So...

(Weston at the beginning of the month...)

Well, much has been happening in the the Durham household since August 12th, hence my inability to sit at a computer for any length of time=( I miss blogging, but it will come in time, so for now, I will settle for a quick update and some fun pics for you to enjoy.

(Mommy's little helper...putting socks back on that she took off=)

I am doing fine. I struggled this past six weeks with the decision of quitting breastfeeding AGAIN. I don't know why this decision bothers me so much on some level. I struggle so much with feelings of guilt and being a bad mother, not being super-mom or some nonsense like that. Anyway, the bottom line and truth is: I am a better mother when I bottle feed. I get more rest. I feel more relaxed being able to see and control the amount of food my child is receiving. I am able to travel more freely and more often, and I don't have a child clinging to me ALL the time!

(Brother's rarely happy, but we're still holding out hope=)

In the past few days, I've been reflecting on that last reason. Joey and I discovered after my first pregnancy that I go into a mode known as "touch overload." Now, if you are familiar with the Five Love Languages by Gary Smalley, you will know what I'm talking about. The love language of "physical touch" doesn't even register on my scale of love languages. It's so far removed from me, I don't even care to acknowledge it as one=) However, as God would see fit to grow us all, Joey's #1 love language is physical touch. Sigh...God does have a sense of humor...I digress...

(Never happier than when there's a cell phone in hand!)

Anyhoo...so when I am breastfeeding, my "touch" monitor is off the charts, to the point where I can't hardly stand for anyone else, including my poor needs-touch husband, to even hug me...seriously. The thought of someone else hugging me (during the six weeks I'm breastfeeding) literally makes me cringe. It's all I can do not to physically grimace when Joey gives me a kiss on the cheek during this phase. We learned from the first pregnancy, so this time around, Joey actually would ask permission to hug or kiss me...Yikes! And the worst part...there were times I said NO! Needless to say, in hindsight, I think that reason alone is good enough for me to stop breastfeeding as soon as possible. Pumping is not a problem, but actually having a kid attached to me every other hour of the day...not to mention I still have a two year old, remember?...well, I am just one of those moms that needs to breastfeed for the recommended six weeks then get out as quickly as I can.

(Weston still not happy, but trying...)

That whole shpiel right there is enough to describe kinda what our household has been like these past seven weeks. I've been pumping since five weeks out when we found out Weston had reflux. After the 3am jaunt of trying to feed this arched-back screamer where he almost ripped my nipple off with his uncannily strong hands, and I almost tossed him across the room...I decided pumping was the next best option. He should be completely weaned onto formula in the next two to three weeks. (Sigh of relief!) The reflux meds seem to be working, and as you can see from the pictures, he's not suffering any weight loss! By my estimate he's almost 13 pounds at seven weeks! Unfortunately, reflux does make for an unhappy baby, hence why he looks miserable or is crying in almost every picture. Although, I'm not completely convinced that some of that is just part of his personality. Only time will tell....

(Weston at the end of the month...he's a chunker! Happy now because he's sleeping.)

We celebrated Joey's 32nd birthday with all of our family this past weekend. It was a huge get-together with both Joey's side of the family and mine. I had over 22 people in my tiny home plus four kids, so it was jam-packed, but so much fun. I loved every minute. I think Joey appreciated the time as well. It was a nice break from school which has been brutal this course, work which has been even more brutal with some tough people turnovers happening all at once, and just home life in general these days adjusting to two kids, a crying infant, and a constantly worn-out wife. He really has been taking the hits from every angle...not to mention he's currently playing the insurance game with meds and shots in order to hopefully get approved for an MRI in the next month or so. Doctor thinks he may have a partially torn rotator cuff, so on top of everything else in his life, he has to live it all in pain. Geez...he is an incredible man who I respect more and more every day, and I pray daily that God will just bless his socks off through this all because he is showing incredible fortitude and faith through it all. I love him so much!

(Savannah loves Samson. He puts up with her pretty well I think.)

Savannah, of course, is our little Joy. She is something really special. She loves her little brother so much...no issues with jealousy thus far, she just wants to be held as much as possible, which we try to accommodate. "I hold you" is a phrase we can't get away from these days, but nor do we want to. My favorite thing of all that she says right now: Every time I walk into her room, no matter what I'm wearing, she smiles real big, cocks her head sideways, and says with all sincerity, "Ahhh, mommy. I yike yo dreeesss." Melts me every time=)

(See! I do have eyes...and I'm not crying! Yay! It's because I love my MiMi=)

So...the Durham household is surviving. We're alive and doing pretty well. Things continue to improve as Weston continues to stretch his night time feedings...we are currently at an 8 hour stretch. Bed time at 8pm, eats at 3-4am, eats again at 7am. Not bad. Please continue to pray for my energy, Weston's reflux and overall disposition to improve, Joey's everything, and for Savannah to stay well! God is good. I love my family!