as some time passes you suddenly find yourself thinking, "Hey, I ran that 5K in a pretty decent time. It's ok if I take a little break (like four days!), and cheat just a little on my diet during that time. I mean come on, I ran 5.4 miles last time I ran. I met and exceeded my 5K expectations for time. It won't be that big of a deal." Wrong, wrong, wrong! Did any of you catch the evil that is pride in any of that train of thought? I, I, I...me, me, me. There was no consulting what God would want me to do. I just assumed He'd help me out like he had in the past. I pridefully assumed. You know what they say about assuming....

Like I'm something special enough to just assume God was going to get me back up and running those 5.4 miles even when I blatantly didn't discuss this four day binge of a break with Him. When I was lazy and sat around watching television shows I had no business watching and eating an entire half-bag of chocolate chips that I had no business eating. Yeah, I deserve to be able to run that 5.4 miles, right? So, so, so very wrong. First time out, I floundered through 4.2 miles, having to walk run the last mile. Second time out, I only ran 3.8 and still had to walk some of that. Seriously?!?!?!

So where does that leave me? What does one do when they find themselves humbled by barely being able to complete a 4.2 mile run when they were clearly able to do more before? You start over. You humble your precious little self before the Lord and beg forgiveness. You swallow the consequences of eating your big slice of humble pie, and you go back to the original plan. You go back to your training, and you start over....from the beginning. With a different goal in mind, mind you. I'm no longer training for a 5K. My 10K is May 31st. I have two months to whip this sorry little rear into gear and start depending on God again to get me across the finish line because at this point in time, I'm seriously doubting my abilities.

That's one of the biggest downsides to getting caught up in pride, I think. It's not having to start over. It's not even having to admit your were wrong and ask God to get you back up and going again. It's dealing with the discouragement of knowing, "I've been here before. I use to be able to do this. What is my problem?" That's the most difficult part--having to fight the mind battles, the spiritual attacks, the plague of self-doubt because being prideful leaves you unguarded and unprotected from the enemy. You get ahead of yourself and God in your race to the finish, and when you fall, satan jumps out of the bushes where he's been lurking all along.

So tomorrow, I start over. Oh, how many times in my life I have had to start over! I have to go back to the training program, get back on my diet, and oh yeah, because my goal is a little loftier, it also requires more wisdom and self-discipline than the last goal. Sound familiar? To whom much is given, much is required, right? (Luke 12:48) So now, with the heat of the day increasing, I need to diligently be hydrating myself, which is VERY hard to do. As much as I HATE needles, I would almost gladly insert a fluids IV attached to my body because that has GOT to be easier than trying to drink 64 oz. of water a day. But such is life, right? Every new possibility, goal, dream, desire requires new sacrifices, new things you "have" to do in order to make those ideas a reality.

But most importantly, now that I'm humbled back where I need to be, God will go with me. Oh, I know He never left my side before, but I'm pretty sure He took a step or two back, rolled His eyes at me, and grimaced when I fell. I know because sometimes I have to do that with my own kids...it's the only way they learn. So I've learned...again....and here we go...together again because forgiveness is the helping hand up everyone needs along life's way.

I Run: A Reflection-Goal 1

I run. I ran. I keep running. Life is a string of moments in training. My life is simple compared to some, but filled with more meaning and purpose than others. I don't drive to work every day. I drive the wheel of a house in constant need of attention. I don't save lives, but I do mold them, and pray every day that I make the right decisions--that I teach them to make the right choices. I don't attend a million meetings or answer a million phone calls, but I do attend to every cry for help and answer every question I can. I don't have a place I go every day to serve other people, I am serving generations to come by investing in my children. If I can teach them to serve, then I have touched many. These are the things of which I remind myself when the days run together from one load of laundry to the next and every now and then I wish she wouldn't say "Mommy" so many times in a row. But then I remind myself that one day she may not say "Mommy" quite so much anymore, and the heart aches again, and I remember, take a deep breath, and keep going. Keep running.

I run for many reasons. I reached my first goal this past Saturday morning by completing a 5K race in 31 minutes 45 seconds! This was MUCH faster than I have EVER run in any of my training. I was amazed. I was speechless as I willed my feet up that last steep hill toward the finish line. I was overcome with emotion as I thought about four months ago and the panting and heaving that took place after only three minutes of running. I was deeply grateful to my Lord for sticking by me. I could feel Him running with me. I could hear His voice on that uphill climb as my heart was beating out of my chest at the pace I was keeping, "Keep going! You can do this! I'm right here." I'm not sure I have the words to tell you how I feel.

So I keep running. It's not just a health goal anymore; it's a life lesson. The daily perseverance it takes to stick to a training program is the daily perseverance it takes to live this life for the Lord. To raise Godly children. To be a respectful wife. To adore my God as Father and be His good child. IT'S NOT EASY. There are days I fall short--I don't run. There are days I get sick--I don't run. There are days--I just don't want to keep going. Does any of this sound familiar? Satan is blinding and binding this generation with the lie that life can be easy--that hard work isn't necessary--that delayed gratification brings nothing more than a delay. LIES! All lies. I watch my younger brothers and sisters in Christ struggle. I wonder what the future holds for my children. I pray daily that they will learn to run. Not walk, not lolly-gag, not meander, but run.

To beat Satan in this world you can't window shop for his wares. This generation doesn't have the leisure of playing with fire and not getting burned because there is no fire anymore. Satan has wrapped everything in media-filled packages of light and warmth and ease. On the side of the box of his toys the advertising reads: "Do what you want when you want how you want." "No work required." "Difficulties not included." And people are buying and buying and buying and drowning and drowning and drowning in their own misery because the way of the Cross is narrow and hard and filled with self-sacrifice.

But OH! The fullness of purpose, the peace of knowing, the joy of life really lived! The wares our Lord sells have NO PRICE. So we don't understand them. We can't put a number of value to them, so we shy away from what we can't be sure of. We can't confine His ways in earthly time, so we pass it up for something we can schedule, wrap our brain around, and write in our calendars. Why is it that just because we can't quantify something, we believe it has no value? When more often than not, the things that have eternal value often cannot be quantified--their quality, their pricelessness is what makes them more valuable than a number can label.

These are the things I ponder as I run. These are the musings of my brain as I fold laundry and change diapers. When another day passes by, and I feel like I have made no progress, I remember that every little moment counts, just like every little minute of time ran over the past four months added up to a successful 3.1 miles run. Equaled a pant size and a half lost. Equals 15 pounds of weight I no longer carry. Equals hope for future accomplishments. If just a minute, an added 30 seconds a day over just four months of time can equal this, what will a decade of moments spent training my children, pointing them to God's word through prayer over a meal or a Bible story at bedtime, faithfully disciplining and teaching the importance of obedience, and talking every day about God and this wonderful world He has made for them--what will all these tiny moments add up to? How will God use my children? Only time will tell.

And so I run. I show them that every day, though seemingly monotonous and routine on the surface, serves a greater long-term purpose in God's plan. That sticking to a plan, no matter how long it takes, will accomplish great goals. I'm only 1 mile away after all in my training from running a 10K...6.2 miles! Who would have thought? So my encouragement? Keep running. Keep reading God's word. Keep doing whatever the 'next thing' it is that God has set before you. Keep going, keep persevering, then after a good amount of time has passed, stop...look back, reflect...and see what the Lord has done. My guess is that it will surprise and overwhelm you with gratefulness. Just keep running.

So I am thankful...my heart is full of thanks:
1. For a God who runs with me.
2. For a husband who runs with us both.
3. For an inheritance of generations of God-seeking family.
4. That God chose to bless me with one girl and one boy--to continue the generations of His blessing.
5. That my daffodils bloom every spring with bowed yellow heads to the sun.

I Run: Lesson Three

A dear friend of mine posted this on her blog the other day:

"God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength." Oswald Chambers.

I was reminded again of this truth in church this morning when the pastor incorporated an old favorite verse of mine:

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3-5

Lesson Three: Nike said it best with their slogan years ago, "Just Do It."

Period. End of sentence. No excuses. No looking back. No second guessing.

I've been slacking lately. January is always a slightly depressing time of the year for me. I've never been able to put a finger on exactly why, but nevertheless, it is what it is. So, I've managed to do my running every other day, but I've totally not done my cross-training on the days in between, and there's even been a few times where I went two days in between runs. I don't know why...all I can tell you is it's a mental thing. The bottom line is I've just lost a little steam. I've lost some motivation. Don't get me wrong. I'm seeing results...VERY SLOWLY...but results nonetheless. The biggest motivation should be the amount of energy I get from exercising; it's like getting a shot of adrenaline for the rest of your day. But still, my motivation as waned.

I have a whole shpiel about motivation and where and how it comes from, etc., but the bottom line for all people is motivation comes from the Lord and from Him only. Whether intrinsically motivated or externally motivated, everyone is motivated by a means that God chooses. I have found that actually taking the time to have my quiet time is equivalent to exercising for the day--an adrenaline rush for your spiritual life, which overflows into all other areas of your life.

That being said, I've discovered that doing your quiet time, just like completing any other task in life that is good and right, just has to be done. Just do it. Why don't we do the things we know we are suppose to do? I guess it's just an age old battle that will keep going until our bodies return to the dust they came from. Paul said it best: Romans 7:15 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." It's a daily battle that can only be overcome with prayer and petition and time spent with our Lord. The heart, the mind, and the soul--the spiritual--is the real source of our daily power. We can truly only go so long without plugging into that Source of Power before we just can't operate anymore.

So for now...I press on. "The strength is in the strain." "Perseverance produces proven character." "Faith lies on the other side of fear." All of these quotes I know to be true. I've lived experiences that prove them. "Lord, fill me with Yourself in such a way that there is nothing left of me to get in my own way. May I not be content until I have stopped to hear Your voice speak into my life and feel Your hand take mine to guide me along the way. Run with me, Lord. I can't do this life without You."

By the way, the 5K I was suppose to run at seminar got canceled this week, so I am looking for a good one to run in--SOON--back home. It's hard to wrap my head around training for a 10K until I've completed a 5K. I don't know why...it just is. Me and my type-A self must accomplish tasks=) Please pray that I can stay the course. I'm at a point where these personal goals are more important than just losing weight. It's about completing what I believe God has set before me. A challenge I must trust Him to help me through. It keeps the monotony of wifely duties from consuming my soul, which helps me appreciate those duties on a different level with a focus that is more sharpening and attuned to the needs of my family. I don't really understand why this works this way right now in my life. I just know it to be true, so please pray that I will stay the course. May you all be encouraged to just stay the course too!

I Run: Lesson Two

So, tonight I went running in the mist. Mist is deceiving. It didn't look like it would be hard, but after the first lap around the neighborhood, my lungs and my clothing were beginning to feel the weight of the water that was accumulating. Hmmm...I could do a whole blog on just these spiritual implications, but this was not what God spoke this evening. You see, this was a hard run. Not only was I really feeling the precipitation, but it seemed like my stomach, body, clothing--everything in general--was just heavier tonight. Ever have those days, when life is just heavier--for no particular reason--just heavier? Anyway, I knew I was capable of doing two laps around my neighborhood--2.8 miles, about 8 iPod songs, approximately 30-35 minutes. But tonight, I just wasn't feeling it. I was feeling heavy, and I REALLY wanted to give up.

Lesson Two: Listen to and obey the still small voice of the Lord. Don't second guess, don't make excuses, don't give up, like Nike says--Just do it.

Somewhere in the middle of song eight, as my breathing became labored, my vision a little blurry, I was thinking, 'This is it. My body is telling me to stop. I need to be wise and not push myself so hard.' That's when I heard the voice, "Keep going through song 9. I will get you through song 9." What! I wasn't even to the end of song 8 yet! I mean, I was hurting, out of breath, making the turn to go up a long, gradual slope. No way! I was delusional, I needed to stop before Joey had to get in the car and come find me passed out on the side of the road in the dark in the mist. But no, the voice was firm, "You can make it through song 9. Don't stop."

So I didn't stop. I fought the cramp creeping into my side. I slowed my pace, controlled my breathing, and gritted my teeth. I wasn't finished with song 8 yet, and the uphill slope still lay ahead. Song 9 came on--"Romans" by Jennifer Knapp. I couldn't believe it. Not only was this song only about 3 minutes long instead of the average 4 minutes, but it has a slower, slightly perky beat with an upbeat, understated message about God being in control. First lines of the song: "Just when I think I got it / It's gone. When I think I know the answer / And I dare to raise my hand / it's gone." How fitting.

I mean after almost eight weeks of running, I guess I was starting to feel like I had this whole running thing down pat. I little pride probably did begin to sink in. All it took was a little mist to bring me to my breaking point. The good news--all it took was a little obedience to get me right back into the game. Humbled back right where I need to be, and in awe of a God that once again cares about the songs on my iPod.

I'm telling you, the moment that song 9 began to play, my whole body responded differently. I felt myself catch my breath, no longer winded. I felt a spring in my step, no longer heavy and labored. I almost felt like I could run forever as I rounded the crest of my uphill slope and kept going...because even though the top of that hill was my goal, God had said He would get me through song 9. I would be a fool not to follow through at this point.

The moral of this story? When God speaks, you must obey. It wasn't easy, and it really wasn't what I wanted to do at all in the moment He spoke. I mean, I still had to run two more minutes of song 8 before song 9 even began to play. Sometimes God gives us a word from Him right in the middle of something really hard in our lives. It seems like the most inopportune time for Him to be giving you instructions. Maybe you're thinking, 'There's no way I can handle one more responsibility, one more thing on my to-do list.' I'm just hear to say, at that point, you have two choices. Obey or disobey. Keep going, buckle down, and grit out your current circumstances until song 9 begins to play, then when it does, keep going still. Or...disobey. Stop running, don't meet your potential, don't give God a chance to come through for you, and most likely you'll be right back where you started when you first started running--sore, aching, out of breath. Only now, you feel like a failure, AND you missed out on seeing God work in your life. When put like that, the hardship of obeying sounds a lot easier, actually, at least in the long run.

Plus, just look what I got to experience once song 9 started! A fresh wind, renewed strength, joy in my step, and the experience of running farther than I had run before. I ended up having nothing to lose--like consciousness, like I originally thought---and gained so much more, like energy and a humbleness in the provision of my God. I gained trust in my Lord, a childlike faith that He will provide for my needs, but I must obey. The other choice just really isn't much of one at all.

The challenge: Identify the small voice in your life. What is God telling you to do? In what area(s) is He requiring obedience? Choose to obey, then let me know what good God brings about in your life, even if it's only something small. Any good is better than the consequences of disobedience. "Trust and obey / there is no other way / to be happy in Jesus / but to trust and obey."

I Run: Lesson One

So, I'm running twenty-eight minutes now in my training schedule. Kinda hard to believe, I know. It's been what? Six weeks since I started? I'm not even sure where to begin trying to explain or put into words all that God is teaching me. Every time I come home from a run, I have to take another quick jog to my computer just to jot down more lessons and thoughts that He's given me on what seems like a never-ending list.

Lesson one, though, is the thought I consistently have most often. You've heard it before, but let me see if I can expound. Lesson number one: God always provides exactly what you need--always--especially, in the greatest moment of your need.

For example, when I run, I time myself by songs on my iPod. Keeping a running addition of the song times in my head is just one more thing I can focus my attention on other than the pain=) Now, the playlist I listen to is titled "WorkOut Music" and is a compilation of any and all music I've purchased that is upbeat, inspiring, or dance-able. I am a fan of all music genres, so this playlist includes upbeat music from Christian, rock, alternative, techno, country, and pop music, and since the music plays in random order, I never really know what I'm going to be listening to next.

It never ceases to amaze me, the music that God chooses for my runs. Once, I went running in the rain, and right at the hardest point of my run, the song "Praise You In The Storm" by Casting Crowns plays over my earphones. Talk about encouragement to keep going! God always seems to provide slower pace or fun songs when I need to settle into my run and persevere, then He never ceases to provide high-energy, pavement pounders for those last five minutes when you just think your lungs are going to explode and your legs fall off.

Then there was Thanksgiving. You see I had to take a break from my running schedule for three whole days because I was sick the Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of Thanksgiving--convenient right? No exercise and LOTS of food, so I was really worried I wouldn't be able to pick up with my 22 minute run after three days off. I wish I could name all the songs that played in a row that Saturday! It was one inspirational Christian song after another. Right when I felt I couldn't make it another step, a Toby Mac jam would begin to play, and I would feel my body keep pace. Not only did I run the whole 22 minutes that Saturday, but I crushed a huge hill right at the end of my workout as well, and I don't remember the song, but I do remember feeling this rush of praise, as I opened my arms wide at the end of that run, and sang aloud to the music for the whole world to hear. I didn't care...God had given me a music line-up that called for nothing less than pure praise and exhilaration.

Such a little thing--songs on an iPod--why would God care? Because He cares about me, and He teaches me in this that He will provide exactly what I need in my greatest moment of need.

Now this is Christian teaching 101. This is the lesson that every pastor, preacher, teacher, and evangelist tries to get across to the saved and the lost alike. That God never fails you. He is always there, and He's on your side, cheering for you. All you have to do is take that first step of faith, right?

Well, as simple as this sounds, the problem comes in that it is so hard to believe, much less actually live like you believe it. Honestly, I'm not sure there are many areas in my life where I personally challenge myself enough to see if this is true. Because, you see, in order for God to provide for you, you have to be willing to put yourself in the position to actually need something. Now, let's be honest, in this everything's-at-your-fingertips society we live in called the Great USA, how many of us actually really need anything? And if you get away from the physical, and start talking spiritual, how many of us actually challenge ourselves outside of the comfort of Sunday morning, Christian music, and Bible studies to really put feet and hands to God's Word? How many of us tell ourselves that inviting our next door neighbor to church would be awkward or weird or an intrusion into their lives? I do. Something so simple, and yet I'm afraid that God can't meet my need to not be rejected. That even if I am rejected or condemned, do I really believe God can't meet me in that moment and fill the void with His peace and comfort? Something so simple people! I ask you again, do you ever really put yourself in a position to need?

On top of that, how many of us are in a position of greatest need? I define this as the point you reach where you have lost or are enable or believe you have lost or believe you are enable to have or take control of the situation. Complete loss of control means there's no one else available to step in except for God. I could go on, but I'm feeling this is a good stopping point. Maybe God will give me more examples to expound upon "greatest need" in another run.

So I leave you with this...what can you do today to put yourself in God's hands and let Him provide for your needs? Now I'm not talking about something you feel you need. For most of us, our view of our needs is very basic, carnal, and fleshly compared to God's view of our needs. You see, His goal is to get us into an intimate relationship with Him, so He is more concerned with our character, you know the inner you...the person on the inside that most of us are too afraid to show to the outside world? That is the person in us that needs God the most. The you on the inside is the you God wants to show to the outside--that's the you that will impact this world for Christ. The problem is, at least for me, that my inner me is WAY needier than my outer me. Just the idea of making the inner me vulnerable to the opinions of those around me scares me to death. So ultimately what do I do? Truthfully? What do you do? We hide the real us, which basically means we don't trust God to meet our needs of acceptance, strength, encouragement, whatever. We are still making the outside us fit what we think the world wants to see instead of being the inside us who God called us to be. Sad really--how many of us live in a cage most of us don't even realize we've created. Heck...99% of the time, I don't realize I keep myself locked in this cage...and I'm the one God has called to write this blog!

So the challenge: 1) I run. You need to find something in your life to do that will make you think, make you work, and put you in a place of true inner need. That's where you will find the inner child that is so mailable and teachable--the place where you and God can be so tender together.

What can you start doing today? Anything at all! Even if it's setting your mind to waking up at a certain time EVERY day or completing a specific task EVERY day. Pick something that maybe you've really wanted to do for yourself for a long time...something that will have long term benefits. For some it might be brushing your teeth...hahaha...I jest, but some of you out there are terrified of the dentist for this very reason:) Take the first step, then watch because God will show up...in ways you were least expecting. So tell me, what have you decided to do every day, trusting God that He will meet you in this activity?