Dear Family & Friends,
This has been the year of intention. Intention is defined as
the determination to act in a certain way. In looking up the definition, I
found that intention is also defined as the process or manner of healing of
wounds. We have all experienced wounds and carry wounds in our daily lives.
I’ve written about many of these in my own life over the years, but this year
was full of intention—I just didn’t know until I sat down to write this letter
that intention had anything to do with healing. This revelation puts 2019 in a
whole new perspective.
We always try to make our travels intentional to explore and
experience more of God in creation or to use the time away to invest in
relationships with one another and others. This year included snowmobiling in
Yellowstone, a mission trip to Mexico for me, Easter and Thanksgiving in GA, a
summer vacay to Maui, Hume Lake summer camp for Savannah and me, a trip to Washington
D.C. for Joey and Weston, and plenty of weekend camping with our framily. We realize
the blessing of these memories, and I try so hard to tuck them away and
treasure each one.
Weston turned 10 in August. He’s all boy. A growing, bright,
active and sensitive boy. Through some early struggles in the year physically
and emotionally, I’ve watched him choose to intentionally trust God more. We
pray with purpose, and he is quick to recognize his need for prayer and ask for
it. When we talk about the Lord, there’s a maturity to Weston’s understanding
of God’s presence now that has built in him a strength he didn’t have before.
He’s set his mind to learn and understand and put into practice what he learns.
His diligent intentions can be seen in his grades, his conversations, his
questions, on the soccer field and how he treats others.
Savannah turned 12 in October, but we have been in full preteen
mode for quite some time. Our church promotes kids the beginning of June, so
that’s when she officially entered the world of sixth grade and middle school. Natural
consequences have become an all too common discussion in our home, yet I’ve
watched her learn and grow with grace. We’ve always called her the baby
whisperer, but it’s such a joy to watch the Lord use her talents with the
children at church. She’s been intentional about not only volunteering at church
but making sure she’s present and involved with activities in the middle
school. She made the choice to switch sports this year as she started swim team
in August. She seems to love this sport, and I’m encouraged by her positive
attitude and willingness to take instruction and apply what she’s learned. The same
is true for school. It’s been her own spiritual growth where she’s taken
initiative that is the most endearing. She journals, does devotions, and even
has a prayer wall set up in her room. These are not things we’ve required her
to do, but how we’ve watched the Lord move with intention in her own heart. What
a joy and blessing and answer to prayer.
Joey began the year with the goal of being intentional with
our children by implementing Friday morning breakfast devotions with Dad. It’s just
him and the kids every Friday morning discussing God’s Word over Chick-fil-A
breakfast together. It’s nothing fancy, but it has become something they request,
and while the chicken is a definite motivator, I think they really crave the
time with their dad, and I’m so grateful Joey’s leading them toward their
Heavenly Father at the same time. Joey has continued to be intentional with our
marriage as he’s implemented “connect time” into our daily routine this year.
This is just a time for the two of us to sit down across from each other with
no distractions and talk, making sure we’re on the same page as we move forward
emotionally, spiritually, and mentally in our daily lives. This practice is
priceless for our marriage. As for work, I’m not sure I’ve met a more
intentional teammate. He seeks to serve with excellence, and I believe the Lord
continues to bless each of Joey’s intentions where work is concerned.
I began this year like every other year, but with the
encouragement and wisdom of a dear friend, I set my mind to complete my first
International distance triathlon. I could write a whole book on this intention,
but it’s always been a personal goal to complete one before I turned forty, so
I trained, and I sacrificed, and I completed the race. A half mile swim, 25
miles of biking, and 10K of running later I had crossed the finish line in 2
hours and 29 seconds, beating my personal goal of finishing in under 2hr30min.
(Ha!) It was a purpose-filled journey. When you intentionally choose to do
something difficult, the how and when of God’s presence lights up like a neon
sign.
After Joey and I completed his first sprint triathlon
together the end of September, God’s plans for me shifted drastically. It
became abundantly clear to me through His Word that I was to be intentional
with my time and how I chose to spend it and who I chose to spend it with.
Mostly, the Lord’s been calling me to Himself. My days are not as full as years
past because I felt the Lord call me out of several ministries. My days have
slowed as every hour I find myself stopping to seek the Lord’s direction on how
He would have me use my time. I’ve always felt the call to write but
disciplining myself to use my time to write is another act of obedience
altogether.
Yet the healing that has taken place in my heart and mind
and soul over this past year (ongoing healing from depression, anxiety, and the
wounds of grief from the past decade) is undeniable and must be completely
accredited to my Jesus and His patience with me, His faithfulness to never
leave me, never forsake me, and never give up on me. Mentally, I am healthier
than I’ve been for almost six years. Physically, well, can’t we all do better?
(Ha!) But the difference now is I know what to do and how to do it to keep
myself from derailing. Spiritually, God has opened my eyes to the practice of
intentional thanksgiving, and it’s currently blowing up my perspective on how
to approach this one life we are gifted. (Maybe I’ll have more to write on this
next year, I’m still in the beginning stages of what this looks like😉)
But the facts of this year speak for themselves—I did not intend to heal, but
turns out when I set my mind to discover what physical, mental and spiritual
wellness looks like for me, healing was an unintended, yet welcome side effect.
Ironically—as I mentioned above—by definition, intending is also actually a
process of healing. Who knew? God did. A process that continues, and I’m pretty
sure won’t end this side of heaven.
For six years my heart has wanted to heal, but it didn’t
know how. Had I intended to heal myself, I would have failed miserably. My
intention for six years has only been to discover what healthy looks like for
me in all aspects of life. It has been hard, rewarding, life-changing work. My
Jesus has met me right where I am every step of the way. Joey has come along
side me, leaning in to what it looks like to emotionally support. Our family of
four works hard to practice healthy, open and honest communication with one
another. And for the first time in my life, I feel like the Lord has blessed me
with friends who I know will take me back to Jesus every time I’m too weak to
take myself. Throw in a healthy dose of beach life and ocean sunsets, and my
heart is joy-full because I see God’s presence in all of it. I’m discovering His
intentions for me.
What about you? In what way can you determine in your heart
and set your mind to act in a way that will move you toward wellness in Christ?
Instead of a long list of resolutions for 2020, what’s just one area of your
life you can intentionally focus to be healthy? Is this the year for physical,
mental, emotional, spiritual, marital, parental or financial wellness?
I read recently that “the secret to joy is to keep seeking
God where we doubt He is (Voskamp, 1000 Gifts).” Which makes sense,
since “in (the Lord’s) presence is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11).” I’ve been on
an intentional journey, a treasure hunt, in search of joy for some time now,
and whether I like it or not, the truth is God keeps bringing me back to a
closer relationship with Him in my quest. I search for joy, and He shows me a
little more about His heart for me and others and this world. I grasp for joy,
and He gives me His hand to hold. I cry and beg for joy in the dark, and He
wraps me with his peaceful Presence. I’ve hunted for joy, intentionally,
relentlessly for six years, and I keep finding my Jesus in new ways, and today,
writing this letter, it makes my heart sing. What is it you think you so
desperately need that you’re willing to set yourself to the quest of finding
it?
I pray that this next year is the beginning of new quests
for each of us. Whether your quest be for love, peace, acceptance, purpose,
hope or all of the above, my guess is when you start exploring all the options—looking
under all the rocks, going to great lengths, highest highs and lowest lows to
find what you’ve set out to find—my guess is you’re going to find Jesus. I hope
you do. Knowing Him more and knowing He fully knows me is my greatest treasure
this year.
He is the best gift I can share with everyone in my life. 2
Corinthians 9:15: “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!”
Wishing you the merriest of Christmases from our home to yours,
Joey, Jennifer, Savannah & Weston Durham
Photography Credits to Katie Morrow Photography.
