What is it about the morning of a race that gets your blood pumping so early in the morning? I've been awake since 4:15am. Really didn't sleep much before that in expectation. I've been here since it was dark. Thinking. Praying. Hoping.
As the athletes begin to pour in and set up, I can't help but begin to compare. To feel less than. Inadequate. Unprepared.
The sunlight begins to fill the sky and with each ounce of light being shed in the atmosphere, my heart begins to quicken and stomach churn. Can I really do this again?
What was I thinking? !?!?
Then my mind and heart remember. I can't. But God can.
I pray silent prayers rebuking satan's attempts to chip away at my faith. How can he attack when I agree with him? I am inadequate. There is nothing in my own strength that will get me through the grueling 2 hours of racing other than the thought, 'God can.'
Maybe this is why I keep doing this. Keep pushing myself. Keep towing the line. Because when I'm in the middle of a race, I am precariously aware that my body, my life, is not my own. In the middle of a race, all I do is hope and yearn and strain and push for the finish. I am hyper aware of God's voice and presence and ever present help.
I like being that close to His presence. His self. His being. I think that's why I keep coming back.
What race are you running? Are you still preparing for your race? Maybe life is hard and tedious, boring or sometimes pointless? Keep training. God is right there. He's about to show up in a real way. Bet on it.
Are you in the middle of it yet? Do you feel like you're about to give up, give in, give out? Don't! Push a little harder. Focus a little narrower. And listen. God is right there. Find strength in His presence, in His voice, in Him.
It's time to race. It's time to put your faith training to work. He won't fail you. He never does.
The Son is up. The finish is closer than you think.