My Self-cation

6am the alarm goes off.  7am Savannah comes in to wake us up.  TV turned on, morning snack and juice cup delivered.  Back to bed. 7:30 the day gets started.  Breakfasts are made, lunches packed if necessary, breakfast dishes washed, dishwasher unloaded to be reloaded.  Car packed for the days needs (school, Bible study, play date, errands, park, etc.) If we're staying home, laundry commences, straightening of the house, pulling out and putting away of toys, clothes, etc. Maybe some play dough time or finger painting if I'm feeling extra artsy.  Lunch happens.  Dishes get washed and put away.  Lunch mess cleaned up.  Play time after lunch for an hour or so until nap time.  Rest/Nap time happens. Sometimes I rest, sometimes I do pilates, sometimes I just do more household chores.  Kids wake up.  We all snack and watch Wild Kratts together.  TV turns off.  Their self entertainment begins, and I kick into dinner prep mode.  Joey gets home.  Dinner is served.  The kids wrestle with dad for 30 minutes or so.  I wash and put away dishes and leftovers.  Maybe 30 more minutes of family time then it's bed and bath routine.  Kids are in bed, I zone out on the couch.

This is a very typical day in my life.  As a matter of fact, this happens almost every day with little to no variance.  There's no down time, no me time, very little intentional time.  There's no JOY.  

And when joy has seeped out of your life and has suddenly gone missing, you start looking for it desperately.

That's how I found myself on my own little self-cation.  Kinda like a vacation from the life above, but being totally focused around myself.  I can't pinpoint the exact day I went on self-cation, but it was definitely two to three weeks ago.  I slept in later than usual, leaving pop-tarts and juice cups out for the kids.  Oh, I made sure they got their meals, but everything in between is a blur.  I finished the entire Hunger Games series in three days.  Couldn't tell you what my kids were doing while I read those books.  They were safe and fed, that's all I really know.  I tried to spend time with my friends, filling my days with conversations I wanted to have, making sure my kids were entertained by others.  I "cooked" meals at night that took no forethought or real preparation in the name of "making good use of what was in the pantry" like peanut-butter and jelly and bread.  I ate out when/if possible, not monitoring the nutrition intake of myself or the kids.  I basically checked out, trying to find joy in doing what I wanted to do instead of the million-item-long list of all the things I was suppose to do because I'm a mom, and a wife, and a stay-at-home one at that.

Notice, that in neither of these circumstances, my usual day spoken of at first, nor my self-cation involved consulting or including the Lord in my plans.  Why?  Because I know better.  Because living the Christ-filled life is hard and exhausting at times.  There's got be something better right?  A better way?  An  easier way, right?

The Holy Spirit inside of me was already speaking to me in all of these circumstances begging me to return to the Lord, to listen to Him, to just sit in His presence and spend a little time.  But my flesh, oh my flesh!!  My flesh is sinful and strong, and without Him I am weak. (Romans 7:21-25)  So I let my fleshly pride of control and the idea of me, me, me, me guide my day and my decisions, and my search for joy got lost in a sea of pride, which eventually drowned me in an ocean of shame and self-loathing.  The temptation of myself led me down a path toward death.  (James 1:14-15) Well, I haven't actually died, but my spirit has been slowly withering away, becoming weaker in the process, harder to return to the Lord.  The further I slipped away the harder it became to turn back, to throw off this yoke of sin and reach for the easier yoke of the Lord. (Matthew 11:30)

The Christ-filled life is hard, don't get me wrong, but when our sin drags us back into the slavery of the self-cation, we suddenly find ourselves burdened beyond what we can bare, and it's then we remember what kind of freedom we actually have IN CHRIST.  And in that moment of remembrance, like the prodigal son's epiphany (Luke 15:17), all I had to do was turn my eyes back toward my Father's direction.

Hear me in this!  All I had to do was turn my eyes.  Where my eyes turned in desire, my heart followed.  Lift my head ever so slightly, shift my gaze back to Him and what I had let slip away, and in that one small moment, the one tiny glimmer of humbleness in a spark of repentance, GOD WAS THERE.

He swept back through my heart and wiped away the cobwebs of neglect.  Through my tears of brokenness and repentance, He restored my heart, my will, my mind.  He filled me again because He was always right there.  As His child, once sealed with His Spirit in faith through the blood of Christ, He never left me.  He just couldn't abide IN ME, LIVE THROUGH ME while I was preoccupied with self, with flesh, with the world.  Because the world hates me because I'm His (John 15:19--read this and your true alliances are really put in perspective!), and He loves me because I'm His, and the two just can't coexist together in one space, in one heart.  It always has to be one or the other. (James3:11-12)

So, like most vacations, I find myself slowing assimilating back into the life He has called me to live.  Full restoration of communion with God is accomplished when confession and repentance are offered and forgiveness accepted, but full restoration of the shambles you've made of your life in the process?  Well, that takes time.  It's part of the consequences of sin.  I can be in perfect communion with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ AND still have to work through the mess He allowed me to make of myself at the same time.  The difference?

Now I have the joy I was searching for.  It's only found in Him and through Him.  It's only found in utter humility.  So the question begs?  How do you stay humble?  How do you stay in this bent state of awe to the God who would take you back, unconditionally, every time?  If I knew this answer, I might stop going on self-cations!  But I think the answer lies in spending daily intentional time in His presence.  The more I can't, won't, stop doing this, that's when the sliding away begins.  The very moment I stop entering into His presence is when I enter the presence of self, and this is why the Christ-filled life is hard.  We live our daily lives in a war zone, a rage of battles in the mind and body.  I can't let up for one moment.  I can't forget for one moment that God is near, that He is mine, and that the victory is His.  (Ephesians 6:12)

Victory! Joy!  I want these in the day to day.  I want to see what God sees when He looks at this life.  I want His eyes--to the see the world for it's potential to praise Him as it was created instead of seeing everything that's broken and fallen and wrong.  And until the day when I enter His presence for all eternity, I will struggle and fight and battle to see as God sees because the way He sees is full of joy and victory and wonder and excitement and all things pure and lovely, admirable, and praise-worthy.  Everything that is excellent!!! (Philippians 4:8) Who wouldn't want to see what God sees?

So I am left to discipline myself, my flesh, to the bending of the knee and the heart, to the humbling before the cross because the lower I become the more joy I find fills my every pore.  The less of me there is to perform, the more of God there is to shine.  With my face in the dirt, body pressed to the ground, trying so desperately to disappear, then the blood of the cross can wash over me, literally run right off of Him over my prostrate shell of flesh, and no one can see me.  They only see His blood.  His sacrifice.  His way.

And when others see Him, when my children see Him, when my husband sees Him, when Christ makes the difference, I am all JOY!  ALL JOY.  Because it's none of me and all of Him, and somehow, the way He's knit me together--knit us together--somehow, we are created to quiver with real joy when He is exalted.  So maybe all the days in between the highs and lows of life, all the mediocre mundane, can look something like this.... (hang with me here...)

6am the alarm goes off. Silent prayer with eyes closed that this is another day, another opportunity to love the Lord.  Maybe, in God's strength I can climb out of bed to do my quiet time, but if I don't, if the night was too long, and my body too tired, I will accept God's grace for this morning, and thank Him for another day to serve and try again.  7am Savannah comes in to wake us up. Silently thank the Lord for a vibrant little girl who loves life.  TV turned on, morning snack and juice cup delivered.  7:30 the day gets started.  Breakfasts are made, lunches packed if necessary, breakfast dishes washed, dishwasher unloaded to be reloaded.  Car packed for the day's needs (school, Bible study, play date, errands, park, etc.)  Silent shorts prayers offered all the while for people that pass through my mind.  Prayers of thanks for the breakfast provided.  Maybe some Bible verses read and discussed.  Moments of conversations with the children appreciated and wrapped in gratitude and prayer over each extra moment or brief second of godly wisdom possibly shared. If we're staying home, laundry commences, straightening of the house, pulling out and putting away of toys, clothes, etc. Maybe some play dough time or finger painting if I'm feeling extra artsy.  Maybe we laugh and play and sing silly songs or Bible songs and take time to point out things we are grateful for.  Teachable moments are recognized and caught and the Christ-filled life is lived out in front of my children.  Lunch happens.  Dishes get washed and put away.  Lunch mess cleaned up.  Play time after lunch for an hour or so until nap time.  Thanks to God is given at the meal, maybe another opportunity to read a little more Bible, discuss a Bible verse, or recap the mornings activities.  Maybe when we go outside, we start to list all the beauty of God's creation for which we are grateful, taking notice and being appreciative.  We see God together.  Rest/Nap time happens. Sometimes I rest, sometimes I do pilates, sometimes I just do more household chores.  I choose to turn off the TV and pick up my Bible.  I spend 5-10 minutes in communion with my Lord, more if I can spare.  If I can't, I accept the grace God offers and fall asleep myself if I need to.  Kids wake up.  We all snack and watch Wild Kratts together.  TV turns off.  Their self entertainment begins, and I kick into dinner prep mode.  Joey gets home, joyfully and lovingly greeted.  Dinner is served. Thanks to God for His provision is given. The kids wrestle with dad for 30 minutes or so.  I smile and silently thank the Lord for a husband who plays with his children, sending up prayers that this never stops.  I wash and put away dishes and leftovers, thanking the Lord that I can do this, so Joey has more time with the kids.  Thanking Him for leftovers and room in the fridge to keep it all.  Maybe 30 more minutes of family time then it's bed and bath routine.  Grateful for a husband who jumps in and helps out.  Spending precious time with the kids saying prayers, singing songs of praise, and taking advantage of those vulnerable, precious moments before bedtime when God opens the heart of a child to their parent.  Kids are in bed,--thank the Lord the kids are in bed!--, but instead of zoning out on the couch, maybe I sit and reconnect with my husband, or I choose my Bible instead of the TV, thanking the Lord that I have a little peace and quiet before another day begins.  Praying for a peaceful night's rest.  Basking in the peaceful sleep of a day full of joy.

A Day Full Of Joy.  Did you catch the difference?  Humility and Gratitude, lack of self and focus on Christ--it changes the entire day.  It can change the rest of my life.

A Picture is Worth a 1,000 Words

I've had so much on my mind and heart lately that I'm still sorting through thoughts and praying through life.  In the meantime, these two keep growing up!  I think this picture just about says it all...

Trouble on the left and Mischief on the right.  Pretty sure both pairs of those eyes are gonna break some hearts one day=)  This is my life, and even though I have my doubts some days, I LOVE IT!!!!

Easter Story Cookies

Ok, so I don't normally put stuff like this on my blog, but this idea is new to me and so fun and so meaningful at the same time, I needed to share it with all my mom friends=)  I received this idea in an email and these directions came as a .jpeg file, so I can't make the picture any bigger than you are seeing it below.  (I also can't give credit where credit is due because I have no idea where this idea generated.  A little shady considering wherever it came from can't spell the word "resurrection", but hey, grace to all, right?=)  However, if you would like me to email you the file yourself, let me know, and I will send it your way.  Such a special way to celebrate Christ's death and resurrection this Easter and leave a word picture in our little one's minds=)  Love y'all!

What Tool Are You?

Hard lesson to swallow:  Every mother is good at something, but no mother is good at everything.

Question: What is the something you are good at, and how will that something be useful to the kingdom of God through your children?  Because I firmly believe that God gave us the particular children He did for the particular reasons He has.  We just don't know God's mind=)  And in the process of seeking His mind, we learn more about Him and His plan for us, not just our children.

I'm learning more and more that my children are a tool in the hand of a big God to work me into the masterpiece He is still creating, and the vice versa is true as well.  I am a tool in the hand of a big God who is shaping my children into the masterpiece He wants them to be.  I am a tool.

I am a tool.....think about that.

If I am a tool, I have no control over myself.  And to be a good tool, I must relinquish myself  into the hands of the Craftsman, only He knows how to use me properly and effectively.  If I try to control myself, nothing gets accomplished.  Anyone besides God is less talented and less qualified to guide me for the work at hand.  So what kind of tool am I in the hands of God?  How has He fashioned me, and how is He using me to fashion my children and the others in my life?

I'm not a paintbrush.  I don't make life for my children colorful and fancy and fun and exciting.  I don't coat their days with crafts and fun.  I wrongly envy those that do.

I'm not a magnifying glass.  Every opportunity of my day is not intentionally crafted into a life lesson.  My children sit in long silences in the car sometimes.  I answer questions when asked, but don't ask them very often.  Every task in my life doesn't have a deeper, spiritual meaning.  I wrongly envy those that do.

I'm really not sure what tool I am yet.  Maybe someone with an outside view could let me know.  I do know this though.  I think I know the message I want my children to learn.  The Holy Spirit whispered this thought to me today, and I'm still unpacking it in my brain, but here it is.  I want my kids to grow up knowing that Life is good, but God is better.

Let me explain.  You see, I don't need my children to be rocket scientists.  I don't need them to be world renown theologians reaching the far ends of the earth for Christ.  I just need them to love God.  I don't need them to please me.  I just want them to please God.

And in the midst of God's pursuit of the hearts of my children, I want them to know that life is good!  It's hard, but it's good too.  It can be fun and full of joy when you are living to simply love God.

Life is good, but God is better.
Choosing to spend your life in the pursuit of knowledge is good, but choosing to spend your life in the pursuit of the knowledge of God is better!
Choosing to serve others is good, but choosing to serve God is better!
Choosing to love a husband or wife is good, but choosing to love God abandoned is so much better!
Choosing to find a career focused around your strengths is good, choosing to let God use your strengths for His purposes is so much better!

The best part of all? When you choose God first, He often blesses you in return with all the "good" things as well!  You get the best of both worlds when you choose God first.

I always see life in extremes, constantly looking for the balance of those extremes, so maybe God is using me like a level in the life of my children, trying to help them balance because the Lord knows that's how He uses them in my life--as a constant reminder of what and how things can get so out of balance so quickly.  With just a nudge one way or the other, the bubble of life is floating in the wrong direction.  I need the Creator's steady hand to balance my life just so, and in the process, through me, He will balance the lives of my children as well.

So today, for now, I see myself as a level in the hand of God.  He's showing me how to balance.  I'm sure he can use me at different times in life as many other tools in the life of my children.  I look at my own parents and think of the days they were hammers, nailing the truths of God into my life over and over again, despite their and my pain.  I see how they were tape measures in my life, constantly being a point of reference for just how far I needed to go or long I needed to endure. They were also often times the wrench that gripped tight and twisted me out of a tight situation.  They have been the sandpaper that annoyingly rubbed away the rough spots in my life, leaving behind a smooth, finished surface.

My parents have been and really continue to be many tools in my life.  I can only hope to be just as useful in the hands of the Master Craftsman in the lives of my own children as they were and are in mine.  Time will tell.

For these days, for now, I think I am a level, constantly trying to find the right balance and center to life.  Trying to find where the mark needs to be made on the walls of the hearts of my children.  Finding the point where a nail of truth needs to be hammered home.  God is using me as His level.

How is God using you?

 

Savannah Prays

So I've been wanting to post this for a while, but leave it to my most wonderful babysitter in the whole wide world to finally get a decent video of it=)

I'm not sure where my daughter learned to pray like this (and let me assure you, this is only the first few minutes of what is usually at least five minutes long).  Let me emphasize--we DO NOT pray like this at home! I would love to take some credit for this, but this is totally not of Joey or me, so I will chalk yet another thank you up to BSF and their fantastic children's program, and I will also say, I think my daughter might have a gifting in prayer if there is such a thing.

You be the judge.  Again, this is just the opening...

So I've been praying for God to teach me how to pray more effectively and more diligently and more genuinely.  Think maybe He's trying to tell me something through this sweet girl?  Genuine thanks, prayers for unity, blessings for others, scripture?  Not sure I could come up with a better outline=)

Oh how the Lord must wish we could all keep our child-like hearts and attitudes!  May I never become so prideful that I can't be as an innocent child before my Lord.  Happy praying=)

The Priceless

 (He's my skinny, mischievous little boy who just starting giving me the sweetest, real kisses in the past few weeks.  Melts my heart into butter.  She's my beautiful drama queen, always full of silliness and smiles, so I couldn't help but post this pout=)  She's my joy and sunshine--always has been.)

So, I haven't written much about my two munchkins lately.  Truth be told, we stay so busy, I don't have much time to write at all!!!  I feel so much like Mary, the mother of our Lord, pondering and trying to treasure all these things in my heart, praying that one day God will help me recall them and put them on paper in some format.  But today my heart sang, and this is why...

Saturdays have become my favorite day of the week now that Joey is home ALL DAY.  We eat family breakfast together, usually run a few needed errands together, then hang out at the house just soaking up the opportunity to be in each others' presence, fiddling around doing any odds and ends a home requires.

Today as I was busy prepping for the spring consignment sale, Savannah and Weston were busying themselves picking holly berries and placing them in a watering can.  This is the conversation I overheard:
Weston: "Sissy, I love you." (Completely out of the blue and unprompted!)
Savannah: "I love you too, Weston.  And we are going to be each other's friends forever and ever, right?"
Weston: "Right."

My heart thrilled and soured and dipped and twirled inside my chest!  It was such a matter-of-fact, Fox and the Hound type moment.  They are only 2 and 4, but I have prayed from the day Savannah was born that her brothers and/or sisters would be her best friends the rest of her life.  That God would give me the wisdom to somehow instill a sisterly/brotherly love for each other from the start of their relationship.  I don't want Savannah to grow up thinking she needs to be Weston's second mother, and I don't want Weston feeling like she is.  I want Savannah to grow up feeling valued and loved by Weston, and he respected and honored by her.  These deep desires start NOW.   I plant these seeds daily and earnestly at the leading of the Holy Spirit.

To be honest, I'm not sure how to even go about doing this, but I do the best I know how, responding as the Lord leads, and I try to think about how settling what seem like inconsequential arguments between them now is creating the building blocks for fostering that relationship and those future conversations.  So needless to say, this overheard treasure was deeply special.  One to be captured and hung in the Memory Hall (as I like to think of this blog.)

A little bit later, Weston is off doing his own thing, and Savannah walks herself out to the curb at the front of our house.  "Savannah, where are you going?" I yelled from the garage.  "I'm going to go sit down and talk to God for a while, Mom."  Really?!?  Does it get any sweeter than that?  "Ok honey, that sounds like a great idea."  Smiling to myself, I returned to work, and marveled in the sweet nothings of voice and sound that were coming from her direction.  Words I could not hear, but words nonetheless to our Heavenly Father.  I'm glad she felt the freedom to let me know and to just go---and talk to God.  May she always be wrapped in that freedom.  May those conversations only increase as her life moves on.

These are the priceless days, the priceless moments when time stands still and all is right with the world, even if just for a moment.  These are the truly priceless things.

(This one's for my brother Matthew--pretty sure she's pulling some form of the raptor pose in this pic=)

I Run & Obstacle: Fear Conquering!

Ok, so about a year ago, I signed up for this crazy "race," but everyone who has "competed" knows that to finish is your only goal.  Tough Mudder calls it a "challenge" not a race.  Most people who peruse the link to the website will call you "insane."  I am here to testify, 'I AM INSANE!'

The race was located on the former GM proving grounds in Mesa, AZ.  Climbing over the torn up asphalt roads was conveniently part of our 12.5 mile course and was just an added perk to the 29 obstacles we were to complete.  I've included a few favorite pictures in this blog, but my cousin April and her sister-in-love Erin have already done an excellent job of blogging pictures and videos, so check those out for more context if you like=)

For me though, I must admit I was deeply terrified to complete this course.  I was most worried about holding back my team of 7 other super-fit friends because to be honest, I was the only one in our group who has had kids, and I just didn't have the time or energy to train how was necessary.  I won't give excuses, but I can admit I was not in the shape I needed to be for this race.  I knew it, and I was scared.  So scared, I'm pretty sure that's where my week-long blinding headache came from for the whole week before the race.

But ultimately it boiled down to conquering the fear.  Fear holds us back from accomplishing so much in this life.  Fear of making a wrong decision, so you don't make one.  Fear that the decision you just made was wrong, so you live in doubt and anxiety.  Fear of never trying anything, so your life will fade into oblivion without a blip on the radar.  Fear of trying things because you might fall flat on your face, fail, injure yourself, and/or make a complete fool of yourself.  Fear of this.  Fear of that. Fear, fear, fear!!!

If we were honest, especially as parents, we fight fear every day of our lives.  We battle with fear on the spiritual battleground hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute, decision by decision.  If you're like me, and you're always trying to extrapolate the final results of every decision 5 minutes to 5 years out, fear can be paralyzing, depressing, and ultimately become your prison.

God did not put me on earth to live paralyzed, depressed, and imprisoned.  So IN HIM ALONE, I claim movement, joy, and freedom(Galatians 5:1)--IN Him I live and breath and move have my being. (Acts 17:28) In Christ alone I will walk, I will run, I will jump, climb ten foot walls, shimmy through mud pits under barbwire, dunk myself into a bath of ice water, leap off 15 foot platforms into the 33 degree water below, hurl my body up a 15 foot half pipe trusting someone stronger will catch me, and maneuver my way through a maze of live wire enduring the 10,000 volts of electricity that shock my lower back feeling like a baseball bat has crashed into my spine.

Crazy?  Absolutely.  Insane? Positively commitable.  Would I do it again?  Bring it on! (It's taken me two weeks to write those last 3 words, but yes, I would do it again.)  Why?  Because when God provides for you through one of the most difficult things you've ever experienced (and I include childbirth in this category because their was no epidural to numb the pain), when you stumble across the finish line almost in tears out of pure relief, you come to a slow realization as your body relaxes and rewarms and reorients that YOU ARE STILL ALIVE!  Very much alive, actually.

Oh, you have a few bumps and scrapes, some seriously ugly bruises, and others that day (not in our group) left with twisted ligaments, displaced joints, and a few with broken bones--but no one died.  No, we all lived!  Really lived.  Fully lived.  And to fully live like that is the greatest, deepest feeling of accomplishment and true, utter joy I've experienced in life.  Some people say you get addicted to the adrenaline, and there's probably some truth in that, but it's also knowing, knowing for sure, without a doubt--I did that.  God did that.  Wow.  Look what we can do together.  Look what He can do through me.  Wow.

Everything I'm writing here is about a physical challenge, but if you look a little deeper, it also applies to our spiritual lives and walks with the Lord.  What is it you are afraid to accomplish?  To do? To try?  Is fear holding you back from fully living for the Lord?

 Are you taking the first steps?  I mean, I didn't get to the point where I could physically complete this "race" over night.  It's been over 2 years since my first 1 minute run down the street.  There's been multiple 5Ks, 10Ks, and half-marathons leading up to this point.  Where are you on the road to doing great things?  Are you following the Lord's leading in even the small things, so He can trust you with the bigger?  A principle from my BSF study this past week was God works step by step, not leap by leap.

Have you surrounded yourself with a team of people to help you accomplish your goal?  Because let me tell you, at mile 6 when my entire leg was cramping so bad it felt there was a moving creature running inside my leg from my butt cheek to my ankle, and all I could do was walk, I silently blessed my sweet husband for walking by my side and never making me feel less of a team mate for having to slow the pace.  I silently thanked the Lord for each member of my 8-person team who at one point or another shouted an encouraging word, offered a helping hand, took some time to walk by my side when I couldn't run, and just overall let me know, they didn't care I couldn't keep up.  It didn't matter in the end that I wasn't up to their fitness level, they just wanted me to finish with them.

And believe me, everyone of us openly admitted there would have been no finishing without a team to support you.  This was not a one man "race," and neither is our walk with the Lord.  It is a challenge for the body of Christ to love one another and get each other through to the end.  Leave no man behind.  Lift and push them over the walls of life.  Pull them out of the ice when the tunnel vision has set in and they can't move forward.  Encourage them through the tunnels and over the hay bales of life.  Pull them up when they are about to slip back down a slippery slope.  Jump together into the cold, dark water holes of life.

If you haven't surrounded yourself with these people, then honestly, you have a slim chance in Hades of making it out alive or making it at all.  Chances are you will simply give up, quit, and go home.  Then all the glory God could have gotten, all the joy He wants to give as He works through you is wasted and useless, and you will feel the weight of the shame.  Thank God for forgiveness and repentance, grace and second chances, but that still means you have to wait and start the race another day,from the beginning, working through some of the same challenges you had already faced--again.  So find the right people to help you through.  Find them, listen to them, encourage them in return, invest in their lives as well, build and honor those relationships, and run together.

Do life together because even Christ surrounded Himself with 12 loyal disciples.  Even He was in constant communion with His heavenly Father.  Jesus died absolutely, positively alone as the Father turned His back away from the sin that weighed on Christ's shoulders on the cross.  For a brief moment in time, Christ had to die utterly alone, so that we NEVER have to be alone, ever, not even for a moment because IN Christ we live and move and have our being. (Acts 17:28 but I also like Ephesians 2:4-10)  His very presence is even evident in nature. (Romans 1:20)  God's plan is not for us to be alone.  Alone with Him at times, maybe, but never completely alone.  Only Jesus had to suffer that horrible fate.  All for love of us.

So find those people and conquer those fears.  I challenge you to find something physical that seems insurmountable because God (obviously) has taught me so much through the analogies of the physical and spiritual life, and He will be faithful to carry and teach you as well.  Never be afraid to really live!  To fully live!  We serve a BIG GOD!  Amen.  There's nothing too difficult for Him=)

So, fear conquering in a nutshell...
1) Identify the fear and admit you are afraid.  There is no condemnation in Christ! (Romans 8:1)
2) Commit to overcoming the fear.  Sign up for that race, put down that non-refundable deposit on that mission trip, whatever it looks like for you--commit yourself!
3) Prepare.  This can be LOTS of prayer and scripture memory.  It may be more physical in a nature like training your body.  It could be doing your research and talking to the right people.  Whatever preparation looks like, put forth the best you can offer.
4) Surround yourself with the right people for support. Let me tell you, our two team-members standing on the sidelines with water, energy gels, and snacks during the "race," following us around from obstacle to obstacle, taking pictures and cheering us on were JUST as important as everyone actually doing the "race" with me.  Surrounding yourself with the right people can take many different forms, all of them vital.
5) Trust God. Period.  Only He is capable of defeating fear.  He holds all the power.  Trust Him!

Now live life fully and go conquer some fears!  Trust me.  It's exhilarating!!!

^{Romans 8: 37} No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.