"Because I Said So"

I have been participating in Bible Study Fellowship for over one year now, and it is changing the way I view life because it is opening my eyes to the pages of Scripture like I have never seen before.  God is meeting me daily in the pages of His Word. He is fitting together pieces of my spiritual puzzle.

This year, in the book of Acts & Hebrews, He is sewing together the Old Testament and the New.  Explaining the old covenant, so I can better understand the new covenant Jesus set in place by His death and resurrection.  I am finding answers to age old questions that have been deep in my heart.  And let me be honest, I've been in church and been a professing Christian since I was four years old.  There have been seasons in my life where I seriously wondered was there anything more?  Is there anything new God can teach me that I haven't already read?  I mean, I've read the Bible through cover to cover at least ten times or more.  I am constantly reminded of good things I need to remember, daily instructions for living I need to be prompted to apply.  But something new?  Fresh?  Mind altering?  I've read it all before, and yet....

God is still surprising me by blessing my socks off with the depth of what is in His Word!!!
I mean, I've read Hebrews a thousand times.  My life verse comes from this book of the Bible (see signature below).  But this year, under this style of structured study through BSF, I am understanding Hebrews.  God is lifting a veil off my eyes of understanding, and people, I am REJOICING in the words I am reading!!  What a mighty God we serve!

But let me tell you something...it is HARD WORK.  I am laboring over study questions, begging God to give me the right answers, and He is faithful.  (Just another fine example of how hard work and perseverance pays off ten times more than taking the easy way out, but I digress, this is a soap box for another day for the audience of a younger generation=)

So in our small group this past week, one of the more seasoned ladies in the group, throws her hands up and sighs, saying, "You know.  I am doing the best I can with these questions, but sometimes, I just want to write down the answer, 'Because God says so.' Isn't that what our parents always said? Sometimes that just needs to be good enough."

I found myself biting my tongue and squirming in my seat a bit.  Right then was not the time or place to take issue with this respective elder over what I thought.  You see, I have always had an issue with this "because I said so" answer.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I have given this answer to my children before, but a majority of the time, I have given this answer out of exasperation, frustration, lack of time, energy, or let's be honest, my own knowledge on the subject matter.  As a parent, all of these are wrong motivations for giving this answer.  As a child or younger adult receiving this 'because I told you so' answer backed by these motivations, I always found myself indignant, frustrated, and ready to buck the system.

When a child asks a question, 'because I said so' shouldn't be the go-to response, but only the answer after careful consideration.

'Because I said so' is the answer you give when the answer is too mature for the child's understanding, when the child is in danger and a prompt response is required, or when the answer to the question can only be learned through trust and experience--faith, not basic knowledge, a character building moment.  These are just some examples as to when this answer is acceptable.  Because sometimes God asks this of us.  Sometimes He sits on His throne in heaven, and we cry out, "Why God?!  Why obey?  Why love this person?  Why go here?  Why do that?  Why?!!"

And in the moments when He needs to teach us to trust Him to have faith in Him and His work, He says, "Because I said so."  And we either submit to His will and are blessed, or we rebel against Him and are hindered.  Hebrews 11 is a whole chapter of people who did things just because God said so.  Abraham probably being the best example of them all.  He followed God into the desert, never knowing a permanent home his entire life.  He was willing to sacrifice the son promised by God, and I'm pretty sure (someone, correct me if I'm wrong), I can't find a single place in the Bible where he asked why or what or how or when.  He just went, and I guess God really never had to say "because I said so," but in a way I think Abraham probably implied it.  And Abraham's faith was credited to him as an example of great righteousness throughout God's Word.

And then there are the times when life is too mysterious, too overwhelming, too much, and we cry out, "Why God?!!  Why did this happen?  Why did you allow this?  Why?!!!"  And we in our state of despair, and our weak state of emotion, clarity clouded, we cannot handle God's answer right then.  His wisdom would be too much for us to bear.  So in His wisdom, He says, "Because I said so."  And He pulls us close in comfort, and He allows time to pass and wounds to heal before He begins to open our eyes to the real answer to our question.

Don't you know Job had to feel this way?  Except, here's a perfect example of a man who cried out to God with many questions and got many answers in return.  God isn't afraid of our questions, nor do I believe the questions themselves anger Him, but it is the attitude behind our questions sometimes, our true motive that can cause us to sin.  Don't you know the difference between your child's heart-felt, inquisitive, seeking questions and his or her petty, sarcastic, or ridiculous ones?  Doesn't God?

I am finding that more times than not, when we ask God questions, He gives us answers.  His Word spells it out for us.   Why obey?  Why share?  Why spread the Good News?  Why believe in Christ? Why be content?  Why not covet?  Why not lust?  I could continue to give a long list of examples, but I'm hoping people are following me here.  Moses asked lots of questions.  He gave lots of excuses for why he shouldn't serve and do the Lord's will as well, but ultimately God has an answer for every excuse he gave, even to the point God burned with anger against Moses, but He still answered him. (Exodus 4:13-14)

So God answered and will answer a lot of questions when asked.  If my parenting is to be a shadow, a picture, to my children of how God interacts in our lives, then I need to answer my children when they ask real questions because most of the time God answers me.  I need to give them a logical, a scientific, a reasonable, or most importantly a Biblical answer to as many questions as I can, even if I get to the point of burning with anger.  Unfortunately as sinful, human parents, this is the point where most of us sin and begin screaming or ignoring or throwing out the "because I said so's"; God in His infinite perfection can burn with anger, answer us, and still not sin.  Amazing.  Yet He WILL answer.

Because what I'm finding in life is there is a reason for everything.  God is not a God of chaos--spontaneity (or what we perceive in our limited human view as spontaneous), maybe, at times, but not of chaos.  So if nothing is chaos then everything has a purpose to fulfill a reason to be.

So when my children ask me questions, I always try to give them an appropriate answer.  Yes, I might have to take a deep breath and roll my eyes and try to explain something that is completely over their heads.  But it's an answer, and a correct one.  Yes, indefinitely, I often have to look at them and say, "I don't know.  I will have to think about that and get back with you."  But at least that is an honest answer.

It's not unusual for a conversation in our house to look like this in one thousand different forms:
"Savannah, please go get your coat on."   "Why Mama?"  "Because it's cold outside, and I need you to obey me."  "Why Mama?"  "Because the Bible says children need to obey their parents because this is the right thing to do.  God will bless you."  "What is 'bless' like Mama?"  "Bless means to make God happy.  He will smile on you." Careful look of thought crosses her face.  "OK, Mama."  And off she goes to put on her coat.  Were we late and rushing out the door?  Yes.  Did everything inside of me scream to say "because I said so!"? Yes!  Would I have missed a teachable moment?  Most definitely.  Does this happen all the time every time in our house?  Unfortunately not, but if my children seem to bug you with their questions sometimes, it's because I do try my best to answer them.  To teach them.  Because the only real gift I can offer my children is my time and attention, and if I can't give them that, if other things, places, and people are always more important, then I feel I have missed my personal calling with my children.

And then, on that teachable occasion when my attitude is right and the question arises where the answer is too mature or too much or my child's attitude is inappropriate or the question is petty, sarcastic, or ridiculous or the circumstance begs for immediate obedience in that moment, I can calmly and firmly answer, "Because I said so."  And my prayer is that my children trust me because I've proven faithful before to answer all their other questions, I pray that in this moment, they trust and obey that Mama knows best, and maybe later when the time is right, she will explain the reason.  Or maybe I won't, and they will have to be OK with that too.

You see, God is so busy in my life right now, answering so many questions in my life through His Word, that I believe when a time comes, and I turn to Him and cry out, "Why Lord?!", and He answers, "Because I said so." I will have no choice but to close my mouth and submit to His will because He has proven Himself faithful over and over and over again in so many other ways.  Why not this question too?