I Run-Lesson Nine

Lesson Nine: God can.

Simple huh? While life lately has been anything but simple. I haven't written much because I haven't had the time to write. I'm still running, but ever since the Sprint Triathlon, I've also been recouping. Babying some injuries that needed some time and a little less stress. Now, starting tomorrow, it's time to kick back into gear.

January 8th, 2011--the Half Marathon looms dark and ominous in my future. Ha! The problem with this statement is, honestly, this is how I've been viewing it. There is nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero--nothing inside of me that wants to run this race, much less train for it. Period. To be perfectly transparent, I haven't truly decided how much of it I will actually commit to running. I guess the training schedule will tell. I'm discouraged and in a very negative place when I think about this race. Sigh.

Why you ask? I think I'm just afraid I can't do it. The other part of me is afraid I just don't want to do it bad enough. I'm scared of re-injuring myself or injuring something else. I'm afraid I will ultimately be disappointed with my performance. I'm just flat out scared.

So why do it? 1) I feel like it's the next step in my running journey, what God's called me to do. 2) On a personal level, I'd really like to get to a point where I could do more triathlons, definitely more sprints, but even more challenging, something inside of me gets excited about trying to complete an Olympic length triathlon. Running a Half Marathon is just stamina preparation for that next step in my training. 3) I've lost weight. I'm fitting into clothes 3 sizes smaller than I was last year. If that's not motivation to keep running, I'm not sure what is.

So where does that leave me? Continuing to run. Like the little train that could, chugging along, thinking, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." Except somewhere in the middle of my run, I realize, it's not helping. These thoughts aren't getting me through. They are not enough. Then I find myself repeating, "But God can. God can. God can. I KNOW He can." Suddenly my mileage for the day was almost done, and God did. And I trust that He will just continue to be my God of "can" because "can't" isn't gonna cut it anymore. Not with 13.1 miles ahead of me in January. I can't, but God can.

What can't you do, that God WILL do through you today?