Since the completion of the half marathon, I have struggled with feelings of idleness and a sense of no purpose. The realization of a goal comes with such a height of celebration and ceremony, but no one prepares you for the reality of life the next day. A day with no goal. A day with no purpose in sight…yet.
Oh, I haven’t sunk into the depths of depression, at least not far. And giving up running is not a new solution, but in striving for that adventure, it has now become part of the fabric of my life. I can’t stop running. For lots of reasons, but mainly because God has woven that exercise into a part of who I am. Physical fitness will always mean something more to me than just being healthy. God has taught me that it is a parable, a very experiential image in my life that reminds me of what God can do with me, through me, if He’s allowed to be God. If I trust Him for something bigger than myself.
So running is now another thread woven into my life. I still have goals, races I’d like to complete, but it’s not THE goal anymore. It’s like reading your Bible. It’s become a necessary part of how to live my Christian life.
With that realization in this past month has come the never ending black hole of “what’s next?” I know where my heart lies. I know what my desires long to do, but I also have a family that requires the best of me as well. We are only human. We can’t give 100% to everything. And at times like these, I hear the Spirit whisper, “But God can.”
And yet, I am still here. In a neutral zone, wandering, waiting in the desert for God to lead me out, and I’m ok with that. I’m taking time to appreciate the streams of living water He is sending my direction. Here are just a few…..my prayer is that they may encourage your soul, the way they have encouraged and challenged mine.
Isaiah 43:1 “But now, this is what the Lord says—He who created you, oh (Jennifer), He who formed you, oh (Jennifer); ‘Fear not for I am with you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.’”
God is active and passionate! Even in His silence, there is a sense of expectance—something is about to happen—whether discipline, forgiveness, or joy—He is about to give. Always giving, always working. (Gleanings from my BSF study in the past month.)
(More gleanings…) We must open our eyes and let God’s completed action register in our heart and minds. When we stop to ponder and have regard that He has completed a new thing in our lives and we benefit from this, even in all the suffering, then you have a new appreciation for His ways in how He chooses to deliver us from not just our enemies, but our sin.
Quotes from Chick-fil-A Seminar this past month:
Pastor Charles Carter: “True friends will become your advocate long before they are ever tempted to become your judge.”
Patrick Lencioni, Leadership Guru: “Human beings don’t resist change. They resist loss.”
“I don’t have control over the circumstances in life that happen to me, but I do get to choose how I will respond to the circumstances in life. I can try to restore what’s been lost, replace what’s been lost, redesign myself around what faces me presently, or relinquish that something all together.”
“Conflict is the pursuit of truth.”
Pastor Jonathan Furtick of Elevation Church): “If the size of your vision for life isn’t intimidating for you, there’s a good chance it’s insulting to God.”
“If you’re going to ask God to make the sun stand still, you better be ready to march all night.”
“When you do what you can do, God will do what only He can do.”
My prayer is that something in all of this randomness may have spoken to your heart. Obviously they all spoke to mine, or I wouldn’t have bothered to record them for posterity’s sake=) May God richly bless you with His presence and power in the days to follow.
1 comment:
Thanks for providing my quiet time this morning. I too want something for my life that only God can do.
Love you, Mama
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