A Summer's Rain

To capture a moment in time by the tale,

You must stop and look and listen and hear.

Two kids on a towel, in the shade, on a hill,

A shelter of oak tree from the rain we peer.

One little boy love, all smiles and hugs,

One little girl joy, searching for bugs,

Together between my legs they remain,

From under a tree during this sweet summer rain.

The pitter the patter, the now steamy summer heat,

Wraps our trio in a golden moment complete.

Squeals and laughter, giggles galore,

I'd sit on this towel forever--ne'er asking for more.

Oh, to still time! To stop it's thieving hands,

From pilfering these moments, sifting them like sand.

I could dream no sweeter dream than time standing still,

For one boy love, one girl joy, and one pondering mother...full to the brim.

--Jennifer Durham, July 28, 2010

#45 sun-shining, summer showers

#46 living on a culdesac

#47 a little girl who finds enchantment and excitement in all the world around her

#48 a little boy content to climb, and pull, and love on his Mama

#49 an oak tree to provide perfect shade and shelter

#50 a husband who keeps a beautiful yard full of green grass

#51 the gift to capture these moments in words

I Run:Lesson Six

So, now I run, I swim, AND I bike. I love incorporating the other sports, but the training schedule is brutal. I'll be honest....I will be VERY glad when August 8th has come and gone and the finish line is behind me. In the meantime, I'm having to buckle down and learn how to work through one of my most difficult lessons yet.

Lesson Six: Injury is inevitable. How you respond to the injury says more about your character and faith in God than anything else.

My injury....plantar fasciitis in BOTH feet. What does this feel like? Well, back in mid-June, I'm pretty sure it all started with some sort of torn ligament in my right foot. This felt like knives sticking into the side and arch of my foot every time a stepped. That went away, but was replaced by a dull, throbbing ache in the mid-arch of my foot, tender to the touch. This dull ache has never gone completely away. For a month, I lived in pain. I don't think I really realized how much it was affecting me physically and mentally until I just broke down one night and cried and cried and cried.

Now in the running world, this type of injury--I'm finding--is referred to as "Plantar," but you must emphasize the word and say it with contempt like a pirate would say, "Arrgh!" Got the picture? Every runner I know sympathizes, and they all offer advice, but really it just boils down to a simple matter-of-fact: the only cure is rest. Rest. For someone in the middle of training for a race, this word is like a death sentence. I would love to rest. I would gladly rest, but I have a race to finish. A goal to meet. A call to heed.

Now everyone has "injuries" in life with which we must deal--mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. Some are like my "Plantar", constant, just under the surface, distraction causes the pain to fade, but at the end of the day sometimes you just have to cry yourself to sleep. Other "injuries" are more public. Maybe you bleed for all to see, or there's a scar that you just can't cover up. Regardless, of what your injury looks like or feels like, it's there, and you have to deal with it.

Now, I don't know enough to argue whether a sinful world is the cause of our injuries, our sinful selves, or God gives us injuries to test us. An argument could be made for all, I think. Fact is probably somewhere in the mix of all of these lies the truth. Regardless of the why, I do believe that God's sovereignty allows these things to happen, just as much as he protects us from other circumstances. Again, why? We will have to ask Him that one day, but I suspect, as in all things, He just wants us to depend on Him and not ourselves. He knows that our only true fulfilment, peace, clarity, success, and protection comes from being dependent upon Him--completely.

I took a cortisone shot in each foot to help me continue training to finish this race. I HATE needles. I wanted to run out of that podiatrist office and never run again. I wanted to give up. But, it was almost like an out-of-body experience, or I should say an in-body God experience. I looked the doctor in the eye and said, "Give me the shots." I felt God's hands on top of my clinched ones as the burning liquid filled my feet. I felt a peace, even as the tears trickled from the corners of my eyes. This is what I was called to do.

You must be willing to make the sacrifices needed when following what God has called you to do.

How do you respond to "injury"? What is your pattern of response when things get difficult? Do you quit? Do you try to find a way out? Another path? Do you doubt God's calling? Do you ask yourself, "Did God really say that, or was it just me?" Do you try to change your circumstances instead of riding out the storm? OR

Do you grin and bear it? Do you pray and go before the Lord and seek His face and beg for strength and wisdom and endurance? Do you push through because God's original calling was a true one, a wise one, and to doubt now would only make you weaker, expose your belly to the enemy? Do you educate yourself? Do you follow the Great Physician's instructions?

How do you respond? And what does that response say about your character and your faith in God?

For me, it means I rest more. Instead of barreling stubbornly through my training program despite it all, I consider my ways. I listen to my body and the Holy Spirit more acutely. I cut back on my running, but I still run. I still swim. I still bike. I train harder on my pilates video to strengthen the core of body to help support the rest of me, to hopefully prevent more injury. I follow my doctor's instructions: stretching, icing, Rx ibuprofen. I pray daily and speak against the enemy of fear. I tell myself and prepare mentally that if I have to walk....it's ok. I will finish. God is my Redeemer, my Healer, my Coach. He would not call me to complete anything He has not already equipped me to accomplish.

2 Timothy 3: "10 You (my readers), however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, 11 persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch(5k training), Iconium(10K training) and Lystra(Sprint Tri training), the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them.

12 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,

13 while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting

and training in righteousness, 17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Sometimes it helps to make scripture truly personal, so you can literally see God in your daily life. Now, in no way does my small experiences of running and training compare to the persecutions some of you face on a daily basis. But if I find these promises to be true in my own life, in what is a seemingly meaningless daily venture...then Oh! How much more will our Big God make this true in your own life for the truly unbearable injuries???

Keep running. Keep training. Keep believing God. No matter what.

I Live My Life Out of Bags

Yes, it is true...I live my life packing, unpacking, and repacking different bags for different uses. I was especially made aware of this after our recent trip to the beach with two kids in tow.

(Weston's first trip to the zoo...not so sure about that statue.)

There's the ever-present diaper bag which also functions as my purse, so it literally weighs 5lbs. on some days--no exaggeration. Contents: wallet, Blackberry, Flip video camera, Canon digital camera, lipstick/meds pouch, diapers, wipes, juice cup, juice bottle, formula bottle, formula dispenser, bib, spoon, jar of baby food, and snacks. At any point in time, this could also be carrying two changes of clothes and/or any other miscellaneous items that may be needed. Check bag one.

Bag two--the beach bag. We love summertime! We love the water...we loved the beach, but we must be prepared. Contents: swim diapers, two changes of clothes, four towels, two spray cans of sunscreen, one tube of baby suntan lotion, one face stick, one spray bottle of hair sunscreen, 2 swimmies, 1 baby float (deflated), 1 inner tube (deflated), possibly a magazine. This bag usually has a secong bag stuck in top of it--a small shoulder strap cooler for water, juice, and frozen yogurts, and filled with ice. This bag with cooler weighs about 10lbs. Then there's the Childcare Bags. These are needed for quick drop offs at the YMCA, Sunday School, or any other childcare opportunity I can find=) Contents: 1 juice cup, 1 pull-up, possibly a change of pants, 1 formula bottle, 1 juice bottle, wipes, and diapers.Which means currently, I can't forget my WorkOut Bag. You never know when an opportunity will present, so I try to have this one handy if my brain can remember it. Contents: 1 towel, goggles, swim cap, deoderant, Sportsband, iPod, armband, headphones, change of clothes, flip flops or running shoes, socks.(My little wave crawler...he was determined to swim right out to sea if he could.)

Oh, and we also tend to stay out late at family and friend's houses, or maybe a kid or two is spending the night with a grandparent or friend, so occasionally there's the overnight bag to carefully plan and pack. It's one thing if I forget something, but to torture someone I love by forgetting something my kids need is embarrassing, and I work really hard to avoid that!(Savannah's Bo Derek shot=)

Traveling to the beach included several reusable bags full of stuff. Who needs suitcases when you have reusable grocery bags that stack neatly and squish together nicely in the back of a car? Bags of food, snacks, kidware, diapers, formula, kitchen utensils you think the condo won't have. One bag for all of Savannah's clothes and essentials for the week. Another bag for Weston's...thank the Lord we didn't have to pack the pack-n-play. A bag for my clothes. A bag for Joey's. A bag for our portable floor fans...sad that none of us can sleep without that whirring white noise.
Whew! Bags, bags, bags galore! Have you kept up? Or just enjoyed the pics=) Ha! So I do...I live my life around the planning and packing and repacking of bags, especially in the summer. But you know what...I'm not complaining. I love every trip planned, every adventure experienced, and every moment explored. My kids are the best! My family is amazing, and my friends are so much fun. I have a feeling the future holds more bags: book bags, gym bags, sports bags, lunch bags, and inevitably...bags under my eyes=) But I wouldn't trade a single moment for all the money in the world! May your summer be bagged-full of possibilities too!

#39 family vacations
#40 moments to stop and be fully present in what God has given you
#41 the laughter of children
#42 the making of memories
#43 the ocean and it's reflection of God's grandness and goodness
#44 the ability to pack a bag

NEW BLOG DESIGN!!!

Thank you to my fabulous cousins, Amy & April, for an excellent 30th Birthday present! It took several months of being wait-listed, then several weeks of revisions, but I'm very happy with the results! Please take a moment to click out of your blog reader program and actually go to our website www.thedurhamites.blogspot.com to see my site's new blog design! I LOVE IT!

To everyone who's been waiting for updates...they're coming. Training for a triathlon is just taking up way more hours of my day than I would like, but the end is in sight! Thanks to all my silent followers and public ones...I think you are all the best!

I Run: A Reflection-Goal 2!

So, it’s been a while since I’ve written about my running. To be honest, nothing much has changed. Everything I’ve written to date applies pretty much consistently across the board. I cycle through up and down phases of training, but in the end, God always motivates me to complete my goal.

Monday, May 31st at 7:30am, I started goal #2: a 10K race….6.214 miles to be exact. This was so much harder to train for than I expected, so I had serious concerns about actually being able to run this entire race.

(My biggest fan, Joey, accompanied me to the race and took all the glorious pictures you see here=) If it wasn't for his encouragement and coaching, I don't think I'd even have been able to do this. There were so many mornings when he literally would just gently encourage me to get up and go run "just 2 or 3 miles"--"do what you can" he'd always say. Inevitably I would always pound out the 4, 5, or even 6, just because he knew me well enough that if he could prod me to get me up and moving, I'd accomplish my goal. You are more appreciated than you'll ever know, babe. Thanks for always being there for me!)

So, back to the race.....10K, lots of hard training, feeling insecure...

My concerns were only heightened as the rain began to POUR five minutes after the race began. And I mean pour—rain steadily and heavily for the next 35 minutes of the race. For me, that was pretty much the entire first lap. It rained so much that I had issues seeing where I was going and actually breathing because of the amount of water flowing over my face. But, praise God, I never stopped running. I would have been so disappointed if I had.

(I told you I was not a pretty runner...and here is proof!)

So with lap one complete and the rain letting up, I now faced the joy of running in sopping wet tennis shoes and soaked, body-hugging clothing. Now, I won’t lie, I enjoyed the fact that this kept me cool, and I really never broke a sweat. If I did, I couldn’t tell the difference between sweat and excess water run-off=) However, the added weight of wet clothing was a concern and having to spend a little extra energy avoiding large puddles on the road did slow me down a bit.
Nevertheless, 1 hour and 6 minutes later, God got me across the finish line having never stopped running once! It was the best feeling in the world to complete that race. I actually felt like I could have kept going, I had energy to spare, and part of me wished I had kicked my pace up a notch the last mile instead of just the last ¼ of a mile. But no regrets! My goal was always to finish and finish faster than 1 hour and 10 minutes, so I was pleased.

(Joey calls this my "game face"...I was actually determined to sprint across the finish line, thereby passing the elderly gentleman who had managed to stay in front of me the entire race...Ha!)

I wish I could explain, for the benefit of those who read and who are thinking about racing or doing anything that seems difficult or just down right impossible, how amazing it felt to cross that finish line. Yes, the training was miserable. Yes, the training lasted way longer than the actual race, but crossing that finish line!!! There is nothing in this life more satisfying and fulfilling than working hard to meet a goal, making the needed sacrifices to complete a task, beating your body and mind into submission to heed a higher calling.

Nothing is more satisfying.

(And of course, all runners do it for the T-shirt=)

And this applies across the board, across the entire spectrum of life. I keep writing that it’s not just about running. It’s not just about getting my body back in shape. This journey is teaching me about THE Journey. This Journey with Christ. This adventure He has called us to live. Most days of our lives—let’s be honest—are kinda like training. There’s the monotony, the misery, and the “maybe some other time” days. But then there’s the race! The test, the event, the experience that makes it all worth while. The good decision made that reaps great reward, only after countless hours of prayer. The person you were able to help see Christ or encourage in just the right moment, but only because you had been putting in the weeks of steady study in God’s Word. That moment in an argument when you were able to take a deep breath and refocus instead of blowing up in rage, only because for months you’ve been diligently meditating on Christ and His influence on your life.

There just simply is nothing more satisfying.

So where do I go from here? Bring on the Sprint Triathlon, baby! I am pumped about this! August 8th the majority of the women in my family will hopefully join me to complete the PT Solutions Acworth Women’s Sprint Tri at Lake Altoona. (Ladies who read, if you're interested, sign up and come swim, bike, run with us!!!!) Then again on September 18th, Joey and I will complete our first Sprint Tri together in Gainesville, GA. After that, well, I’m signing up for the Disney Half Marathon, but I’m not fully committed to how much will actually get run—only time and training will tell=)

Never be afraid to take the next step toward the next goal. Even if you don’t complete it—and 99% of the time you will—remember you’re in the majority just for trying.

Nothing is more satisfying…I promise=)

The Kiddos

So I have quite a few thoughts on my mind…I’ll probably be posting for a few days=) But let’s get started!

(Love, love, love! This picture=) These first two great pics compliments of my good friend and employer, Dezirae, with Sugar Snap Photography!)

First the kiddos because that’s all anyone really wants to hear about, right? Savannah is as active and talkative as ever!!! She’s really hit her stride, and I do believe she might actually think she’s an adult already! The things she says are hilarious and so mature for her age. It’s actually the WAY she says things that are particularly funny. It really is like she’s an adult in a child’s body—like the way she holds her hands up to either side and cocks her head when she says, “But mommy, I’s jus getting some juice.” Or the way she says so cautiously, “Watch your step now.”—with her voice rising slightly at the end. I love it! I love everything about her. She’s grown up too fast, yet there’s not a moment gone by that I would trade for anything.

Our conversation right before bed last night went something like this: "Savannah get your paci and pick out a book, it's time for bed." "Uhhhg (this is the slight grunting/groan sound some of us make when we are having to do something we don't want to do), come on Mommy. Seriously? (Hands held out to either side of her face and head cocked.) Come on, Mommy." I really shouldn't laugh in her face when she does this, but it's such a mirror of my own comments and inflection that I usually can't help myself=)

(Spicy Chicken Sandwich is a BIG celebration in the Durham house!)

Weston, well Weston has become a little ball of activity. In all his frustration, he finally figured out how to start crawling, and hasn’t stopped yet! I fully expect him to be pulling up very soon onto things, then I’m sure cruising the couch won’t be far behind. The down side is he’s a silent creeper. Unlike Savannah, he never makes a peep, so I’ll be busy doing something, then look around and he’s gone! This has been to my detriment as he’s already fallen off his changing table and tumbled down our stairs. Both of these were HUGE fears of mine with Savannah, so I thank God every day that children are so resilient and so far, Weston in particular, can take a pretty good lickin’ and keep on kickin’. I’m pretty sure I cried longer after his tumble down the stairs than he did.

He has the best smile!!! It just lights up his entire face. And now, he is definitely hooked on solid foods. I hate this stage because it makes such a mess and there’s only so many foods you can cook that they can actually manage to eat on their own, but he’s so happy to do it! We’re working on drinking from a cup, but in the meantime, he has finally started to hold a small (4oz.) bottle on his own. The bigger 8oz. is still a challenge, but it’s fun to watch him try as he buries his face in the nipple and tries to drink it like a straw, unable to actually lift it up=)
After four months of ear infections that never healed, we finally decided to have the tubes put in his ears. The amount of snot that followed flowing out of his head for five days was enough to convince us we had made the right decision. I’ve never seen anything like it! No wonder his pour little ears could never heal!

So now with summer in full swing, I look forward to posting pictures of summer fun to come. Stay busy and on the go…that’s my motto with this crew. Hanging around the house just ends up being disastrous for all parties involved, especially when Savannah gets bored…nobody wants to deal with that! So far we’ve be to Centennial Olympic Park to play in the water fountain, we head to White Oak Park for playdates on Tuesdays, Wednesdays we head to Aunt Debbie’s pool, and I’m hoping to add a visit to my friend Bekah’s pool in there somewhere every other week, and we have White Water season passes, so that should be fun!

Weston has actually already had his first pool day, and I have no pictures to share=( Bad mommy! But who can take pictures when you’re trying to keep one from falling out of a float and the other from clinging to you like a dying animal? Biggest kid prayer request: That Savannah relearns how to like the water again. This I’m-scared-of-everything phase is for the birds=)

#32 for relatives with a lake house where we can go to chill

#33 modern medicine

#34 reflections of yourself--good & bad--in a small child

#35 a husband who recognizes the importance of investing in his family

#36 a little girl who tires you just watching her

#37 a little boy who just wants to be loved

#38 a God who provides it all

Let Me Try to Catch Up...

A month?!? Almost a month? Has that much time really slipped by since my last tirade of a post? Geez...let me see if I can give you the run down in short spurts and pictures=) Well...

there was Easter,

then Joey played in a Chick-fil-A Dodge Ball Tournament with the fam...love these guys! And yes, their team name was Old Diesel, aptly shortened to the O'Diesels. Such a funny, long story behind that name! Unfortunately because of the creeping audience I know this blog has, for the first time in my blog history, I feel I am not at liberty to divulge these details. So sad...would have made so many laugh!

From left to right: Mark (cousin's hubby), Joey, Mark ("little bro"), Andrew (cousin), Tyson (kinda related, but not really, too long a story to explain), Matthew (bigger, little bro) =)

Let's see, then my last tirade happened,

I started working for my friend Dezirae with Sugar Snap Photography. I LOVE THIS! I'm like an office assistant, answering emails, placing orders, and such. I work 1-9 hours a week depending on volume, and I LOVE IT! But who would have guessed an administrative job involving computer work from the comfort of my own home would be right up my alley? =) Oh, and if anyone needs a good photographer, she's wonderful!

Then we left town! I'm saddened my cuz didn't give me a small shout-out on her blog, but given she just graduated from a doctoral program at the ripe old age of 29, I will let her off the hook for being slightly distracted=) Anyway, we had the best, best, best, best time ever in Arizona with April and Destin. I love my children, but it was the first time, I honestly didn't want to come home. Sound terrible? I know!

But between doing nothing by the pool, sleeping in until we just couldn't sleep anymore, experiencing near hypothermia tubing down the Salt River (so much fun anyways!), hiking through some of God's most beautiful mountainsides, and seeing a playoff game between the Spurs and the Suns--seriously? Who really would want to come home?

But we did. We came home to our two beautiful children, and the best gift ever is their smile from ear to ear and squeal when they first see you. That must be what heaven's music really sounds like=)

Savannah was well by the time we got home. Weston still did and still does have the same ear infection. You know it's bad when at his 9-month appointment, my doctor looked at me and said, "You really have had a very hard winter." Yes, yes I have. I'm praying that the tubes Weston gets in his ears on June 1st bring a swift end to this hard winter.

However, despite his horrible ears, he still has the sweetest disposition, so we don't slow down a bit! As soon as we hit town, after the ENT visit, we headed straight out to Harry Stacy Farms with MiMi to pick fresh, home-grown, organic strawberries...Mmmmm, yum=) Savannah thought this was great fun, and as soon as I join the 21st century and figure out how to upload Flip videos to the internet, I will share more, but for now, these are photos are some of my favorites.

Mother's Day was the next weekend. We went to Macon, and I am officially zero for two in getting a halfway decent Mother's Day picture. This was the best of last year's pictures.

There really wasn't a "best" of this year's pictures, so I will let you have the funniest.

Nine years of married bliss was aptly celebrated on the 12th by visiting my Granddaddy Frank, who wound up in the hospital unexpectedly, then once we realized he was stable, continuing on to help Matthew and Emily move into their new apartment in Augusta. So definitely, Arizona was our anniversary celebration! But we loved helping Matt & Em move and wouldn't have done it different if given the chance=)

And I'm pretty sure that catches everyone up. I leave you with pictures of the signs of the life I live now that I try to capture--trinkets and tattle-tales of little hands at work-- because one day all these little signs will be gone, and I will miss them. "Thank you Lord,.."

#22-for bunny stickers on the washing machine and fish stickers on the bathroom wall

#23-for spilled messes found after the fact

#24-for family, and friends, and places to go, people to see

#25-for a daughter who gives me big hugs and tells me she loves me just because

#26-for cuddles and tickles and laughter and snuggling on the bed watching Bambi

#27-for a little man on all fours, rocking back and forth, trying so hard to figure out how to get around his little world

#28-for the joy in the eyes and smile of great-grandparents

#29-for 9 marvelous years of God-seeking marriage and a man who I wouldn't trade for anything

#30-for fresh smushed strawberries, sugared to sweetness

#31 for the hopeful end to four long months of ear infections!