Devotion in the Dark

“You have taken from me friend and neighbor—darkness is my closest friend.” Psalm 88:18

There’s no glossing over the hard things of life—the depression, anxiety, stress, death, pain, hurt, and heartbreak. We can’t ignore them, bury them, or make them pretty or easier to endure. In fact, when we choose to follow Christ, we sign up to carry His cross and sign on the dotted line for all His promises, one of which is that in this world we will have trouble. When the days and seasons of trouble come, we can feel helpless and useless sitting with darkness, our closest friend.

Truth is we are never helpless or useless because even in our deepest dark Jesus’ sacrifice gives us the gift of honesty, of openness, of unobstructed communion with God the Creator. The opportunity to be real with ourselves and with our God is a powerful tool against the enemy.

Psalm 88 is a psalm of lament. When you read it, the despair and agony of David’s soul is evident and pure and real.

David proclaims darkness as his closest friend, yet even in the dark he continues to speak, to cry out. He claims God has taken everything from him, yet David continues to keep the lines of communication between him and God open.

Therein lies the treasure of this passage, the beauty in the authenticity of God’s Word. Even in his lowest of lows, David never stopped talking to God. Not only did he keep talking, but he didn’t edit his feelings either. He didn’t try to gloss over the ugly truth of the condition of his heart. He didn’t try to dress up his words and feelings for a conversation with a holy God. He never stuffed all his raw emotions into a box labeled “shameful”.

No, instead, he wrote them all down, quite possibly even sung them out loud. He gave all the ugly words and hard feelings air to breath, but most importantly he was unabashedly honest with the one Person in his life that could handle all the hard things. His God. Throughout all the psalms—especially this one with no satisfactory ending—David stayed honest with the God he had staked His life on more than once. Even knowing God had allowed these hard things doesn’t keep him quiet.

He kept talking to God, out loud and in writing, through all the pain, amid all the questions, and despite knowing God had allowed his circumstances.

What trust! What refreshing vulnerability! What courage.

“Father, increase my faith to have the courage to bring all the hard and ugly directly to You, first and foremost and often. May my unedited soul find comfort in You alone because I know you hear my voice and the cry of my heart. You alone, Lord, can handle all my bitter brokenness. Though I feel darkness is my closest friend, I know You sit right here with me. Amen.”