Saturday, January 16, 2010

Sweet and Sour

(Blowing bubbles, and that sweet smile=) )
Well, let me begin with Weston. He's well. He's sweet. He's five months old and weighs 20 pounds! He loves his jumpy seat and his bottle--not such a big fan of his solid foods, but he's cruising right on through all of them. His attention span is so much greater than Savannah's ever was, so it's so much fun to watch him really study, play, and enjoy all his toys. We're still working on rolling over, but he will get it soon. In the meantime, I am just completely enjoying his laid back attitude and sweet, sweet smile that just melts your heart. Oh, and he's started blowing bubbles too, which is so cute with his little half-smile, but mostly it's still just drool and spit-up still coming out. As the doctor said the other day, "He's as mellow as she (Savannah) is energetic." To which I promptly replied, "Thank the Lord!" (After eating prunes for the first time.)(He thinks Savannah is the most amusing thing in his whole world.)
Because Savannah, oh my sweet Savannah, has hit her terrible twos full stride. Her mouth never stops, literally. Her curiosity and independence is insatiable, and she is a people magnet. She's cute and she knows it. I could sit and listen and watch her all day and be exhausted just doing that. The hardest part about this stage right now is one minute she's being adorable and the next she's disobeying and demanding her own way. The sweet and sour of my day is disciplining and praising. Quite often I move directly from one into the other at the blink of an eye.
(Bathtime with "brudder".)
I'm terribly afraid that in the midst of it all, I've become "that" mom with "that" kid at her preschool. She only goes two days a week, but since the first of the year, I've sent her to school with pull-ups for boys, shoes that won't stay on her feet, two left feet shoes (one brown, one black), and it doesn't help my "that" mom look that I can't seem to get a drop of make-up on before I load both kids in the car to be at school by 9a, so I come walking in every day haggard and frumpy like I just got out of bed, when literally I've been trying to feed two, potty train one, and keep two dogs from messing in the house all morning. Sigh...I can only hope that no one judges a book by it's cover. Ha! Yeah right.

Doesn't help that Savannah bit someone in her class last Tuesday, then proceeded to be part of the pushing-gang on Thursday. Sigh....my first experiences of disciplining after the fact when we got home went remarkably well, all things considered. Savannah was extremely repentant about the biting, and I'm 99% sure, I left an impression with her to be sure she will NEVER attempt that again. (As her teacher said, every child usually has to try it once.) We had a long talk about the pushing as well, and I think I finally got through to her. I guess we will see when I pick her up on Tuesday next week.
(My little mommy.)
In the meantime, as a result of her actions at school, I've really started hammering home on the immediate obedience factor. My daughter is the queen of stalling, distracting, changing the subject, or sticking to the subject repeatedly if needed. I often find myself sucked into her games and distracted myself from getting her to obey. No more. I have a new found single-mindedness in making her respond with "Yes ma'am" and promptly obey, and if she chooses not to obey then I am immediate in the discipline, no matter how small the task. This is hard, but I've decided if I can't get her to immediately obey me the first time I ask her to do something, how can even hope that she will obey her teachers at school. Molding such a strong will and magnetic personality without igniting a spark of rebellion or crushing a sweet spirit is a daunting task. "Lord give me wisdom...LOTS of it. Help me to discipline in love, not in anger, and be consistent to teach her what is right."

Examples: I tell Savannah, "Please get down from the stool." Savannah responds in one of several ways. 1) "Huh?"--complete ignorance, as if she didn't understand me 2) "No wanna get down, mommy."--defiance 3) "Mommy, need my duice, pease."--subtle distraction using good manners to butter me up 4) "Mommy, what's that?--blatant distraction, pointing at nothing in particular 5) She doesn't respond at all and just kinda freezes in the act. I mean, seriously? I often end up repeating the command five times before I realize what I'm doing! No more...the expectation is she gets told once, and then I expect to hear a "yes ma'am" and see some obedience. Anything else must be disciplined because I'm convinced she knows exactly what she's doing. Don't you?
(Classic. Oh, and that's a HandyMan magazine nonetheless.)
She has also learned the fine art of manipulation. We started potty training last Thursday because when a child brings you her diaper and says, "Mommy, need change me." It's time. Because she does go to school and because we are on the go so much, this is going to be a longer, more drawn out process than most people tell me it takes. I'm fully prepared to still be changing messed outfits until school is out, but the bottom line is I'm determined. No turning back at this point. However, Savannah has quickly discovered that using the potty is a fine way of getting out of LOTS of things...like finishing her breakfast, sitting in time-out, etc. For now, she's learned that anytime she says, "Mommy! Need go potty!" I quickly jump into action and whisk her away to the nearest toilet; therein, she gets to get out of doing or not doing something she does or does not want to do. I always promptly return her to the task, and she usually always goes tinkle just a little, but regardless, it's frustrating to know you are being taken advantage of by a two year old.

Like when I was rocking her at bedtime the other night. "Savannah, what song do you want to sing?" "Sing ABC's mommy." "No, mommy doesn't want to sing ABC's. How 'bout Jesus?" She cocks her head at me, and in the most nonchalant, whatever voice you can imagine, she says, "Daddy do it." To which I then promptly begin singing the alphabet song. Ouch! I just couldn't stand up to being compared to Joey and falling short. Sheesh...she's good....too good.

With all her recent faults, she is still a joy of a child with a sweet, sensitive spirit to her. Like the other day, when I literally lost my mind. (Joey can attest.) It was just one of those days, and I was freaking out, crying to everyone that called my house and just kinda losing it in general. I was crying on the phone with my mom when Savannah comes around the corner of the kitchen with her rocking chair. She sits down in the chair right in front of me, holds out her arms, and says, "Come here, mommy, I hold you." My heart melts. My mom hangs up because how can I not respond to that? I kneel down in front of my little girl and let her place her arms around my neck and pull me in, rocking me back and forth in her little chair while she pats my back. I wouldn't trade that moment for all the money, success, fame, or power in the world.

Then the other night, when I look at her and say, "You know I love you, Savannah?" And she promptly responds with a big smile, very assuredly as if she knows it's very true, "Yes. Bery much." Yes, very much indeed =)

5 comments:

Alicia said...

I can sympathize right now! Tristan is my laid back one and Evelyn is the energetic defiant one. She's been such the handful lately. I had one of those days this week too and Brad took one look at me and told that I needed to get out of this house now!!! Praying for you!

Brittany said...

oh my...that Savannah!! Although the boys are almost a year older, I am going through a lot of the same things!! By the way...anytime you feel bad about how you look when you drop Savannah off at school, just find me and most days I'll look about the same as you do!! I'm just happy to get them dressed, fed and to school on time!!

Christen said...

Those pictures of Savannah feeding her baby doll and reading on the potty are hilarious!
It's so great how God sends us those sweet moments just when we need them!

Kathleen said...

love the one of Savannah on the potty! classic :)

Im praying for you and the whole discipline thing..I can't relate yet with my own but I do have 17 six year olds that I TRY to keep in line at school. :) Just keep doing what you're doing cuz I know you're doing a great job!! :)

Lisa B. said...

Oh, Jennifer! I completely understand the whole trying to teach obedience and disciplining while trying not to squash the strong-willed, energetic personality! We have been working on this with Grace for awhile now and it can be so hard to be consistent. Both of us find ourselves repeating things before realizing that's what we're doing and that she's not obeying for the exact same reasons that you do with Savannah - lol! I'll be praying for you as you train up this sweet, energetic little girl :)