Dear Family and Friends, December 1st, 2018
This year literally started with one of the best days
ever—watching the Georgia Bulldogs win at the Rose Bowl. It was a perfect day,
seeing the Rose Bowl Parade beforehand, enjoying our children (8 and 10) cheer
at their first Bulldogs game, watching a magnificent sunset that God
orchestrated over the stadium. For this Georgia family who loves our California
home, it was the best of all worlds. Today, 11 months later, as I sit here
pondering how I will share a glimpse of what came next, I can’t help but be grateful
that is how this year started. God’s gifts are good gifts that sustain even in
the hardest days, and for that I am grateful.
Both kids have thrived and grown in hard and good ways this
year. Savannah (11) is still our family muse. Her creativity, love of music,
and all things fun keeps our family in constant motion. She has impressed me
this year with her natural ability and boldness to communicate her opinions and
share her ideas. She tackles whatever challenge that is set before her with
determination and zeal, and she doesn’t get discouraged nor give up easily.
This has been evident in her piano playing, her school work, learning to surf,
tumbling classes, passion for baking, and even in her friendships. All these
characteristics are admirable, but on some days can be exhausting to parent, so
your prayers are felt and appreciated 😉She is a joy and a marvel and a challenge,
and I wouldn’t have it any other way. God uses her to draw others to Him with
her natural magnetism and ability to lead. May this always be true.
Weston (9)’s personality as a young man of character has
also started to bloom this year. Watching him grow as a sportsman on the soccer
field has been a gift. I’ve seen my son hit lows then rally to turn them into
highs. Whether in soccer, piano, art, engineering with Legos, or working toward
straight A’s in school, excellence is his goal.
While he often hits the mark, it’s been in the moments of disappointment
this year that I’ve seen the most growth. While I’m terribly proud of all his
accomplishments, I may be prouder of how he’s been working to accept and move
past the inevitable hardships that have come his way. He also never lets the
hard things make him hard. His heart is as soft and sensitive and loving as
ever. I know this is because He loves Jesus first. May this always be true.
Joey, as always, continues to be the even keel rock in our
family. From what I can tell, he is well-respected in his area of work with
Chick-fil-A, and he has continued to accept the responsibilities they give him
with integrity, passion, and strength. He loves what he does, the operators he
serves, and the people he works with and for. As a father, he is adored. I
couldn’t ask for a better role model for our children. His unique ability to
communicate with our family is invaluable because he teaches all three of us
how to be better communicators, which in turn, enables us to grow in healthy
ways. As a husband, well, there’s not enough space in this letter for me to
list what he has meant to me and been for me this year. He has pressed into a
hard season in my life and patiently, lovingly worked his way into my heart. He
is truly my best friend and biggest cheerleader and safe place. Grateful and
blessed to follow his lead because he leads well.
As for me, my words for this year didn’t come to me until a
month ago. Acknowledge and Accept. This is the path God has walked me down.
I’ve spent the past five years grieving in some format or another, on some
level or another, and this year I realized that I’ve been striving on some
level to fix the grief in my life, to make it stop, go away, feel better. I’ve
wrestled with God and myself and stayed so much in my head that my head finally
exploded. Cleaning up the explosion has looked like meds and therapy and doctor
appointments and exercise and eating right and communion with Jesus and getting
vulnerable with His people. It’s looked like doing a lot of sitting and talking
to God out loud in my car, talking to my therapist, and talking to my husband,
letting them all inside the really ugly spaces of my heart. Acknowledging and
accepting that this is my path, and this is my journey, and this is part of my
story that God is writing has been my path to freedom and experiencing joy
again.
Acknowledging and accepting that I can feel deeply, that
it’s ok to feel deeply, and not have to hold myself responsible for doing
anything with those feelings except just feel them. Acknowledge those feelings.
Accept those feelings, express them as needed to those whom God leads me, and
then let them go and sit in the knowledge that God made me this way, and it is
for His good purposes that I feel; therefore, it is His responsibility to show
me what to do with those feelings, not mine.
There is freedom and joy in letting go and letting God take
over. This take over for me has occurred in the quiet, in the still, in the
lonely, in the depths of the dark and deep recesses of my heart and mind where
God has found me and been with me and held my hand as I acknowledged and
accepted the path of hard truth He is walking me down, hand in hand. Not once
have I felt judged or less than in His eyes or Joey’s. My God and my man have
been nothing but gentle to me.
Which is why today I can sit here grateful for the journey I
am on. I’m still right in the middle of it. Meds and therapy and all, but I can
say that I accept my struggle with anxiety and depression as part of God’s
story for me. I can look back on this year and be grateful for the small
conversations it has allowed me to have that ministered to someone else walking
the same path. I can be grateful I’m not fighting myself anymore because there
is peace in acceptance. I am grateful for the gift of compassionate tears that
God has given me the ability to shed. I like to think that every tear I’ve shed
for someone else is one that person maybe didn’t have to shed themselves. I’m
grateful to feel deeply. It’s not something about myself I need to fix or
change; it’s something about myself I need to acknowledge, accept, and allow
God to shape for His glory.
What is it you need to acknowledge, accept, and allow God to
be present in with you this Christmas season? Isn’t that the message of
Christmas? Emmanuel, God with us. How are you allowing God to be with
you? The birth of Jesus was His greatest gift to us all—His very Presence
incarnate, on earth, to be held and touched and felt and enjoyed and loved.
Even in the hard places of this life, how are you accepting the presence of God
into your world? He is a True Gentleman. He stands patiently at the door and
knocks, never forceful, always gently persuasive, always there. What door will
you open in this next year to let Him in? All He wants to do is be with you
because He created the path that you are on. He planned the journey. Can you
acknowledge and accept His control of the way He created?
I did a crazy, meaningful thing to me this year. I tattooed
a piece of artwork on my left shoulder that represents my journey toward joy in
the Lord. So, I will leave you with the four Scriptures on the compass of my
tattoo. May they encourage you to find and seek Jesus in this season and the
year to follow.
“You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is
fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Psalms 16:11
“The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me
life.” Job 33:4
“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His
handiwork.” Psalms 19:1
“He continued, “Go home and prepare a feast, holiday food and drink;
and share it with those who don’t have anything: This day is holy to God. Do
not grieve. The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10
Wishing you and your family a day of joy amid blessing or
hardship to enjoy the good things the Lord has given!
Merry Christmas,
Joey, Jennifer, Savannah & Weston Durham
P.S.-Mad props to my husband who helped design the Christmas card this year. I’m sure you’ll appreciate his personal touch 😉Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from the Durhams!!!!!!
Family photo credit goes to Katie Morrow. Thank you for making it fun.
